Top 100 Survivor Characters of the Decade: #75–71

Featuring Worlds Apart bookends

Welcome back to my countdown of the top 100 Survivor characters of the decade. Before we begin, here’s a quick reminder of the criteria in play:

•The most important thing to note is that this is all subjective and done by myself. No doubt many readers will see people miss the top 100 and will feel like I have slighted a character. These are simply my opinions on who the top 100 is, it’s my personal list that I’ve been curating for well over 4 months, and I completely understand that you can disagree. I look forward to healthy disagreement as I reveal this list.

•A player’s entire history is considered in their rankings. For example, I won’t be looking solely at Malcolm Freberg’s Philippines appearance, his Caramoan and Game Changers games are part of the whole product.

•This list will only include Survivors who debuted between 2010 and 2019. That means players who have played prior to that won’t be included even if they participated in a season that fits out parameters (IE: the entire cast of HvV).

•Sadly, as it is still playing out, I can’t fairly incorporate out Island of the Idols cast into my rankings. That means I will have to leave them out entirely. With that said, there’s no doubt that Noura would have cracked the top 20 (probably the top 10) if she sustains this run she has been on. Likewise, players like Missy, Kellee, Elaine and even Dean would also have had a shot at making the top 100. I sadly don’t have the time to put this thing together if it means having to wait for this season to end.

•I am ranking these Survivors as characters. Not as strategists or game players. I am solely trying to determine who I believe were the most entertaining characters of the last decade.

To read any of the previous entries, click HERE.

With all of that out of the way, I present you numbers 75through 71 in A Tribe of One’s Top 100 Characters of the Decade countdown.

75. Carolyn Rivera, Survivor: Worlds Apart

To me, if anyone represents the cross that the older woman finalist on Survivor must bear, it’s Carolyn Rivera. Being dubbed “Mama C” was never going to be great for her game because of the feelings that nickname brings up. Carolyn was a smart, fit and game-focused player who the other players decided would be their parental figure on the island. She never asked for that, but it’s the role she was given.

Consider her Survivor resume. She’s given the “old woman isn’t strong” curse by So Kim and the rest of her tribe immediately upon starting the game. Not one to give a crap, Carolyn, figures out that So and Joaquin are lying about the opening twist, is able to assume the location of the idol thanks to So’s obvious search for it and finds the hidden immunity idol. When So tries to get the vote pinned on Carolyn, the latter flips everything back onto her and has So voted out of the game.

Then, she swaps to a new tribe with Max and Shirin, the most annoying alliance ever conceived. They are so smug about their Survivor knowledge. Look, I am writing a “top 100 Survivor Characters of the Decade” on a sit entirely devoted to covering Survivor in all aspects… and Max and Shirin were intolerable to me too. Carolyn’s intuition helps her realize that her new tribe is not down with this gruesome twosome, she is the one who moves first and blindsides Max out of the game.

It feels appropriate here to remind the audience how Carolyn herself felt about Max and Shirin,

Max and Shirin are so annoying. And they may think it’s three and three, No Collar against, uh, White Collar… not happening. So, I’m thinking, “Alright, Carolyn, patience is a virtue. Don’t go crazy, but to blindside them would be so sweet.

Carolyn’s key partner in the game is Tyler. She gets along best with him on the White-Collar tribe and they formed a bond because Carolyn told him she had an idol. At the merge, Carolyn and Tyler became swing votes. The Blue Collar and No Collar (plus Shirin) tribes both needed their support to take each other out. They decided to side with the Blue-Collar tribe that would eventually take control of the game (despite being blindsided with an idol at the merge and losing Kelly Remington and despite Joe Anglim constantly winning immunity challenges).

In a show of ingenuity, Carolyn took out her closest ally, Tyler, when everyone else was distracted by Mike’s failure to win immunity. He played his idol and with Carolyn (and Sierra’s) vote, Tyler was suddenly knocked out of the game at the final six.

She followed up that round by pulling an all-time idol play at the next tribal council. When Dan decided to use his extra vote in a tribal council that was seemingly between Carolyn and Dan, she used her hidden immunity idol. Because Dan is the recipient of this idoling out, it will always remain one of my favorite plays of all-time.

“I’d rather go down swinging than watch strike three go by”. He’s just so smug about it, which is the Dan way of being. I love how Carolyn gets a Mike high-five when she plays the idol. I love Dan’s blank and fearful stare into the abyss. I love Mike’s clapping at first sight of the cancelled Carolyn votes. I love Carolyn’s swagger when she knows that she played the idol correctly. I love her wink at the jury. Basically I love everything about this vote off.

Her war with Rodney for making fire is also memorable. That it took so long was not a great indication for either of their skills, but in the end, Carolyn came out on top. It’s especially sweet because Rodney is so hellbent on this one-way vendetta he has with Mama C, based on being snubbed for rewards, and in the end, he flops his way out of the game.

Through good instincts, relationship building and great timing, Carolyn had booked her way into the final three… only to get blasted by the jury.

Mike himself respected Carolyn as a Survivor player. He saw her as a threat, managed to still work with her and in the end, though he threw her in that fire challenge, he was okay losing to her at final tribal council. In his own words,

If Rodney loses tonight, it’s poetic justice because Rodney thinks he’s smooth talked his way all the way into the final three. So maybe I am making a million dollar wrong mistake, but I would rather lose to Mama C than be the guy that just took two goats to the end and won.

I’m not going to claim that she should have beaten Mike (though I believe that). But for Carolyn to end up tied with Will fucking Sims, the dead fish himself, is insulting. Will spent his entire time on Survivor being either useless or a blight on society. Carolyn made moves, didn’t insult anybody and actually had agency on her own game. And they tied? I’m still not over this. Sierra deserves some praise for not allowing Carolyn to finish below Will and Rodney deserves to be chastised for his vote for Will.

