Two Men I Love Like Mad
I’ve been super MIA, both on agutsygirl.com, but also (and mainly) here.
In case you didn’t hear the biggest news of my entire life yet, I’m writing a book. Yeah, a real book, that will be available from a real publisher in all the usual suspect places you’d find a book…..including Amazon.
I’m under strict contract, so I can’t say anything else. I mention it because it has completely and totally taken over my whole life — including A Thyme for Milk and Honey, which is the outlet I love most (shhhhhh…..don’t tell any other outlet that).
This was written on a quiet morning this past weekend while I sat in silence (semi-silence — kids were screaming-you know?!) because even though life is in this one-in-a-lifetime crazy-busy season, I don’t want to forget the memories of two men I love like mad.
Just the Way I Am
In the early days of Ryan and I talking (on the phone, across the country), he told me, “I’m going to a George Strait concert tonight.” I don’t remember my exact reaction. I do remember it was filled with something along the lines of, “I’m jealous. He is one of my favorites ever. George and Reba.”
If you ask Ryan, he would probably remember my exact response. I know this because he tells me from time-to-time that it was one of the first times he really thought “we” could work. It wasn’t then — and it certainly isn’t today-common to find people with a deep love and appreciation for George Strait.
Mostly, up until Ryan, I would never answer like that. Maybe it was because no one I was dating or interested in told me they, too, liked country music, but I certainly never opened up to share strongly about it. Most guys were the ones to say, when asked what kind of music they liked, “Anything — well, anything but country.”
So, like Julia Roberts from Runaway Bride, I’d always tell them I enjoyed my eggs exactly the way they did; never the way I truly did.
Until Ryan. I think it’s because deep down I knew (or at least wanted him to be) he was the one. And so, I had to be just me.
And all of me loved all of country music. There was no way around it.
I look back on that moment so often today — so often ever since- because it not only reminds me of Ryan and how much I love him, but it also reminds me of my dad- and how much I love him.
Why? And how?
My dad, more than anyone else in the entire world, taught me that I could be exactly who I was and that was perfect. I mean, I don’t think I actually knew it until much later in life, but he taught me it from the time I was very little.
Because of my dad, I learned to dance to the beat of my own drum; because of Ryan, it was solidified and celebrated — it is, daily.
Two Men I Love Like Mad
It was just Father’s Day, and this post came late.
But the two men I love like mad are my dad and Ryan.
One gave me the wings to fly.
The other never tries to reign me in.
