10 Lessons for Your Son
Let me first start by saying that these lessons I am about to go over are by no means limited to only your son(s). Any of you with young ladies in your family can apply these as well.
I was lucky enough to grow up with fantastic parents. They instilled good morals within me, great values, good manners, and taught me to have that intrinsic drive and motivation that’s necessary to own my choices, my life.
Now that I am a parent myself, my only hope is that I can be the kind of father that mine was to me. I want to be the father than makes sure his son becomes a good man, a good son, a good husband, a good father himself.
Here are some things that I believe will help my son become the kind of man he himself will be proud of, the kind of man I will take great pride in.
In today’s day and age where respect, manners, motivation, passion, and drive seem to be slipping from many in the up-and-coming generation (I see it every day as a teacher), it is our job as parents to do more, to be better.
Take ownership over your own life
The entitlement I see in many of today’s youth is sad to see. The notion that the world owes your something, that others in your life owe you something is a cancer in our society.
To me it breeds the kind of person that will never take command of their own lives. This mentality will never allow our society to move forward. Quite the opposite in fact.
Teaching my son to own his decisions, to own his actions, to own his words will be incredibly freeing for him. It will teach him that that his successes and his failures are his and his alone.
When he understands this, he will understand the kind of power and control he has over his own life. We are not victims in our own lives unless we allow ourselves to be.
Be self-disciplined
I believe this lesson ties into the one above. If you are not accountable to yourself, you will never allow yourself to show the kind of discipline necessary to live a life of fulfillment.
To master your world, you must first master yourself. Self-discipline is not easy, make no mistake about it. It takes an enormous amount of effort and consistent effort to start to build self-discipline.
But as you can imagine, without that self-discipline it will be tough to show consistent effort. It’s a cycle that you must bring under your thumb, that you must be in total control of.
Success for my son (whatever he decides that will look like for him) will be infinitely more difficult to attain without self-discipline.
Be a leader
There are of course many different forms of leadership. Teach your son to find his leadership style and then follow through on that.
Leadership is not something you negotiate. It is something either within you, or something you forge.
Whether you lead by example, or you lead through strong communication skills, becoming a leader in your own right will help you take ownership in your life. It will help you move toward the success you seek.
If my son knows and understands himself as a person and what he brings to the table as a leader, he will then surround himself with other strong personalities.
As we know, strength attracts strength.
Ignore the crowd
Far too many in our world today are completely okay with being one of the many, rather than the one who stands out.
We find comfort in anonymity amongst the crowd. The funny thing is, when we follow the crowd, we are usually following toward a dangerous end.
What I mean by that is, we are in danger of just living a life of conformity. Our society has many great aspects to it of course, and fitting within that mould is not always a terrible thing.
But, again, if my son is to live a true life of fulfillment, chasing his dreams, and conquering them, he will need to be his own person. He will need to follow his own path.
As parents it is important, we let our kids know they need not care about what others think. Be your own person. For better or worse. Live your own life.
Don’t be lazy
In a world where technology is king, we must not forget the simpler things in life. Getting outside, working on our physical health, which in turn leads to a healthier mind.
We cannot neglect our minds nor our bodies. It is crucial that we teach our kids not to be lazy. An active mind lean on an active body and vice versa.
On top of this, we need to instil work ethic into our children. Teaching them to have a sense of pride in their efforts is teaching them that to work hard is going to better their lives.
Laziness is a detriment not only to us but to the world as a whole.
Continuously improve
This one goes without saying and in my mind needs little explanation. If we are not teaching our kids to strive for continual self-improvement, then they may fall into the trap of loving to live in their comfort zones.
We must allow them to see the positives in challenging themselves and those around them to always be better.
Stagnation is a dangerous game. Like our muscles when they experience atrophy, to recover from standing still takes many a day with our physiotherapist rehabbing.
Why allow your life to experience atrophy where time and energy then need to be put towards regaining momentum in life when we can just keep that ball rolling in the first place.
I for one will challenge my son to make himself, and indeed the world, a better place.
Growth — at all costs
Think back to when you were a teenager going through your final growth spurt in life. I don’t know about you but shooting up from 5'8 to 6'2 in a year brought many a painful night.
Those growth pains in my teenage years were incredibly painful. But without them, I would not have become the person (biologically speaking) that I am today.
My point is, with growth, comes pain. We will not know what it takes to win if we don’t know how to lose first.
We do not grow emotionally until we have faced emotional challenge. We do not find love without first experiencing heartbreak.
We need to teach our children that not only is it okay to fail, to feel pain, to feel heartbroken, that it is in fact necessary for them to become the best version of themselves.
Beware of comfort
We all have our addictions. The word addiction has such a negative stigma attached to it and people automatically think of drugs and alcohol.
We would never consider ourselves technology addicts, or television addicts, caffeine addicts, or sugar addicts. Let me say it again. We all have our addictions.
One of which that applies to 99% of us, is our comfort zone. Every comfort zone for every person looks entirely different and is personal to them, but make no mistake, we are addicted to it.
My son will never achieve great things, will never grow, will never truly learn if he is stuck in his comfort zone. I will inform him of its dangers, and make sure he is well equipped to take on life.
Be kind
In a world where hate takes centre stage, kindness must prevail. I know this dates me, but I remember a time where we talked to one another. Where difference of opinion did not result in division and hate.
Where has it all gone wrong? Why do we now hate someone who thinks differently than we do? Why can we not converse? Why can we not seek first to understand?
My son will grow up understanding that his words and his actions have consequences, long-lasting consequences.
He will learn that you never know what someone else’s situation is, you never know what kind of day they are having.
He will learn to approach people and situations with kindness. That a kind act, or a kind word from him, may just change someone’s life for the better.
Rather than be the person someone remembers as an adult for a bullying comment or action as a child, be the person somebody remembers because you showed kindness where others failed to do so.
Are these ten lessons perfect? Absolutely not.
But they are a start. If I teach my son these lessons correctly, I know he will grow to be proud of himself, I know he will grow to be proud of the way he was raised.
After all, what better legacy can we leave, than to leave children who celebrate life, that own life, that make the world a better place.
If you have enjoyed reading this, I would love a follow. I will be sure to check out your writing to learn from you. I can’t wait to connect.
Talk soon everyone,
Dad Bod.