For all the early talk about Carolyn being weak in challenges, she ends up being kind of a beast. She wins three reward challenges and once Mike begins his immunity run, Carolyn is the only one to make a dent by winning it once, her second individual immunity of the season. I love when players challenge the perception of themselves by not playing into their stereotypes. Carolyn may be an older woman but she is not to be seen as weak.

But that’s all game related. I just wanted to remind people that Carolyn was an active player on her season. She did make the moves she needed to make. She had an alliance that gave her information and she used that information correctly almost every time. Her name appeared on that Second Chances ballot and it was deserving.

Of course, there’s more to Carolyn than just the game. She was a fun character too and I want to start near the end, at the Loved Ones visit.

It’s always beautiful when spouses get to see each other after so long. It tells you a lot about those individual relationships and how much they love each other. It’s clear from both Carolyn and Joel’s actions and words that those two were completely in love.

Unfortunately, only recently, Joel passes away unexpectedly after suffering a heart attack. That information was shared by Carolyn through social media. Going back and watching that loved one’s reward with that knowledge adds so much weight and emotion behind it. It’s also beautiful in a way because Carolyn will always have that memory to cherish in her heart, but she can also go watch it whenever she pleases. In a way, Survivor helped memorialize their love for the rest of time.

There’re also the more fun things, like Carolyn’s enthusiasm for winning. Whether it’s finding the hidden immunity idol or winning a challenge, no one celebrates like Carolyn. She’s loud and she loves to dance it out. If Jason from Island of the Idols had been on her season, he would have an even harder time instituting the Footloose rules than he had with Noura.

By virtue of being part of a lot of reward wins, Carolyn becomes a key player in Rodney’s anger at being snubbed for them. Especially that time Rodney was not chosen to go on a reward that happened to be on his birthday. I just love the contrast of these confessionals given by Carolyn,

Rodney’s going to be pissed off at me because I didn’t give up this reward, but when you think about it, this is not a horrible birthday. You’re on Survivor, for God’s sake!

And then Rodney,

0 for 5 on Reward Challenges and a bunch of scumbags who neglected me on my birthday who claim to be Survivor family. Now-now all of bets are off now. Carolyn and Sierra, they ain’t going to the end. The only people who are going to the end under my watch is me. That’s it.

He’s so angry about this and it’s so funny. It’s partly because of how Rodney talks. Partly because of his genuine anger. But even if Carolyn meant no harm in not choosing Rodney on these rewards, the decision is the right one if only because we got to see Rodney’s rising anger at not eating. How are they gonna let him do dishes on his birthday?

Mike’s winners edit is so obvious that WA can be a tough season to get through. Carolyn is one of the few castaways who helps bring some levity and infectious energy into the action. This is especially true the further we get into the merge. In a season that a lot of unlikable people, Mama C can be brash and curt but she’s also someone you can’t help but like.

Carolyn is also a good confessional-giver, whenever the show feels like going to her for one. Here is a sampling of my favorite confessionals from Mama C,

Oh, my God! (ecstatic) I open it up, and I’m like, “You have found the Hidden Immunity Idol. Woot! Woot!” The magical part of this is everyone thinks that So and Joaquin have the clue and they’re all still looking. It’s hilarious.

I won my second Immunity Challenge in a row. Woot woot! So excited. But it’s not cut and dry how to play this game now because there’s so many options. So you have to make sure you figure out the right move.

I can understand why people started calling her Mama C because celebrating by going “woot woot” is 100% something my mother, who is but three years younger than Carolyn, would do. “This is a cool way to celebrate, right son?” Sure mom, sure.

When we got the word that we were switching teams, I was so excited. And I open it up (looks in disbelief) and I’m with Max and Shirin. What is the Survivor gods trying to kill me?

Just gotta remind the people how annoying Max and Shirin are whenever you can. The worst to me is that Max was such a big fan-boy of the show, got played, and has since acted like he’s too cool for Survivor. No one wants to hear from you dude, just stop.

I am smack in the middle. I got stuff working on here and I got stuff working over there. So, of course I’m going to tell him what he wants to hear, but if Mike doesn’t win immunity… gotta go!

This one has a visual aspect where Mama C is mimicking cooking with two different pots. She also dances because Carolyn is a ball of energy.

I do feel bad for Rodney that he hasn’t won a reward and I’ve been on every reward except for one. I hope he doesn’t take it personally, but this is my Survivor experience, as well.

Oh he’s gonna take it badly Carolyn.

There are legitimate reasons to knock Carolyn, which is why she isn’t higher than 75. Like Sierra, Carolyn isn’t an active part in the bad behaviour exhibited by some of the Dirty 30 crew, but she is an enabler. By sticking with the Blue Collard alliance, she’s the one who allows people like Dan to continue existing on Survivor. In the end-game, she also has a hand in keeping Will in the game. Some people don’t like Rodney and Carolyn is also part of the group that helps him get to the final four.

Still, Carolyn is a good part of a season that often drags and for that, she deserves this spot as a top 100 character of the decade.

74. Pete Yurkowsi, Survivor: Philippines

On every good basketball team, you’ve got great role players. They don’t get to score as often as the stars. Their stats don’t always pop in the box score. Much of what they do is kept in the shadows, defending the opponent’s best player, diving for loose balls or supplying to orange slices at halftime. Those players are consistent, they might never win you a game, but they also make sure they never lose you a game.

Pete is a Survivor role player and he’s kind of a symbolic figure in this ranking. I chose Pete because I enjoy his presence in the Philippines. I could have chosen Eddie Fox or Morgan McLeod or Wes Nale or… well you get the point.

