Top 100 Survivor Characters of the Decade: #90–86

The Trojan Horse Arrives

Before we continue down our path towards Survivor’s best Survivor character of the decade, allow me a quick digression.

Over the weekend, it was announced that Rudy Boesch, a Survivor OG from Borneo, passed away. I would like to take a minute to honor Rudy’s memory and the service he rendered us as fans of this show that, as this list is proof, has gone on for two decades.

I would not be making this list if it weren’t for Rudy. Survivor as a show would never have gotten 28+ million viewers per episode if it weren’t for Rudy. For all the talk about Richard as the show’s first winner, and yes, he was perfect for that role, Rudy was the draw of Survivor: Borneo.

For a genre called “reality television”, a lot of it came come off as staged or surreal. Rudy was never either of those things. He was authentically Rudy for every second he appeared on Survivor. He made us laugh. He gave us touching moments with Richard, where Rudy learned to grow even in his old age. He was as real as it got, and it translated very well into our living rooms.

It’s truly saddening to hear that Rudy is no longer with us, but he lived one hell of a life. So many people will go their whole lives without taking a risk. Maybe out of fear or anxiety. Rudy took so many risks. To think that he retired from the military and somehow became a national celebrity at 72, well after retirement, well that’s just something only Rudy could do. And in a way, Rudy will live on for eternity thanks to Survivor and we will always remember him for the funny, genuine and touching man he could be.

My thoughts are with his friends, family and anyone who ever truly knew him. After giving us so many great moments on this earth, Rudy gets to spend eternity with his wife, Marge, whom he loved most of all. RIP Rudy, you’re a legend and we will miss you. Thanks for the memories.

Thank you for allowing me that quick aside. Now I’ll remind you of my criteria and we will keep going on our journey to the top spot.

• The most important thing to note is that this is all subjective and done by myself. No doubt many readers will see people miss the top 100 and will feel like I have slighted a character. These are simply my opinions on who the top 100 is, it’s my personal list that I’ve been curating for well over 4 months, and I completely understand that you can disagree. I look forward to healthy disagreement as I reveal this list.
• A player’s entire history is considered in their rankings. For example, I won’t be looking solely at Malcolm Freberg’s Philippines appearance, his Caramoan and Game Changers games are part of the whole product.
• This list will only include Survivors who debuted between 2010 and 2019. That means players who have played prior to that won’t be included even if they participated in a season that fits out parameters (IE: the entire cast of HvV).
• Sadly, as it is still playing out, I can’t fairly incorporate out Island of the Idols cast into my rankings. That means I will have to leave them out entirely. With that said, there’s no doubt that Noura would have cracked the top 20 (probably the top 10) if she sustains this run she has been on. Likewise, players like Missy, Jason, Elaine and even Dean would also have had a shot at making the top 100. I sadly don’t have the time to put this thing together if it means having to wait for this season to end.
• I am ranking these Survivors as characters. Not as strategists or game players. I am solely trying to determine who I believe were the most entertaining characters of the last decade.

With all of that out of the way, I present you numbers 90 through 86 in A Tribe of One’s Top 100 Characters of the Decade countdown.

90. Laura Boneham, Survivor: Blood vs Water

This is technically cheating but Survivor itself did what I’m about to do. Laura Boneham is a Trojan horse. If her husband wasn’t who he was, she wouldn’t be on this list and she would have never played Survivor. If her husband wasn’t who he was, I wouldn’t be writing about her. It’s got to be a little sad to be constantly in your husband’s shadow, but Laura had to know what was ahead when she married the guy. Laura Boneham is Rupert’s wife, and that fact alone got her on Survivor and this list.

It’s not like Laura is this fantastic character all on her own, though she does have her moments independent of Rupert, which we will make sure to mention. But to know that this is the almighty Rupert’s wife? It adds a couple of notches to her background.

I’ve always thought that Blood vs Water as a concept was invented as a way to get Rupert back on a season of Survivor. Maybe he felt like he had played enough and wouldn’t go back unless they allowed Laura to play too. It just seems to me like if anybody was tailormade for this twist, it was Rupert and his familial sense of loyalty.

