Gratitude Letter #8

To the One I Should Thank More Often.

A co-worker (hey! A job!) emailed me a link to a Buzzfeed Facebook post featuring Homer Simpson driving over a bridge an lighting it on fire. “Me on New Year’s Eve” was the caption.

Judging by the 13,000 likes, it seems that it wasn’t just me who had a pretty shitty 2016. (Especially after last month’s election.) However, as this terrible year wraps up, I’m finding myself noticing how much different I feel this December than I did last December. I honestly don’t know me from December 2015 would recognize the me that sits here now in 2016. In a good way.

I have to admit. 2016 was pretty fucking shitty, but it was also pretty fucking amazing, too. Damn.

And in this realization, it occurs to me that I’ve spent a lot of time expressing gratitude (publicly and privately) to people, things and moments that created my experiences in 2016, both negative and positive. I’ve found peace with the hardships I’ve faced and even found ways to be grateful for the major pains that have led to the major joys. But I don’t think I’ve spent enough time being grateful for myself. For the work, the effort and the compassion I’ve put in to get through this crazy year.

So, in this gratitude letter (#8) I would like to publicly thank MYSELF and not feel guilty or pretentious or weird about it. I want to shout this shit from the rooftops, or at least my couch from which I’m writing this now.

THANK YOU, ME.

Thanks for crying when I needed to let it out but also know when it was time to dry the tears and laugh again.

Thanks for exploring new ways of coping and channeling my energy into things like fitness and crystals and hot yoga.

Thanks for pushing beyond my boundaries and finally deciding I can’t let fear hold me back.

Thanks for being cracked wide open and taking the time to look at what fell out so I could start to really, really heal.

Thanks for making gratitude a part of my daily life and not a chore I checked off a to-do list.

Thanks for being brave enough to share my struggles and shortcomings with others through this blog and for opening up in ways I never could’ve imagined.

Thanks for understanding in a new way that being ME is exactly who I should be.

Thanks for learning what to let go of and what to keep.

Thanks for deciding to hang on, when I thought I couldn’t.

Thanks for making new and beautiful friends who love and support me.

Thanks for bringing me home.

Thanks for pushing me to leave a relationship that wasn’t healthy, and for showing me the ways in which I wanted to change for my next one.

Thanks for being exactly who I needed to be.

Thanks for making it through 2016 and for all the abundance and joy I know I’ll receive in 2017 because of it. ❤