Not every Survivor character can be the star of a season. So many people come into the show thinking the focus will be on them. The players who don’t try to become more than who they are but still deliver in the manner they can, those are the Survivor role players and that is who Pete gets to represent on this list.

Like a bad basketball team, a bad Survivor season usually has role players of poor quality. You can’t ask Isaiah Thomas to come off the bench and defend anybody in the same way that you can’t ask Mike Chiesl and Ralph Kiser to prop up a Survivor scene.

That’s why Pete is instrumental to a good Survivor season. He knows his role, he understands his role, and he plays it well. I will always respect someone like that.

Pete is a villain. He’s not mean or spiteful but he’s out there to cause drama in the shadows. He’s never going to be a heroic figure and he’s never going to try to be a heroic figure. As a villain, Pete strikes gold by getting placed on a tribe with Abi-Maria Gomes, the Brazilian Dragon herself.

Abi would have found a way to become the angry being we know her to be from her two seasons without Pete. But Pete was there, and he is the one who gets to claim credit for really igniting her inner volcano of rage towards RC.

I still don’t quite understand what Pete was hoping to do but his plan was to put Abi and RC at odds with each other. That wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the fact that just earlier, Pete had made an alliance with RC and Abi. So Pete’s plan was to pit two members of his own alliance against one another… cool?

How did he decide to do this? Well Abi and RC had found a clue to the hidden immunity idol together. They decided to hide that clue and work together to find it. In the meantime, Abi told Pete about the clue and where it was. When no one was looking, Pete went to go dig it out and stuffed the clue in RC’s bag. Then he let it play out.

The plan as it was worked. Abi got really pissed off at RC. For her part, RC was legitimately confused how the clue got in her bag, but she looked like a deer in the headlights in the moment, making her look guilty. From then on, RC was Abi’s enemy and she stayed laser focused on getting her out.

That would have been all well and good if Tandang was a normal tribe. The problem became when Tandang refused to lose a single challenge in the pre-merge. In doing so, Tandang brought all of their members to the merge and while that may seem ideal, it was bad because they were a totally dysfunctional mess and they had plurality but not majority.

The relationship between Pete and Abi is a fun dynamic. Pete recognizes that Abi is quick to anger and a potential liability as an ally because of it. He spends a lot of time trying to keep her pacified and cleaning up her messes. Pete even recognizes that he would rather vote her out if he could but keeps her around because in a final three, she would get no votes.

In that sense, Pete becomes the first person enthralled by Abi’s odd charm. It’s the belief you can carry her all the way to the end versus the reality of dealing with her as an ally. Yes, if by some miracle, you can pull Abi to the end, she’s always going to be a 0-vote finalist. It’s just that getting her there is like completing a marathon with a 60-pound vest on, you’re going to fail.

It’s also interesting because after the season, Pete and Abi ended up dating for a decent amount of time. People say that Abi is a completely different person outside of Survivor but it’s wild to think that Pete saw how she was in Philippines and decided to still pursue that outside of the game.

Pete’s other fun relationship is with Malcolm Freberg. After Matsing has been beaten to a pulp, Denise and Malcolm get absorbed by the two other tribes. Tandang, the already superior tribe in challenges, gets Malcolm. And Pete completely falls in love with the man. He’s willing to risk his positioning in the game to bring Malcolm in to the fold.

His adoration for Malcolm is a nice addition to Malcolm’s story. In that moment, Pete is a stand-in for the audience because I know very few people who don’t love Malcolm, especially in Survivor: Philippines. Pete’s man-crush helps illustrate the charm and charisma that Malcolm exudes without having to tell us as much. It’s a nice example of “show, don’t tell” and a great illustration of why Philippines is such a good Survivor season.

The infatuation becomes so strong that when Lisa, Pete’s ally since the early days of Tandang, tells Pete she saw an idol in Malcolm’s clothes. This is Lisa, who has never to this point told a lie on Survivor, coming to him with a completely plausible story. Yet, Pete doesn’t completely believe it at face value. Instead, Pete goes to Malcolm to ask if this is true. Malcolm meekly refutes it and Pete absolutely buys Malcom’s denial.

Malcolm freaked out. That reaction right there was enough to just kinda know, look into his soul and be like, “yo, he doesn’t have the idol”. So I don’t really know what Lisa’s trying to pull here.

It’s clear that Pete had already decided he didn’t believe what Lisa told him, he just needed Malcolm to tell him not to believe. Otherwise, there’s no way he would be talking about looking into Malcom’s soul. That kind of belief in a person is great in real life. On Survivor, it’s going to get you killed.

Still, the early merge goes well for Pete and Abi. They finally get to take out their nemesis, the evil RC, idol clue scavenger. Afterwards, they pull a fun blindside on Jeff Kent because there’s no way Malcolm has an idol and he’s totally with Pete.

At the peak of his powers, Pete is fun as a vaguely douchey guy who thinks he’s in control but doesn’t really know how to run an alliance. He’s in with Abi because they can talk shit about people together. He seems cool with Artis too but who knows because Artis is basically a fly on the wall of his season. It’s with Lisa and Skupin that Pete shows no mercy. Along with Abi, he constantly talks down to both and questions their loyalty in the game. Honestly Skupin retroactively deserves all of the shit Abi and Pete give him but I digress. As it turns out, if you do that to your allies for long enough, they’ll turn on you. Who knew? My guess would be everybody but Pete and Abi.

That’s exactly what happens at the 3rd tribal council after the merge. Abi spends most of her time tearing into Lisa for lacking loyalty as an ally, even though Lisa has never strayed from the alliance that constantly mistreats her. Meanwhile, Skupin sees all of this and decides to flip on his alliance and join Malcolm, Denise, Penner, and Carter in voting out Artis. Suddenly, Abi and Pete are at the bottom.