Well, before she ever debuted as a contestant, Laura had already made two appearances on the show. As a loved one. Both times, Probst had to act as a mediator to make sure Rupert and Laura wouldn’t start making adult videos on CBS’s dime. On Blood vs Water, it was finally Laura’s time to shine.

I cannot stress this enough: Survivor has had like 600 contestants and to me, nobody has ever felt more out of place than Laura has on BvW. Part of that is just Laura’s general awkwardness. In many ways, it’s easy to see how they fell in love because Laura is the female Rupert, albeit with a much lower-key demeanor.

But a much larger why Laura feels so out of place is because of BvW’s opening twist. If you don’t remember, both tribes had to immediately vote off a member of their team on the opening mat. The returning players chose Candice, because she was a last-minute replacement for RC and her father, and the loved ones tribe chose Laura.

It was an easy choice for them to make. Look at that tribe, it’s an incredibly physically fit tribe and Laura sticks out in that sense. Even without that, it doesn’t take a genius to think that taking a shot at Laura would also weaken the other tribe but rendering Rupert both angry and sad. It just happened to be a bonus that Probst would then give the voted player’s loved ones a chance to swap places with them.

Of course, Rupert was going to make that switch. If we know one thing about Rupert, it’s that he’s committed to the bit. The theme is pirates? Well, Rupert is going to steal some shoes because that’s why pirates do. You want some Heroes vs Villains? Rupert is going to be the biggest hero on that beach, nobody is virtuous like him. So, when you have a Blood vs Water theme, there’s no doubt that Rupert is going to show everyone that he loves his family the most.

Not to say that Rupert didn’t take Laura’s place out of genuine love. It’s clear that Rupert loves Laura more than anything in the world. It’s just a nice bonus that in taking her place, Rupert is also validating the season’s theme right off the jump. It’s no wonder production will bring back Rupert any chance they get, he will go to great lengths to give them what they need.

With the switch, Laura ends up on a tribe with a bunch of returning players. Suddenly, this meek woman is on a tribe with people who have played this game before, many of whom know each other, and she sticks out like a sore thumb. It’s even worse because in gaining Laura, they lose Rupert and regardless how you feel about Rupert’s Survivor competency, no one would argue that trade is an upgrade.

But you know what? Maybe some of Rupert’s Survivor skills are translatable because outside of being socially awkward (which Rupert undoubtedly is), Laura proves to be pretty useful at camp. She catches fish and is good with the coconut preparations. In challenges, she’s surprisingly strong and holds her own, much like how her husband surprised everybody his first time out by being such a beast.

No doubt, Laura’s shining moment comes on a post-swap Galang tribe. It’s the episode titled “Swoop in for the Kill” and in this episode, Laura is going to prove how much like her husband she happens to be. She is currently on a tribe with Monica, Tina, Katie and Vytas. Laura is starting to settle into her game because she believes that she’s found an alliance among the women, but she does feel bad for Vytas for being the odd man out.

Vytas, he’s a wonderful man that can share his emotions and his feelings. And I’ve learned a lot from Vytas. Just being more open to people. Coming into this game, one of my insecurities has been my social game. I was raised on a farm, and I’m kind of a quiet girl that’s slowly coming out of my shell and I’m becoming more at peace with where I am in the game. So that’s why I love Vytas. But I’ve got to keep my heart out of it, because he is a threat and I’m willing to stick with the girls if that is what the consensus is. Y’know, I will do what needs to be done to further my game.

This demonstrates typical Boneham obliviousness. Rupert is too honorable to partake in pre-game alliances, he probably doesn’t even know they are a thing. As such, Laura would have also been left out of the loop. Tina has a little less trouble bending the rules to suit her own game and in the process, came into the game with a strong alliance that included herself and Katie and the Baskauskas brothers, Aras and Vytas.

So while Laura thinks Vytas is on the chopping block and that she’s found a strong women’s alliance to play the game with, the decision would actually come down between Monica and Laura. Between those two, Laura stood out as an obvious choice.

