Why Emojis Are Emotional, Dangerous, and Required.

The emotional awkwardness caused through odd Japanese cartoons

Emojis have become a trademark of this generation. It has come to a point when even adults are traversing into the waters of conveying their emotions through emojis. The thesis of this post? Emojis are required. They are also dangerous.

Section One: Romance and Emojis

Having crushes on people is a natural progression of life. In the cases when you can’t harden your heart and destroy your emotions — crushes can make you read situations in ways you never would as an objective human being. This lack of discernment is amplified over text and emojis can be the culprit of this.

When you are texting someone you like and they start sending mad hearts, heart eye emojis, and other love related emojis throughout the conversation — There are two things you can do. You can either ignore the hearts or engage back with more hearts. This makes you think through your mind what you really want with this person and if it’s really worth it. If you act cold, they may never try this again. If you act warm, they may act too comfortable. What should you do? Who knows. What I do? Delete their number and avoid eye contact. See? Emojis can be dangerous.

When you are trying to figure out of this person likes using mad emojis or if they’re into you — 
Not everyone uses emojis. In the percentage of people who use emojis, guys are in the smallest percentile (y’all that’s science). We have all been in those moments when you are texting someone and they are a frequent emoji user. When a guy is this person — I tend to get sus. My solution? Find another person they text and check their phone. It is advised you ask first, but if you don’t — just run if they catch you. Moreover, if there is a consistency with the amount of emojis this dude is using with other people? You’re ok. If not — proceed to do as I said in the previous scenario.

Section Two: Parents and Emojis

When the emojis your parents use in their text and their IRL reaction don’t align — 
I am of the younger generation. When I use an emoji, I intend for that emotion to relay what I am feeling. To parents, this is more of an option. This is a public service announcement to all people over the age of thirty. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ME PLEASE DO NOT PUT SMILEY FACE EMOJIS IN YOUR TEXTS. I repeat — IF YOU ARE ANGRY/SAD/DISSAPOINTED/ANYTHING ELSE BUT WHAT YOUR EMOJIS SUGGESTS PLEASE DON’T PUT THEM IN TEXT. I really do not think the older generation understands the emotional whiplash caused by the disconnect in moods. Like if I’m about to get a talk — Y u no prepare me? It’s a cold world my friends.

When your parents don’t understand that emojis are to represent IRL actions—Another issue with the older generation is that they fail to realize that emojis relay real actions. Like if you would randomly wink at people IRL, you shouldn’t put it in text. It comes off as sexual and (if you’re over a certain age) really creepy. If you don’t understand this — I think we’ll have to disable your emoji keyboard. You must learn dis etiquette.

Section Three: Me and Emojis

Are you mad at me? Yes. — 
I can be a passive agressive texter or a very up front texter. Really depends on if I like you or not. My upsetedness come in the form of a lack of emojis. It’s a cold world when your only “fun” character is a period. If I am upset with you my texts will be as follows:

Person I Am Displeased With: Heyyyyyyyyy :)
Me: Hey.
PIADW: What’s going on G-DAWWWWG???? *emojis*
Me: Nm u?
PIADW: Just chilling with my friendssssss. *includes information I don’t care about*
Me: Oh cool.
PIADW: Yahhhhhh *emojis*
*doesn’t answer* *deletes conversation*

The politics of the emoji(s) besides the contact name — 
This really stresses me out. It is a reason why few people can touch my phone. I hate when there is someone who thinks they are close with you, but they don’t have any emojis or even a contact picture by their name. Am I mad? No. We ain’t that close. Then there is those moments when you take away bare emojis from someone’s name. Leaving their name cold and bare. Everything’s a metaphor in the world of emojis and contact names. Don’t laugh — I’m serious.

So this was my little hello for the week. It was part serious, mostly humorous, and a tad autobiographical. I hope you liked it.

Until next time,