This betrayal brings Pete back down to Earth. He’s not shown to be salty or pissy about it, he even says “that’s what happens when you fall asleep at the wheel.” This is pulling back the curtains on a guy who was there to play the game a certain way but can recognize when he’s been had. Abi for her part, takes the betrayal a little harder.

That’s not to say that Pete doesn’t try to improve his circumstance. He recognizes that Skupin is an idiot who is trying to play the game in a “new-school” way but is really just doing things on a whim. He tries to appeal to that sense of randomness by throwing his former lover Malcolm under-the-bus. It’s a valiant last-ditch attempt but it doesn’t work. If only Pete were unable to grow facial hair, he might have had a shot at convincing Skupin.

And that’s how Pete’s game ends. At the hands of a group spear-headed by Malcolm, the guy Pete trusted too much, which included Lisa, the woman who tried to warn Pete about trusting Malcolm. Still, he would have stayed another round were it not for Abi, the woman he was keeping around as a goat, playing an idol for herself. You can see how this entire vote-out was of Pete’s on doing, he was never really good at Survivor.

That’s the fun thing about Pete. He acts so good and superior at the game but he doesn’t realize that he merely lucked into a good tribe. If Pete and Malcolm had switched spots, Pete might have been a pre-merge boot because he’s so bad at managing relationships. Instead, he rode Tandang into the merge and considered flipping on one of his tribe mates at the first vote a successful move. That’s Pete for you, always playing his role in the best way he can.

73. Alec Merlino, Survivor: David vs Goliath

One of the best things you can have going for you on Survivor is low expectations. If the bar you set going into the game is on the floor, it’s going to be really easy to surprise the audience in a positive way. With Alec, this is exactly what ended up happening.

If there’s one thing production is never going to tolerate, it’s casts openly spoiling themselves. There are people on the internet who have gotten very good at sleuthing and figuring out Survivor casts before they are officially released. That happens every season in this day and age and it was no different for the David vs Goliath cast.

The thing is, even if your name and face is known to a section of the Survivor fans online, production doesn’t want you confirming those spoilers. And that’s exactly what Alec did when he took a picture of Kara Kay and himself, captioned it, “fuck it” and then posted on Instagram for the world to see. Not a good move bro.

Production moved swiftly and harshly. According to TMZ, they took away his season stipend. He was also banned from attending the reunion. Kara, not being the person to post the picture, was not disciplined but it can be inferred she got yelled at by production too.

People have gotten scrubbed out of the show for far less. So, I assumed, like many other fans, that Alec would not be very visible on the season once it aired. It’s not exactly smart to piss off the people who have the power to give you a national audience.

So to my surprise, Alec ended up being a pretty big character on the best season in the Survivor 30s (based solely on my opinion, of course). It’s a testament to Alec as a Survivor character that he was so appealing that production couldn’t give him the purple edit we all know they desperately wanted to throw at him.

Going into the game, Alec, a professional bartender, was thrown into the Goliath tribe for… reasons unknown. With the knowledge of the broken NDA and Alec’s general disposition, I expected this guy to be a classic “douche bro” character. Instead, we got one of the most chaotic players on a chaotic season.

Until the swap, it was mostly smooth sailing for Alec. He was aligned with Kara, Angelina Keeley, Dan Rengering, John Hennigan and Natalia Azoqa. They only had to deal with voting off Jeremy Crawford because the Goliaths were a little too good at competitions for the Davids to contend with.

It’s at the swap that Alec became an interesting figure on the season. In terms of swapping, the Davids could not have gotten a worse deal. They went from two tribes to three and on every single tribe there were three Goliaths and two Davids. It’s whatever you want to call being the opposite of swap-fucked. Seeing that play out live, production had to be crapping their pants and the likelihood of a Goliath romp, the least favorable results for those producing the show.

Then, out of nowhere, Alec appeared. Bearer of the cloak of invisibility for three episodes, breaker of non-disclosure agreements, he was here to save the season. Despite swapping with Kara and Natalia, two people he had already voted with and one of whom he would eventually date after the game, (hint: it’s the one he broke his NDA with), Alec decided this was the time to make his move.

I understand why Alec decides to move on Natalia when he doesn’t. Like logically, I get it, because it’s explained. But damn, it still feels like he got very antsy to make a move when he could. It doesn’t hurt that Davie Rickenbacker and Elizabeth Olson played their cards exactly right, noticing that Alec was starting to waiver, not turning on each other, and moving in for the kill. For her part, Natalia maybe got a little too confident in her position and let that go to her head? Alec does explain his reasoning as Natalia is starting to be a little too much.

In my opinion, Davie is a bigger threat. But Natalia, she has to have it her way. So, I feel like I’m not having my opinion heard. I get the feeling that Natalia, doesn’t really trust me. Which makes working with her difficult. So… I dunno. It’s tough.

That debacle leads to this tribal council.

And the results of that tribal council…

That’s the beauty of Alec. I don’t think this was a good move for him at all. It should have backfired and led to the Goliaths collapsing earlier than they did. He got lucky that Elizabeth and Carl simply could not get along. But none of that matters. Alec is just so happy to be making this flip that he sells it. That little smile as his Natalia vote is about to be revealed is just perfect. You can feel his happiness across the screen.

Watching those two small clips is enough to remind you of how good David vs Goliath was. Especially in the pre-merge where I feel like things were more character driven. At the merge, we got a lot more strategy and it was still a fine season but man, there’s something great about contestants going home pissed off. Sure, it’s cool to see a season like Millennials vs Gen X where everyone is applauding their own boot but it’s also fun to be reminded that there are real stakes at play. Natalia’s angry exit is one such reminder.