Of course, this isn’t how things play out on the episode itself. Survivor doesn’t like to broadcast pre-game alliances because they wisely believe a good portion of the audience would be turned off by such an idea. Instead, the show presented it as Laura giving herself enough rope to hang herself with.

After Galang lost the immunity challenge, Laura felt even worse for Vytas. In her Boneham-esque way of thinking, Laura decided Vytas needed to be told he was next. In front of the entire tribe. Because that is the honorable thing to do and that’s how Rupert would want it.

Unfortunately, somebody has to go home. Vytas is the odd man out. I don’t think backstabbing and sending someone to Tribal Council not knowing what’s happening is a nice thing. It’s just eating me alive, so I just came out. And it was really hard for me, but I feel like I did take the bull by the horns by taking more of a leadership position in the tribe. It may put a target on my back, but hopefully I’ll get some respect out of it and the women will look up to me a little.

Vytas was never going anywhere and by pulling that move, Laura made sure that Monica would be sticking around ahead of her. This was a few levels of strategy above Laura’s head and her vote out catches her by surprise. I’m always especially tickled by her confessional at redemption island in the next episode.

• Day 18. They wrote down Laura B. and here I am. It’s a hugely horrible non-strategic move to get rid of me and keep Vytas. I think it’s ridiculous! I don’t freaking get it. I don’t get it. I think it’s a huge mistake for those girls to leave Vytas in the game. The merge could be, y’know, tomorrow! And here’s Vytas joining his brother, joining all those guys. They’re gonna take out the girls! It’s ridiculous! Ridiculous.

The irony being that her vote off was the strategic decision because Vytas was part of Tina and Katie’s core alliance. That Laura spent considerable time with all three of them and never picked up on that fact is proof positive, she has a carbon copy of Rupert’s strategic mind.

Laura then loses the next challenge (where the other Laura returns to the game) and that’s the end of her game. In playing the game so much like her husband, Laura deserves recognition. If Sarah Lacina is Tony Vlachos without any of the charisma, the same could be said of Laura and Rupert.

So yeah, Laura was a Trojan horse so that I could talk about Rupert without having Rupert eligible for this list and that will anger some of you. I feel that but at the same time, I’m not sorry about it. On her own, I feel like Laura deserves some shine for being so willing to play the game that made her husband a national celebrity. She had nowhere to go but down compared to him and given the cards she was dealt, I think Laura did as well as could have been hoped.

89. Hali Ford, Survivor: World’s Apart & Survivor: Game Changers

Hali is somebody who doesn’t necessarily attract onto herself but manages to shine regardless. I think a lot of Hali’s appeal is that in a season like World’s. Apart, where most of the contestants were unlikable, she stands apart by being a very nice and kind player. It’s not everybody that goes onto Survivor that manages to keep their spirits up, the game can get to a lot of people but for Hali, she never let it bring her down.

A lot of Hali’s appeal is that she doesn’t let other people’s behaviour change the way she operates in the game. When Dead Fish Will was so vicious towards Shirin, Hali was one of the few people to stand up for her. In a game of social adaptation, she didn’t let the potential million dollars distract her from being a nice person.

Hali is also an eternal optimist trapped with a bunch of soul-sucking negative nancies. Most of the World’s Apart cast doesn’t know how to have fun. Like when Hali (and Mike Holloway) name the merge tribe Merica. Hali is so excited to birth that name,

so, I love our tribe name so much ‘cause I’m going to be a criminal defense attorney, and, as a criminal defense attorney, you are part of the Constitution. And I just think that like, the Constitution is the greatest blueprint for government that was ever devised. And I really believe in it. It’s like a religion of America.

But then on the other end of the spectrum, you have Shirin, who hates the idea of Survivor being anything but a strategic game based on numbers and moves,

oh, my goodness. We have the worst tribe name in Survivor history. We didn’t go for America, we dropped the “A” and went for Merica. Like a bunch of redneck idiots who don’t know what our own country’s name is. I’m horrified and embarrassed. And Mr. Texas himself, Mike, is so proud of this name. I think even Sarah Palin – all kinds of crazy crap comes out of her mouth, right? I have never heard that woman call America… Merica!

