I was ready to undermine myself again, but this message made a difference.
Being hard on myself is my jam.
There’s nothing wrong with celebrating small wins as dearly as big, life-changing successes. But what’s the point of making a fuzz over something pretty simple?
I’ve always believed that if I achieve something that anyone can easily do, I’ve accomplished nothing. Talk about it only when it’s worth going through pains to get it. Success isn’t easy; if everyone’s doing it, it might as well not be a success.
I have a fear of when people congratulate you but, in their mind, think, “As if she won an Oscar or a Nobel. What’s the deal about it, anyway?”
I hate being that person who wants all attention on themselves for nothing.
“Came first in class?” “ Well, it’s not like you won an Olympiad.”
“Won a Toastmasters championship?” “Talk to me when you make it to the international level.”
“Gave up on engineering to pursue passion and still hitting your career goals?” “You’re not the first one.”
That’s the dialogue the monsters in my mind have with me.
I’m yet to figure out what wired me this way. If I had competitive parents, that would have made sense. But they’re my greatest cheerleaders.
I guess I’m my own problem.
When I started freelancing in December 2022, I started from level 0. The academics were of no use. I had skipped the campus recruitment, and there was no going back. I didn’t yet know the struggles of freelancing. Far from it, I was only aware of the “freedom” freelancers enjoy.
A side note: That freedom comes with a cost: working your tail off to make your way into that world.
But I loved it. I worked for content mills which required 1200–1500 word blogs day in and day out. They didn’t care for creativity and flair in writing as long as you turned in the article before EOD.
I’ve seen clients expecting results within a week as if I have a magic wand. A single wave and all their problems will disappear. And I messed up setting the expectations straight. I failed to explain I couldn’t promise results within weeks, and when I didn’t deliver, I blamed myself for being incapable.
Amid toxic clients, I also got the good ones we call “Golden clients,” who were huge green flags waving high.
From miserable fails to great results — I went from one phase to another. But I still felt miserable sharing my client wins on LinkedIn.
“You’re not the only one who got results. People here have got better results in less time without messing up like you do.” If the facepalm emoji had been a person, that would have been me.
From 0 to 10K+ followers, from 0 to 4 successful client stories, from 0 to a decent income — all within 10 months. But I felt like a failure because I had not checked off every single goal on my list.
Yet, I went ahead with posting one of my client’s case studies. You need to sell yourself if you want leads here.
While replying to every congratulatory comment, feeling like an imposter, something unexpected happened.
A message popped up in my inbox.
“A Token of Appreciation For Being Awesome.”
I ignored it at first, thinking it was another sales pitch. But when I opened it, a chain of thoughts passed my mind within a second. My body couldn’t stop reacting — smiling ear to ear, and my mind couldn’t stop doubting — “What’s the real motive?”
“I am following you for quite sometime and everytime you post something, you always leave me wondering “ Wow, how did she do all this?” Being a newbie content all these things overwhelms me. I wonder if you felt the same. The reason why I’m writing this is to let you know that you are doing so much more than just working. You are also inspiring me and many more. I would be delighted if we could connect. From a newbie writer.”
You can tell it’s not a transactional message but a genuine note of appreciation. But I, acting like the human version of the facepalm emoji, straddled between replying to the message and ignoring it for 7 days.
On the 7th day, I decided to listen to my heart and reply. And what she said later made me regret waiting 7 days to respond.
“Thank you for connecting Gouri.”
No ask? Just a simple message?
Smiles all over.
It was nothing but a genuine token of appreciation, which I foolishly ignored.
Today, when I’m writing this article, I feel utter regret for not replying on time. For always beating myself up, feeling like an imposter. For never giving myself enough credit and celebrating the small wins.
10 months ago, I was a beginner, observing great creators to emulate them—a nobody trying to find a place for me in the sea of accomplished creators. Today, there’s someone at the same place I was, wanting to tell me I’ve taken the position of a creator for her to learn from.
When I reread the message, this time, it looked different. I may not have reached the ultimate goal, but I’ve found someone who sees my content as a learning. And yes, a hundred creators have achieved this fit, but that doesn’t make it worthless.
I’ve seen people praise you like crazy one day and badmouth you the very next. Social media is a weird mess with people appreciating you in exchange for appreciation. (Like Medium has the unsaid follow-for-follow policy.) I’ve learned not to get fazed by praise or hate.
But not every message is transactional. Not everyone is fake praising you for something in return.
What seems like a small win not worth celebrating can be an impossible fit for someone else. I regret not letting myself enjoy every accomplishment, thinking there’s much more and better to come. There is, but what I am today is no less.
Dear Newbie Writer, thank you for teaching me that getting better is a long game. That I shouldn’t be harsh on myself. For teaching me to celebrate every small win because, without it, the most significant goals will never become a reality.
Thank you for reading!