It’s also telling that Alec was able to pull off this move, ride into the merge with Kara still in the game and receive no blowback from the other Goliaths. There must be some sort of charm that he emits in real-life that makes people unable to stay angry with him. In pulling off this Natalia vote, Alec even managed to open the lines of communication with the Davids, allowing him to pull off some more Alec double-dealings at the merge.

I see the old Goliath tribe and I’m like “oh yeah I’m with you guys, for sure.” But, you’re naïve to think going into a merge that things are going to stay David and Goliath. So, it’s like keep doing your thing and think you’re Goliath strong. I’ll jump on board with the Davids. I’ll form those connections. It’s the merge. I think we’re gonna see alliances break. I think there are just gonna be tears shed. There’s gonna be blindsides. There’s gonna be idols flushed. It’s my time to shine right now.

Which brings us to another point in time where Alec subverted expectations from the pre-game. Simply by looking at him, you might guess the types of allies Alec might try to surround himself with: the bros. He was set up spectacularly on the Goliaths with John and Dan right there to mingle with. But when push came to shove, Alec went against the expectations.

At the merge, Alec realized that he did not want this game to become tribe vs tribe. He had no interest in going down to the end with guys who could compete with him, he was more interested in muddying the waters. It was also made clear at this point that Alec’s closest Goliath allies were Alison, the normal doctor, and Mike, our gay Hollywood movie director. Then, he rallies Christian Hubicki, Gabby Pascuzzi and Nick Wilson to form a cross-tribal alliance. These are not the people I would have associated as ideal Alec allies but that speaks to Alec being much more complicated than what we expected. I love players who break out of their archetypes and Alec bursts through his.

Alec is also unintentionally responsible for the David revolution that becomes the main narrative for much of the post-merge. When the Goliaths agree to take out Christian, Alec blows the whistle to Nick, setting into motion a unified David tribe going into tribal council. Without Alec, there is a strong possibility that Christian goes much earlier than he did and the outlook on the season is probably far different.

With the Davids unified, they get together and figure out how many advantages they have as a collective. That group thinking allows them to come up with a plan to destroy Dan in the next tribal council. This does a lot of damage to the Goliath collective. What does even more damage is Alec and Kara putting their votes on Angelina amidst the chaos to avoid any kind of unexpected vote off.

That’s the death knell for the OG Goliath alliance. Angelina is very pissed off at Alec and Kara trying to survive. By this point, Alec has won a decent amount of challenges, has proven to be charming and has shown to the cast that he isn’t stupid. Translation: he’s become the biggest target in the game. This is where we get to an endurance challenge where everybody gets to walk (or stand, rather) in Jesus’s shoes.

This is one of the best challenges in Survivor history. It’s simple but effective. It becomes a question of how much a person is willing to go through to win immunity. There’s a wonderful mix of elements in this scene. We have the comedy of Christian filibustering. There’s Alec’s aggressive confidence in himself to keep himself hyped up. There’s so much emotion behind Alec’s simple plea to Christian and the latter’s response. This is a challenge driven by the personalities in the game and it shines.

There’s so much happening in just those 4 minutes, which is only the latter half of the challenge. Alec is so confident he’s going to win. He’s telling Gabby and Christian that they aren’t going to beat him. In his mind, he’s going to be there for days. Then, Christian starts beating him up with his words and the switch flips. Alec goes from the person people are pleading to, to the one doing the pleading. He can feel his game slipping away from his fingers, but he knows that Christian has got him beat.

That little moment after the competition where Alec is looking out onto the ocean; he says nothing, but that scene still says a lot. It’s like he’s looking out onto the water one last time, knowing he’s just lost his chance at surviving another round. If you had told me going into the game I was going to feel sad about an upcoming Alec boot, I would have never believed you.

It’s backed up even further with Alec thinking back on the immunity challenge the next day.

The immunity challenge yesterday was the most frustrating moment in my entire life. Cause I stepped up on that perch and I was like, “I’m not letting go of this damn thing until I win.” But, I just, mentally I couldn’t handle it. People see me as a physical threat and me standing on a perch for six hours sealed my own fate. I am the only one that people are talking about right now. It sucks! I didn’t come out here to be some unanimous vote. I didn’t come out here to have people just say, “oh, him.” It’s like, “no.” I’m not gonna give up.

Seeing that kind of desperation in a player brings you back to the real world. It’s easy to forget that the people on Survivor aren’t just characters. They have real lives too. Alec seemed so set on wanting to win Survivor and so devastated by his eventual loss that it makes you feel for him.

There’s something cheeky about Alec that is hard to describe. It’s how he delivers his confessionals (like comparing the pre-merge to pre-drinks and talking about talking to the bros and picking up women or that time he called Angelina a slime ball) and the way he reacts to things. I think it’s his smile and how devious it looks to the camera. You can tell from watching him that Alec loves the chaos.

This confessional also deserves a spotlight on its own,

When I’m bartending and I’m flirting with a girl, I’m working for the tip. Right now, Christian and Gabby are sitting across the bar, they’re the two hottest girls I’ve ever seen in my life. And I’m just putting the charm on and turning the flirt on to earn a tip and to gain their trust and I’m working for their freaking numbers right now.

Here’s a tip Sash, this is how you do the sleazy guy character correctly.

It sucks that Alec broke his NDA because this guy was a shoo-in to return. Alec is like a Jeff Probst dream. He’s strong, good-looking and charming. He’s unafraid to take big swings (regardless if he should or not). He’s willing to ally with anybody and at any time. He clearly loved playing the game and never took a single moment for granted. He could have been our new, slightly douchier, Malcolm Freberg. Instead, Alec pissed that all away with a single picture and for that reason alone, I docked him like 5 spots in his ranking.