Sure, it’s just a matter in difference of opinion but it goes a long way in showing the different attitude Hali had compared to some of her tribe mates. It’s easy to see why the audience latched onto Hali, who is not that major of a character, when compared to some of her other castaways.

The other big appeal with Hali, at least for me, is her ability to give a solid confessional. Some people are just naturally funny and the way that Hali uses her words almost always make me laugh. Out of the entire World’s Apart cast, I think she is the most naturally herself in front of the camera and it plays very well.

Even just her opening confessional and the way she presents herself is perfectly Hali,

When people hear that I’m in law school, they probably assume that I’m a corporate, dog-eat-dog girl. But that’s not who I am. I’m in it for the poor, broken-down people. I’m not anarchy, I’m… I’m, (does a rainbow hand sign you can probably picture) the greater good.

Or how about the way Hali describes how she feels about surfing,

Body surfing was such a good idea. Like surfing is probably my number three passion in life. So when she pulled that out, I was like, “Yeah, girl. I’m right with you.”

My favorite Hali moment in World’s Apart, is when she takes down Max Dawson for being well, too Max-like.

So Max sticks both of his feet in our drinking water pot. It’s been like an hour they’re soaking and then he lifts his foot up. He’s got a plantar’s wart the size of a quarter in our drinking water. I’m like, “Max, warts are contagious. That’s disgusting.” Anyone who would stick their warty feet in the tribe’s drinking water for hours when we’re thirsty has his mind on one person, himself, and his stingray feet. It was disgusting!

On the surface, these comments aren’t that funny. It’s just the way Hali delivers these confessionals that make me laugh. Hali is this young, attractive woman but she’s also kind of weird in her own way. That makes her feel very genuine.

Hali isn’t just good at giving confessionals, she’s also quick with a quip when called upon at tribal council. Like the time she schooled Dan on history while also delivering a good zinger.

It helps that a lot of the comedy in World’s Apart comes from people you’re not supposed to like. We all laugh at Dan, but he’s obviously not meant to be likable. Then you have Rodney being Rodney and while he’s also weird and funny, I can see how he can be unlikable. Vince is also this weirdo but he’s way too creepy to be enjoyable.

Above the fray, you have Hali (and to be fair, also tribe mate Jenn Brown). She’s a perfectly nice girl who happens to be a little quirky. It plays well against the likes of people mentioned above. She brings a lot of levity and light in a season that is far darker than production would have probably liked.

And then she comes back for Survivor: Game Changers and she has a similar role, she’s likable and funny in confessionals. She also displays some strategic chops when it comes to the game, especially in the post-swap.

At that point, Hali has fallen on a tribe with her fellow Mana tribe member Caleb Reynolds and 4 original Nuku members. Among those 4 players, there is Tai Trang, Caleb’s closest ally from their former season, Kaoh Rong. The assumption here is that Tai will want to save Caleb over Hali and if Mana loses a challenge, she will be the next to go.

The rest of the Nukus felt more like getting rid of Caleb because of that Tai connection, but Tai pushed hard to keep him around. At tribal council, Hali put on an impressive display, using Caleb’s own words against him and making it an easy sell for Nuku to keep her over Caleb. It was a good display of wit from someone we don’t really think of as a big player on the show and a reminder that smart people are naturally dangerous on Survivor.

She has a few other great moments on Game Changers. In the wild Malcolm boot episode, Hali has the classic “I do not consent” when the tribes are ready to vote but she hasn’t finished talking it out. Her “you may regret it” when they proceed to vote certainly rings through for Malcolm once the votes are read. Or the thought she offered to strip down to her birthday suit (maybe Shirin and Max rubbed off on her more than she would like) at tribal to prove she didn’t have an idol.

