No stillness.

As I sat contemplating the loss of a shot at vocation and love at the same time, I suddenly felt clarity. Like a relentless glutton for punishment I felt with an acute sense of guilt, a feeling that I deserved and had worked my way down to, this snag. Relief then, at having avoided major derailment and wry sorrow at the weight of bad coincidences piling up. A bad coin indeed. Like a hopeless optimist I feel the chance at quick redemption and renewed focus, a leap in momentum ahead. I felt restlessness wash over me, soaked in it, my every nerve ending turned hyperactive. The minor tremors blended into deliberate movement. No stillness.