72. Patrick Bolton, Survivor: Heroes vs Healers vs Hustlers

To truly appreciate Patrick Bolton, one needs to understand some things that production wasn’t comfortable with you knowing going into the game. Patrick knew Ali Elliott. Like, he knew her in real-life. They both went to Auburn University at the same time. They ran in the same circle of friends, though were not close themselves, and one time, he even helped her move a couch (the shock and horror!).

So, going into the game, Patrick felt like he had a built-in ally with Ali that nobody else could match. Ali felt the same way. It’s why the episodes go out of their way to show that Ali really wants to keep Patrick for as long as possible without telling us why that is. Like Patrick, she feels like he can be a very useful ally to her in the game. Any familiarity is better than no familiarity.

The problem becomes when Patrick turns out to be a living meme. He seems fairly normal for the premiere. Much of his content is focused on his relationship with Ali and we see it mostly through her lens because she’s going to become our shock pre-merge boot for the season.

It’s in his boot episode that Patrick kind of loses it and starts annoying his entire tribe. In the previous episode, he really started to annoy his tribe. Especially Lauren Rimmer who simply cannot stand him. Thanks to his bond with Ali, he still managed to survive. At that tribal council, he tells Probst that he trusts “almost everyone on this tribe” which alerts Lauren that she is not on the inside of this Hustlers crew. He only gets worse socially from here.

It’s hard to even explain Patrick’s behaviour. Like at one point, Patrick sees a rock in the water and says, “hey! Look at that octopus!” But it’s clearly a rock. This is something that doesn’t even make sense in writing but is hilarious when you watch it. The way Patrick is excited to see an octopus.

Then, in front of Ryan Ulrich, Patrick just struts off into the woods and starts looking a hidden immunity idol. He doesn’t try to play it off like he’s going to look for some firewood or anything. Just 15 yards away from their camp, Patrick starts looking around trees and is very clearly searching for that idol. Ryan is obviously flabbergasted.

I think Patrick’s searching for an idol. And, the thing about the idol, this is like Survivor 101 kind of, you don’t really search for the idol in front of everybody, cause it’s not good relationship building. It makes people paranoid.

Patrick doesn’t even try to pretend to the audience that he was trying to be stealthy,

I do have idol fever. I want the idol. Now, I mean, I’m not really hiding looking for an idol and you know, maybe that will turn around and bite me but, being a hustler, we’re always moving along. Pun intended. I have a moving company in Auburn, Alabama and the moving industry does not stop. Wheels always on the road, feet always on the ground, something always in motion. That’s why I work harder than the rest of my tribe members looking for an idol.

You have to respect the hustle in Patrick doing some advertising for his moving company on national television. If anything, he confirms his status as a Hustler.

Meanwhile, Ali is essentially shitting herself over Patrick’s brutal social game. She has a perfectly tailored ally right there on the beach with her and he’s throwing that all away by making people paranoid. It gets to the point where Ali has to drag Patrick away for a private conversation, like a teacher trying to get his student to quiet down in class.

Patrick takes Ali’s advice into consideration but also states that he might not be able to build relationships if he tones himself down because he wouldn’t be himself. To which I ask, are you currently building relationships as yourself, bud?

Then, at the immunity challenge, Patrick blows it for his tribe. In the throwing portion of the challenge, Patrick decides to take the hero role but keeps missing his mark. Lauren tries to sub in but Patrick really wants no part in that as he keeps throwing way wide of his target and eventually, the Hustlers lose. Patrick, king of the social game, only keeps getting better,

Lauren’s not happy with me. But by looking at her, I don’t think her coming in for me would have changed much.

Yikes bro, yikes. Like this dude is completely oblivious to what is going on around him, even despite Ali’s best efforts at cluing him in. Patrick lives in his own world where he is the king and I don’t think he even realizes other people might have feelings too.

Still, the plan is in motion, Lauren is going home tonight. She’s the mark. Patrick has Ali, who he knows in real life on his side. He also has the bros, Ryan and Devon Pinto. Lauren also happens to be older than everyone else and feels out of the loop with the Hustlers. This is a done deal, but Patrick is going to go talk to Lauren so that she doesn’t panic and try something crazy. The social king is on the move.

P: Good?

L: I’m as good as I can get I guess. ‘Bout you?

P: I feel terrible.

L: Feel terrible?

P: Yeah. Freaking. Couldn’t knock any of those freaking blocks down.

L: Well, we kept saying we’d switch out, we kept saying, you know we could tell you’re tired and… I played outfield for 25 years. Ali kept saying that. But you act like we weren’t even there. It’s like a one-man team there for a little while. I’m assuming y’all gonna vote me out tonight.

P: I don’t know if that’s right.

L: So, if it’s not me, who is it then? You got someone else in mind? Cause I can look at you and tell you, you got me in mind.

P: Yeah but, I don’t know…

L: Yeah but what?

P: I mean, I don’t, I don’t wanna go home.

L: Redheads don’t do very well at lying. So, you costing us the win is voting me out today. That makes no sense whatsoever.

As Lauren is telling Patrick she knows he’s voting her out, Patrick is actually smiling in her face. He could not be more obvious if he tried. And this conversation was supposed to soothe Lauren into inaction? Naturally, following that conversation, Lauren gets to work in saving her own ass. Patrick’s mind is just too powerful.

There’s a great confessional from Devon in this episode where he talks about Patrick choking in the challenge versus Lauren’s steadiness. That is interspliced with a shot of Patrick trying to break a branch against a tree by throwing it and failing twice in a row. It never fails to make me laugh. By this point, Patrick is getting the Stephen Fishbach “wimpy non-leader” edit.