It’s kind of quirky that on both times she played, Hali ended up being the first juror. For someone who loves law, it feels almost fitting that Hali would be in that position on both occasions. I feel like above any player in Survivor history, she would relish being a juror any time she played.

There’s an entire other element to Hali’s Survivor career that deserves a quick mention. In the Ponderosa videos, she’s a delight. Easily one of the best Survivors on both of her seasons (kind of like the opposite of RC’s terrible performance in the Philippines Ponderosa videos) and they should be watched if only for her.

88. Lisa Whelchel, Survivor: Philippines

We live in a world where Lisa Whelchel was named America’s Favorite player over Malcolm Freberg, in what is easily Malcolm’s best appearance on the show. That has never felt right to me. I didn’t like Lisa while watching the season live and I’m still not a very big fan of her in the current day.

With that said, Lisa is a favorite of many’s (obviously) and she played a pivotal role in the Philippines, which easily remains in my top 3 post HvV seasons. Leaving her out of this list entirely purely based on my own dislike would have been unfair. And so, Lisa lands here, at #88 and I will do my best to give her a positive write-up.

Lisa lands on Tandang to start off Philippines. In one way, this is good for her because it means avoiding the mess that became Matsing. In another, it wasn’t great because she still got caught up in a mess. This one was called Tandang. They are a dominant tribe in challenges but in terms of camp life, they might have been more dysfunctional than Matsing.

On Tandang, Lisa understands her role. She is the sane one. Lisa can watch Abi-Maria and RC get into fights and Pete do whatever Pete does and just absorb it. She worries about her tribe because she genuinely cares for them, and because it benefits her as an older woman to have some drama at camp. Since Tandang doesn’t lose an immunity challenge in the pre-merge, Lisa is able to get to the merge without any worries.

Before Tandang merges, they absorb Malcolm from the remains of the Matsing tribe. Lisa likes Malcolm because unlike the rest of the young people on her tribe, he is respectful and polite. This creates a bond between the two, especially during the merge, after Lisa unintentionally stumbles upon Malcom’s idol hidden among his clothes. Malcolm realizes what happens and whether they wanted to align or not, Lisa’s knowledge of his idol pushes them together.

The post-merge is where Lisa’s story takes over the season’s narrative. She’s gotten into an alliance with a certain disgraced Survivor. As Tandang collapses around her, this pair becomes an attractive option for the sides that are starting to emerge from the wreckage. Lisa starts to realize that she could have a lot of power in the game, but it conflicts with her morality.

In real-life, Lisa is an actress. A successful actress who has been in the business since she was a child. She has the reputation as a moral, good person. Lisa is a Survivor fan who understands how the game works, but she soon realizes that the betrayal aspect of the show is something she may not be able to do.

Much of the post-merge is centered around Lisa’s moral compass. She can see that Malcolm is the top contender. After struggling through Matsing, he’s gained a lot of power from Tandang and Malakal taking swings at each other. He’s got Denise in a tightly locked alliance. If nobody takes a shot at Malcolm, he’s going to win the game.

But Lisa also really likes Malcolm. They have a very motherly relationship and it’s clear to me that Lisa isn’t lying about how much she likes Malcolm. The devil on her shoulder is telling her she needs to cut Malcolm to win the game. The angel on her shoulder is telling her she needs to stay morally vigilant and keep him around out of loyalty.

That duality is the main storyline of Philippines’ post-merge. If you re-watch the season, you’ll notice how much time is devoted to Lisa’s quandary. To the point where some people (myself included) might say that it becomes annoying to watch. Every episode has some variation of “I need to flip on Malcolm before it’s too late, but I don’t know if I can get myself to do it.” It gets to be very grating.

But I said this write-up would be positive and I need to be fair to Lisa. She’s not putting on an act on Survivor. She’s genuinely a caring and empathetic person and she’s been that way her entire life. Now, this game of Survivor is asking her to rewire how she acts to succeed. That kind of change doesn’t happen overnight, and it makes sense that she spends so much time waffling.

