Moving Away from a Heteronormative World
Most people automatically think of men and women together, but that is changing.
Like many other young girls growing up, I was told stories and encouraged to read books. Though many were educational tools, adult figures also supported the reading of storybooks to help aid inner creativity in myself and my friends. I am a huge fan, to this day, of fairytale stories and fiction novels. However, I never really noticed how biased they were until I was an adult leaving my small “sheltered” hometown.
All of my beloved childhood books and movies were completely heterosexual. There was no diversity in couples whatsoever. It was always a man and woman falling in love and living happily ever after.
The thing is that this is not a new idea. Homosexual couples have been around for hundreds of years, so this is not a new thing that, as preceding generations say, “was not started by us.” So why? Why are all of these stories that help shape the young minds of today not showing this love alongside all others? One-word answers this in a nutshell.
This is a word that I bet many people have never heard once in their lives. Nonetheless, it is a big word that represents an extremely toxic part of modern society.
Heteronormativity is a word outlining the idea that heterosexuality is the normal and appropriate relationship that all people look for. Heterosexual refers to people who are attracted to others that are a gender different from their own. It is a belief that supports only two genders roaming this earth, and those who practice otherwise are wrong, strange, and unusual. This is how most of the world views life, even if it is an unconscious practice.
I am not blaming children today for thinking this way all on their own. That is not how this works. Children are unconsciously conditioned to think this way by the environment they are exposed to as they are growing and developing their own beliefs and morals.
Movies, television shows, novels, short fairytales, music, and other platforms scream heteronormativity, especially entertainment targeting children under the age of 15. Not only do they completely disregard homosexual relationships, but they consist primarily of cisgender people who are allosexual. This means that they are people who identify with the gender that aligns with the birth sex, and they experience regular sexual attraction towards others.
Heteronormativity is more harmful than most people think. Since it is twisted into almost every aspect of life, it is pretty near impossible to fully get away from it. With that, it gives a direct pathway for homophobic and transphobic people to openly express their prejudice towards others without fear of consequences. It is already hard for members of the LGBTQ+ community to express themselves since we already live in a world that has normalized heteronormativity in every aspect.
Heteronormativity holds that people are of the gender and sexuality we assume from preconceived ideas of what they are supposed to look like. It refuses the personal decision of who someone says they are simply because traditional standards tell us that they are supposed to look and love a certain way.
In essence, heteronormativity excludes LGBTQ+ people as a whole. It is represented through the bathroom signs throughout schools and businesses to laws and legal documents that people use.
None of this will ever be a black and white scenario. Nothing every really is that plain and simple. There are always different shades of gray area. I’m not saying that acknowledging heterosexual couples and cisgender individuals is a bad thing, but they are not the only ones. It is time that people stop assuming everyone is heterosexual and the gender that they “look like.”
One of the biggest examples that I have witnessed is people assuming right from the get-go that you are heterosexual. From the point a child hits middle school nowadays, they are asked if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. This question is continued throughout the rest of their life until they reach a point where they are seriously involved and marry someone. Then, when most people in a conversation say that they are married, others automatically think that a woman has a husband.
The interesting thing is that most people do not intend to purposely offend anyone when they assume this. History has conditioned us to this over time. Just because it is this way, doesn’t mean that it is always right. Once this is a set idea in society, it is difficult to change it instantly. However, things are slowly changing for the better.
Movies and television shows have increasingly become more inclusive by focusing on characters with different sexual orientations and gender inclusivity. Many educational institutions are focusing on gender equality and working to create more friendly environments for nonbinary students and faculty. Specifically, some are including the option in online surveys and forms that people may select the “other” selection for gender if they are nonbinary or do not wish to disclose that information. Even some companies are changing for the better right of the bat. Some employers are checking with new employees on their pronouns after hiring them to create a friendly and welcoming work environment.
Our heteronormative world is not the worst place, but there is much need for improvement. We can’t change the past and how heteronormativity has taken over society, but we can be tools to better the future for all people both in and out of the LGBTQ+ community. Let’s think about it as we move forward. Even if you are just informing yourself about heteronormativity and what it means, that is a step in the right direction.
