By Now

By now
I’m so used to the chaos
Any peace they can’t find is they loss
I’ll help em find
Engage in a seance
But they still let the mind be they boss

At most
It’s a co captain
I realized this when mine snapped in
2
All of a sudden seeing different hues
All of a sudden I was running with some different views

See the mind
It remembers when it’s been abused
Even when you can’t recall it
Hampered recollection of when you were a small kid
But a lack of conscious memory does not absolve it
The jokes and how they poke at you being a tall kid
Or a small kid

Remember what the mall did
Wanted everything because that’s what we all did
The molding of our mind was flawless

And how it manifest today as if to say
You don’t have to remember
Part of you has been dismembered
Removed
But you’ll remain cisgender

Your pursuit of peace
Your mind won’t assist with it
Never learned to pass
You and all your misgivings
You remain alone
Stuck in a head missing

Fuck
Why can’t kids be led different