Oh Crap! Colonoscopy Tales Part 2
It Was A Wild Ride
Two days ago I was lamenting about my colonoscopy prep. I am here to tell you that I survived it, barely.
I took my prep early so that I wouldn’t be up all night. That didn’t quite work out. I drank it at 5 p.m. It did not work until after 10. My instructions were that if it wasn’t working well I had to drink 64 more ounces of water with 14 caps of Miralax! This was after I had already consumed my first 16 ounce prep followed by 32 ounces of water.
Needless to say, my stomach felt like it was about to burst. I was up until 2 a.m.
I woke up at 4 a.m. and drank my second dose of prep at 6 a.m.
I was quite exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before.
The second dose went much more smoothly.
In my stupor, I wrote down the telephone number of my friend who was going to pick me up. I had to give it to the hospital before my procedure.
Coincidentally, my friend had a close friend who was a patient in the hospital. She would be visiting her while I had my colonoscopy.
My friend dropped me off at the front door and off I went. The woman taking my info in the colonoscopy cubicle told me she knew my driver. I had given her the paper with my friend’s name and telephone number.
She asked me a million questions after I changed into the beautiful (NOT) hospital gown.
Soon after that, my GI doctor came and introduced herself and asked if I had any questions. I did not because this was not my first rodeo.
The anesthesiologist came to see me as well. He was so wonderful and honed in on talking about my sleep apnea. He said if I didn’t do well he would have to put a special mask on my face which would probably wake me up!
I asked in a panicked voice, “During the procedure??!!” He said most likely it would be before they started. I was relieved, once again, after relieving myself for hours on end the night before.
They rolled me into the room where the colonoscopy would be done.
The anesthesiologist was looking around for his leads. He had to go and get them. I jokingly said, “Am I going to be able to trust you?” He laughed and reassured me that I could.
He talked to me and I thought I would have to count backwards from ten but that didn’t happen. The next thing I knew, it was all over and he was asking me how I was. I expected this to happen because I have done this before and also had a few surgeries. You always wake up before you know it.
While recovering, I was so exhausted. I think it was more from the lack of sleep than due to the light anesthesia. I felt nauseated. I had some water and then asked for ginger ale because of the nausea.
The doctor came out and told me I had three polyps. I was not too happy about that. I have never had them before. She removed them all and sent them to be biopsied.
She told me because I had polyps that I would need another colonoscopy in three years, rather than ten years. This news did not sit well with me one bit. I did not want to have to repeat last night’s ordeal so soon!
Then the anesthesiologist came to talk to me. He said that my breathing was obstructed a lot. I told him I used nasal pillows with my cpap machine.
He said that those were not adequate for me and that I needed to call my doctor and get a different mask. Just what I wanted to hear. I love my nasal pillows.
I felt dead to the world and wanted to lie there forever. The nurse asked if I felt ready to get dressed. I said no. I then had to try whether I wanted to or not.
They then called my friend. They said she wasn’t answering her cell phone.
This surprised me.
A few minutes later it dawned on me that I had written down her home phone number instead of her cell phone! I was so out of that morning that I wrote the wrong number down!
I was panicking because I didn’t have my cell phone. They specifically told me not to bring anything of value with me.
I didn’t know how I could get a hold of my friend. I told them that she was in the hospital visiting a friend. Luckily, I knew the friend’s name and asked the nurse if she could call the patient’s room. I didn’t know what else to do.
She called the room and there was no answer. They then paged my friend and she didn’t respond.
It was now the time that I had told my friend they most likely would discharge me. The nurse thought my friend would probably call about me. I wasn’t sure because I was supposed to call her.
The only person who had my friend’s cell phone number was my brother.
He was flying home from Prague and would be landing in Chicago around the time this fiasco was taking place. I wasn’t sure if he would be there yet because I couldn’t remember the exact time he would be landing for his layover.
In a last ditch-effort, the nurse called my brother. I was astounded when I heard her talking to him! He told her that he would not have answered if she had called 30 seconds earlier. His plane had just touched down. He came to my rescue, as he has so many times before, and gave the nurse my friend’s cell phone number.
The nurse called my friend and she came to get me. The nurse wheeled me down to the car.
My friend told me that she heard the phone ringing in the room but she didn’t get to it in time. Of course, she had no idea it was for me. It could have been for her friend.
She had not heard them paging her. She did say that she was getting ready to go check on me.
All I have to say is that I am so happy that this entire debacle is over.
I fell asleep at 8:30 last night.
Just think, I have three years until I have to go through this again.
Oh, joy!
Below is my first article the night before my procedure:
Autistic Widower (“AJ”), Harry Hogg, Brandon Ellrich, Paula Shablo, Jerry Dwyer, NancyO, Adrienne Beaumont, Pluto Wolnosci, Dennett, Katie Michaelson, Pat Romito LaPointe, Michael Rhodes, Karen Schwartz, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Ruby Noir 😈, Rachella Angel Page, Lisa Guard, Lu Skerdoo, Michelle Jimerson Morris, Adrian CDTPPW, Jennifer Dunne, Shanti C K, Randy Pulley, Julia A. Keirns, Sophia Tell- Stories 2 inspire, inform & entertain
