Dunkin’ Donuts thinks we’re stupid

What? They sell coffee, too?

Lots of people buy coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.

Lots and lots of people — hot, iced, in the store, at home.

They’d even have you believe that you just can’t function without it.

But apparently, there’s just one thing standing between Dunkin’ Donuts and worldwide coffee domination.

Its name.

Yes, the marketing geniuses have decided that calling the company Dunkin’ Donuts isn’t the kind of “branding” the company wants … because they somehow think people only associate it with doughnuts?

“Today, Dunkin’ Donuts is locked in a nationwide popularity contest with Starbucks and independent coffeehouses, aggressively competing for the loyalty of an increasingly calorie-conscious customer base concerned with staying fit, not just caffeinated. Doughnuts — while delicious — connote neither.
To that end, the Massachusetts-based chain is deploying a new marketing strategy. Its first vestiges appeared this week in Pasadena, Calif., where a new Dunkin’ Donuts storefront emerged bearing a new name and slogan:
Dunkin’. Coffee and more.”

And someone at a marketing company actually got paid to write this. Your coffee will go cold trying to translate it into English.

“Working closely with other marketing partners, we helped bring to life the brand positioning ‘America Runs on Dunkin’ and establish Dunkin’ Donuts as the place where on-the-go consumers can enjoy quality coffee, served fast and at a great value. We created an always-on media strategy of aggressive news outreach and creative storytelling to promote new Dunkin’ Donuts menu items, technologies and operations initiatives. On a monthly basis, we implemented buzz-worthy online and offline consumer campaigns surrounding new product launches and key seasonal moments, earning regular feature coverage in the most important national print, broadcast and digital outlets. RF|Binder also helped to establish Dunkin’ Donuts’ first programs in collaboration with leading social influencers and content creators.”

I’d go on, but I need to go watch AMC. I don’t know what’s on, but I’m sure it will be American, a movie and a classic.

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