It’s not like Lisa decided she was going to make this the main focal point of her season. Production saw a theme and ran with it. They were the ones asking questions in confessionals to produce this wishy-washy attitude that Lisa is portrayed with. She just happened to be juggling some very heavy feelings and the editors saw a storyline there.

We should also mention that sometimes, Lisa is not the reason she keeps needing to go back to the same well. For example, at the final 6, Malcolm is immune but Lisa is ready to take a swing on his ally. She approaches Penner about a final 4 involving both of their pairs (Lisa, Penner, Carter and Poopin’). Instead of accepting this offer, Penner has the asinine reaction of telling Lisa to wait before they finalize a deal. Understandably, Lisa is sketched out by Penner and immediately goes to Malcolm and Denise instead.

Ultimately, Lisa does realize she has to pull the trigger. She almost misses her timing altogether, because Malcolm wins the final 6 and final 5 immunity challenges. Unfortunately for him, his shaky hands cost him the one he needed the most, and with four people left in the game, Malcolm is vulnerable.

Lisa realizes that she needs to strike against Malcolm or it’ll never happen. She’s finally on board to get him out but her idiotic partner thinks he can beat anyone in the final three, including Malcolm. Lisa pushes hard on this and manages to get her way. Finally, Lisa is going to pull the trigger and at Malcom’s last tribal council, Lisa plunges the dagger into his heart.

This is real character growth from Lisa. She goes from unable to think about betraying Malcolm to becoming the cause of his demise in the game. Lisa is finally able to accept that she can’t physically be morally good 24/7, 365 and that sometimes, she’s going to have to act out of self-interest. Sure, it would have been nice to see more badass Lisa and less repetitiveness, but it took Lisa a lot of time to get to this moment and that’s on a human level.

Of course, by that point, it’s already too late for the jury. Lisa’s indecision has turned off most of them and they are not willing to award her the win. Still, Lisa can say that she made it to the end on Survivor, juggled her ethical concerns as well as possible and came out of it with some personal growth. In terms of the “moms with a growth arc” archetype, Lisa is one of the best.

Lisa is also a very religious person. To the point where it governs a lot of her life decisions. Despite that, Lisa doesn’t ever impose that religion onto others. It’s an interesting comparison when you look at Coach and his strategy in South Pacific versus how Lisa behaves throughout Philippines. In a lot of ways, the things that Coach preaches as his mantra for the Upolu tribe are the things Lisa uses as a guiding point to live her life. Maybe Lisa is more Coach-like than Coach himself could ever hope to be.

That comfort in her own religion might also be why Lisa is able to handle Abi so calmly. Abi-Maria is vile to most of her tribe mates in the Philippines. I would say that she is especially mean to Lisa, who Abi perceives as traitorous (even though Lisa was probably Abi’s most loyal ally outside of Pete). Through Abi’s tantrums, Lisa somehow manages to never lose her cool while still demand that Abi accords her the respect a normal person might give her. It’s honestly impressive the way Lisa handles the Brazilian Dragon.

In terms of moments, Lisa has two very big ones that stand-out to almost every Survivor fan. The first one, is a scene that she shares with Penner. It is a scene in which Penner tries to use his connection with Lisa as actors to further his own Survivor game. In a franchise that has gotten increasingly Meta, Penner’s plea to Lisa is one of the earliest moments in which I remember the 4th wall being destroyed.

I’m like a storyteller, that’s what I do, you know? Survivor is a big story. What’s the story that’s going to be told this season? Who are the good guys and who are the bad guys? Who are the underdogs? Who is the audience going to be rooting for? What does the audience want to have happen?

The audience is going to watch you, and they’re going to say, she’s being loyal, to the people that she’s been loyal to all along, and that is a wonderful thing. But they are not going to be happy that you are helping these three guys go further. And I’m not going to try to get you and Skupin to come over to my side, but I hope that you and Skupin do the right thing and tell a better story.

Listen, I don’t want to get in your head, I’m not trying to, I’m just talking, this is just my perspective on story. And you’re in the thick of it. You might be the fulcrum character.