At tribal council, Lauren just rips into Patrick through and through. She calls him out for hogging the throwing time in the challenge. She calls him out for looking for idols out in the open. She calls him out for smiling at her when he’s basically confirming that she is next to go. She drops the iconic quote, “I’ve never believed a redhead a day in my life!” She comes for Patrick’s wig as some might say.

And her attack on Patrick ends up being successful, Patrick is voted out and it doesn’t go well.

Side note: Lauren owns these 2:30 minutes. Her voting confessional is so good. That little hand motion that Lauren does when Patrick is storming off, like, “this damn dude”, gets me every time I watch this vote out. Lauren has such a way of saying and doing the best things and making them very natural.

It hurts more for Patrick knowing the full story. It’s one thing to be betrayed by Devon and Ryan, he barely knows those guys. Getting Ali’s knife in his back had to hurt a lot more. He put a lot of trust into a relationship he knew from before the game and she voted against him too.

I’m not saying Ali was in the wrong. Patrick was a total trainwreck socially and he would have sunk her game if she stayed on his side. Cutting him pre-merge was ideal if Ali was ever going to do it. I can just understand the emotions that come from Patrick being blindsided by someone he actually knew. That hurts a lot more than getting it from people he met only 9 days ago.

In terms of early boots, Patrick is one of the best there is. He’s totally unhinged. He’s bad at the game and he’s not self-aware. Those are the best kind of characters for me on Survivor. Seeing Patrick realize that he’s not in with the Hustlers like he thought he was is great television. He does more in one boot episode than 90% of the cast of Ghost Island does for an entire season (not all their fault, editing plays a huge part). For that, he deserves to memorialized for years to come.

71. Jenn Brown, Survivor: Worlds Apart

This is my theory: Jenn Brown is a Rorschach test. How you feel about her says more about yourself than it does about Jenn.

It’s safe to say that Worlds Apart is not the most popular season of Survivor. It’s going to do fairly well in this rank down because it has a lot of memorable characters, but we can safely say that being a good character does not make you a good person. In fact, many of the good characters on that season are not good people.

Enter Jenn Brown, a loud but laidback young woman thrown onto the no collar tribe. She is excited to be on Survivor and ready for the adventure of a lifetime! This is going to be such a fun ride with a bunch of new and exciting people! Look at how much optimism she had early in the game,

No Collar is a wonderful little community that’s happening right now. Everything’s going great. We’re meshing and flowing smoother than hot butter.

And then… she really finds out who she’s been cast with. To me, Jenn represents how production thinks that the audience was going to react to her season. Her hatred of the majority alliance is how sane people feel about them. They were mostly unlikable (sorry Carolyn, you got to shine earlier in this piece, now you get to be the villain).

Jenn is an otherwise normal person trapped on an island with a bunch of crazy people. She has Hali Ford by her side and eventually Shirin Oskooi. Other than Mike Holloway, everyone around her turns out to be either crazy, unlikable or against Jenn’s ideal path in the game.

Her first encounter with Worlds Apart’s insanity is with Vince Sly, the creepy-ass shaman. He has fallen in love with her. This series of confessionals can tell the tale,

Jenn: The guy with the feathers, right off the bat he pulls me aside and tells me he thinks we have a kindred spirit. “I liked your smile. I want to go to the end with you.” He’s everything that I expected him to be… and more, maybe.

Vince: One of my greatest weaknesses is my intense attraction to women. Jenn brought an element of herself here and so did I. And I want to play with somebody that’s like that. When I want something, I get it.

Jenn: He’s playing this game a little harder than I would have seen coming out of those feathers. And I’m thinking, is it worth it to play, uh, whatever he thinks I am to him? But right now it’s worth it to have allies. To have people on your side. So, smile and nod is my approach with Vince right now.

Somewhere out there, Dan Spilo is wishing Vince had gotten cast alongside him on Island of the Idols. It might have taken some heat off of him.

As Vince says, his biggest weakness is his attraction to women (and apparently not the fact that he’s extremely creepy and socially awkward) and it’s going to do him in on Survivor. When Jenn starts talking about Joe Anglim, Vince gets jealous of the younger, fitter, generally better version of himself. He wants to really “feel Jenn out” (again, Dan is shaking his head) to get to know her.

Vince’s jealousy leads to a great confessional from Jenn,

I think Vince is jealous. One of the first things out of his mouth is, “So, do you think Joe is attractive?” What?! He’s obviously got these little puppy dog feelings that apparently he had for me hurt. But I know how to handle him, though. I think.

Then, in the second episode, Jenn learns that she’s also going to have to deal with Nina Poersch. Nina is upset that Hali and Jenn have not included her in their plans thus far in the game. Jenn, queen of confessionals that she is, has another great response to that,

I’m on this amazing high, going skinny dipping with my friend. Get back, and Nina is crying. And angry, and calling us mean girls for not including her, and I was like, “Are you serious?” Like, “Get it together, Nina! You’re crying on Day 4!” I guess she’s used to people coddling her a little more, but you don’t do that in this game. You got to have a little thicker skin than that, you know. So, I guess Nina is someone we’re gonna kinda have to baby a little bit ‘til… ’til we don’t have to anymore.

At the No-Collar beach, they eventually win chickens. The tribe decides to kill one of them so they can have some protein for once. Being a vegetarian, Jenn decides to walk away from the camp as to not see the chicken murder (she was ahead of her time, Sia would only appear in the 30s). In one of the most unlikely ways to find an idol, Jenn stumbles upon the hidden immunity idol while she is away from camp and the chicken.