This moment is more of a Penner moment than a Lisa moment, she happens to be the recipient of Penner’s spiel. But it’s impactful on Lisa’s storyline because Penner accurately describes Lisa’s post-merge game until the final four. It’s also a way of getting to throw in some Penner on a list where he won’t have the chance to appear himself, much like Laura being a vehicle for some Rupert talk.

The other scene is at the family visit and is mostly remembered for the general cringiness of it all. Lisa’s loved one is Justice, her brother. If that wasn’t clear to you when he arrives, it’ll be made pretty obvious because Lisa and Justice will spend the rest of their shared screen time awkwardly referring to themselves as “BROTHER!” and “SISTER!” There are a lot of touching loved one’s reunions, I would not say this one qualifies.

Some credit needs to be given to Justice for Lisa’s eventual flip. He is able to help persuade her to make a move on Malcolm. Lisa says that Justice’s visit was a helpful reminder that while she liked Malcolm, he wasn’t her real family and it reminded her why she was playing Survivor in the first place… to win it for them. So, thanks for that BROTHER.

87. Stephanie Johnson, Survivor: Ghost Island

At its core, Survivor is a show that likes to keep its viewers somewhat in the dark. In an ideal world, the editors would be able to create doubt over an episode’s booted player 100% of the time. If the show became too predictable, we’d stop watching.

Sometimes, a boot is so predictable that there isn’t anything the show can do to try to hide it. That’s created some situations like the Roger Sexton episode in Survivor: Amazon or the magnum opus that is the Drew Christie book in Survivor: San Juan del Sur. Those are episodes in which the boot is telegraphed and we spend our time finding out why the boot will be happening.

In both of those cases, the players are portrayed negatively. Rare are the episodes in which the person obviously going home will be shown in a positive fashion (the only other one I can think of is Astronaut Dan in Survivor: Panama and that one is over the top). That’s why Stephanie’s boot episode alone is enough to make her crack this list.

Ghost Island has serious issues in its editing. It’s a very top-heavy season that crawls to a predictable final three. But it’s pre-merge? There are some glorious episodes and the Stephanie Johnson boot is a masterpiece in contextualizing how it feels to be hopeless on Survivor.

Survivor is at its best when it can make you feel genuine emotion. I don’t watch this show for the strategy. I watch it for the people, their stories and how they handle being left out in the wild. It’s why those early seasons are so dear to a lot of people, not because we got to see some crazy vote splits with idols played, but because we got to know the people so well.

Before we even get to Stephanie’s boot, we get to see her in action on Malolo. Stephanie has an incredibly strong premiere. She is a key cog in making Stephanie Gonzales the season’s first boot. In the second half of the premiere, she comes off as a stone-cold killer when she gets information out of Jacob by appealing to his desperation and then tossing his carcass aside when she was done with him.

It really seemed like Stephanie was gearing up for a long run on the show as one of the season’s most important characters. Then one of the least fun Survivor tropes kicked in: the early swap, destroyer of logical storylines and murderer of countless potentially legendary characters. This time it knocked on the door for Stephanie and unfortunately, she answered the call.

In Stephanie’s boot episode, the editors do an amazing job of making us feel her desperation. She’s gone from being in the numbers on Malolo, to a bad swap where she is now in a 5–4 minority. We know the narrative for Naviti during that season was a steadfast “Naviti strong” and that sentiment was echoed most loudly by Kellyn and Bradley, both of whom happened to be swapped with Stephanie.

Told in no uncertain terms that Naviti will not be cracking, Stephanie has to grapple with knowing she will be voted out sooner rather than later. Then, she has the misfortune of drawing the wrong rock and being sent to Ghost Island. That’s enough of a reason for the Naviti majority to target Stephanie, because Ghost Island might give her some powers, and from there, it’s just the raw emotion of a Survivor players coming to terms with her mortality in the game.

This write-up isn’t too long because it’s hard to put into words how Stephanie’s exit from the game made me feel. The sadness in the face of hope is tough to bear. Hope is not a strategy but it’s all Stephanie had left by the end of the game. Just watch Stephanie being voted off to see what I mean. The editing in this moment: the music, the reaction shots, the pacing; everything is on point. It’s why Stephanie Johnson makes this list and why I can never fully pan Ghost Island, that pre-merge packed a lot of punch.