This is like a dream come true. I did it. I have a Hidden Immunity Idol. This is amazing. I think if I was on the Blue or the White Collar tribe I would be worried because in most seasons of Survivor it’s our people, it’s the No Collars that stir things up and mess up the game. And I can screw up the game so easily with this thing. I guess killing the chicken kind of worked out for me. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Eventually, Jenn swaps onto a new tribe that features Max and Shirin. They become Jenn’s newest people to have to deal with. This time, it’s Max and Shirin annoying the crap out of everyone with their Survivor trivia.

Who is more annoying? Max or Shirin? It’s exactly like a horse race. “Is it Shirin? No, here comes Max with his foot wart. Oh but here comes Shirin with her little annoying whatever is about Survivor. Oh, but here’s Max again. Who’s going to get voted out tonight? Who’s the most annoying?” I don’t know! We’ll see! We’ll find out tonight at Tribal!

Find out next time… on Dragon Ball Z! (It was Max. Max was voted out).

Finally, Jenn makes the merge and she has to contend with her worse nemesis yet… the Blue-Collar alliance (and Will who has been annoying her since the beginning of the game). These guys are so annoying to Jenn that it helps fix the broken relationship she has with Shirin. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, no truer is that statement than on Survivor.

It becomes clear that Blue-Collar and White-Collar are going to work together, leaving Joe, Hali, Shirin and Jenn on the outs. But Jenn has an idol and is willing to use it if she feels like she needs to.

This is one of the best moments in Worlds Apart. It’s also probably the season’s best episode. The genuine glee Hali and Jenn have when those Jenn votes keep coming up, contrasted with the sour faces on that majority alliance… it gives me life. Anytime Dan is staring into the camera like he’s just had his soul stolen, it makes me smile a little more.

I knew they were going to vote for me so I played my idol. Then Kelly went home. Joe, Hali, Shirin and I were stoked, just stoked. And the rest of the tribe was, like, mouth open, like, shocked and sad, “Oh, poor Kelly!” Who gives a (expletive censor)? I thought it was great. The No Collars are back in town, and we’re ready to win. I love to mess with the other alliance. I believe there’s still fun to be had, a little things to screw up for everyone else. I mean, I want to, like, mess with things while I can because it provides me with entertainment.

Of course, this is incorrect, and Jenn should have known better. They just took Kelly based on an idol play but the game remained 6–4 in favor of the bad guys. Jenn was riding high off a cool move and in the moment, she lost track of where the game was headed, and it would cost her Hali, her best friend in the game.

When Hali goes, half of Jenn’s heart goes with her. You can see the light in Jenn’s eyes leave her body and she’s just over it. She doesn’t try to sugar-coat things. She’s stuck on an island with a bunch of unlikable people (and Joe, Shirin and Mike) and she knows that her days are numbered. She’s just sick of the bullshit and having to live around people who do their best to make her life as bad as it can be.

Like Rodney, deciding to kill a chicken unilaterally because he is hungry. Jenn has been caring for the chickens and they’ve become her closest friends in the game. It’s not like Jenn wouldn’t have allowed Rodney to kill a chicken for sustenance but it’s the fact that he doesn’t even ask her. He knows that Jenn cares about the chickens, but he just goes out and kills one without even letting her know. Because Rodney is a douchebag.

It becomes such an untenable situation for Jenn that she starts to actively plot her own demise. Outside of Tyson voting himself out on Heroes vs Villains, this is a Survivor first. Jenn declares that if she wins the next immunity challenge, she’s giving the necklace to Joe. She’s so done with these people that she is doing everything in her power to get voted out. She hates these guys so much that a million dollars isn’t even worth it for her anymore.

But she doesn’t win the next immunity challenge and neither does Joe. Being Joey Amazing, he takes the hit instead of Jenn. At this point, she goes past the point of being over it to wanting to stick around just to make everyone’s life as hard as possible, kind of like they’ve been doing to her.

That becomes doubly true when Will goes off on Shirin for reasons that still aren’t clear to most. He crosses the line by getting very personal and obviously upsetting Shirin on a human level. There are only two people who stand up for Shirin. Mike, the beloved hero of Worlds Apart, and Jenn, who hates everyone else and doesn’t want to see a human being treated like shit over a game.

While everyone is losing their mind over Mike’s attempt at betrayal at the Survivor auction, Jenn is casually playing around with her hair, disinterested as can be towards anything that isn’t her gigantic bowl of liquor.

Unfortunately, Mike wins another immunity challenge and that spells the end of the road for Jenn. She doesn’t go down without leaving some remarks about the cast in her final words. Once again, Jenn plays her role as the audience surrogate excellently.

A lot of people suck super hard. Will seemed to be a nice person but he’s kind of shattered now. Sierra, I don’t know, she just sucks. I hated Rodney, but I really hate Mama C, the same way I hate Dan. They’re just fake and it kills me. But I can’t really wait to watch the rest of this tribe destroy each other and I just hope they’re not on the jury anytime soon, so I don’t have to see their faces.

Then at the end, Jenn gets to make her jury speech.

Once again: Audience. Surrogate. People were so mad at being beaten by Mike. They couldn’t get him to lose an immunity challenge and he did what he needed to do to win. This speech was especially necessary for people like Rodney and Dan who were either going to vote for Will or considering it. Jenn was fired up on that night because she was right, this cast was bitter and they were mostly crappy people. And she let them know.

Jenn is so unique in Survivor. She was so happy to be in the game and when she realized what she was really dealing with, that happiness faded. There was no hiding that she was done with the show. Her anger at the cast is so raw and needed on a season where a lot of crummy people get a lot of attention. She stood up for what she felt was right and in doing so, she became a very memorable character that I won’t forget for a very long time.

There it is, that’s the entry for today. Check back later this week for another update as we forge into the 60s.