86. Reynold Toepfer, Survivor: Caramoan

Quick pop quiz: which is the bigger number, 4 or 6? If you answered 6, congratulations, you got the answer correct! If you picked four, you’re probably Reynold Toepfer.

The fans tribe on Caramoan is lackluster in terms of memorability. There’s that dude whose beard was meant to be his personality who now hosts a mediocre podcast with Jonny Fairplay. There are women named Hope, Allie and Laura who had no more than cameo appearances on their own season. There was also Julia who is better known for her successful NASCAR career and getting slammed by Cochran in a confessional. There was a guy named Michael Snow who is more offensively known as “Corinne’s gay,” which is both insulting to him and more proof that Corinne sucks. Shamar was good for a little while for being such a big dude for being such a whiny baby. I already covered Eddie in the honorable mentions.

That leaves Sherri, whom we can get to later, and the carnival king, Reynold. He comes into the game with the confident swagger of a used car salesman who lies about the number of sexual partners he’s had in his lifetime. This guy exudes douche energy and to start the game, he kind of proves it.

Reynold is the ring leader of the cool kids’ alliance that comes together. It includes Eddie, Allie and Hope, along with Reynold and they are going to take over their tribe. Except that Caramoan starts with two tribes of 10 players and the other six not invited in the alliance quickly notice what is happening around them.

My favorite part in Reynold explaining his alliance is why he chose to approach Allie,

I think it was serendipitous that I got paired with Allie in the challenge. I knew that the guys would want to pair up with me. I knew that that was going to happen naturally and that there was no pressure for that. But what I needed instantly right away was I needed to be someone who’s not obvious. And I think she’s a none obvious choice.

Okay Reynold, like nobody on Survivor would ever expect an alpha-male to pair up with an attractive blonde girl. You were definitely on some fourth dimensional thinking there my man.

In the most predictable uprising in Survivor history, Sherri unites the misfit fans into a ragtag voting bloc that sends Allie home and shocks Reynold and co. I’m still not sure how they are surprised to find out the rest of their tribe didn’t just sit around and accept their fate but I’m not on Reynold’s level of intelligence.

This may sound like I hate Reynold but I don’t. The sliminess he displays is the right amount for me. Much of his pre-merge focus is on getting Shamar out of the game. Between those two, it’s very clear to me that Reynold is the person we should be rooting for.

Besides, Reynold continuously getting duped by Sherri and her gang of forgettable alliance partners is funny. It’s like Charlie Brown and the football. Every time, Reynold thinks he finally has a way to get Shamar out of the game, every time, the football gets yanked away at the last minute. And when Shamar finally does go, it’s by his own hand, which means that Reynold doesn’t even get the satisfaction of finally getting him out.

Despite being Sherri’s most obvious antagonist, she can’t get Reynold out early. He may be in the minority at the fan’s tribe, but they also can’t afford to cut him because he is carrying his entire team in challenges. In that time, he also finds two idols.

That buys Reynold enough time to escape Sherri’s thumb. He swaps into a dominant tribe that includes Malcolm, which is where the groundwork for the 3 Amigos is laid and Reynold rides that winning momentum into the merge.

This is another great example of how much Survivor likability is situational. In the beginning, Reynold was portrayed as a douche because of the bravado in thinking he had control of his tribe. By the time he gets to the merge, Reynold is fully aware that he’s in the minority and suddenly, he becomes a spunky underdog.

The merge dynamics of Caramoan are simple. It’s the people who are accepted into the Stealth R Us crew (Phillip, Cochran, Andrea, Brenda, Dawn, Sherri) versus the others (Eddie, Malcolm, Reynold, Corinne, Michael) competing to get Erik on their side to win the majority. Erik eventually sides with Phillip’s people, putting the 3 Amigos right at the bottom of the totem pole.

Reynold then also has the “hold up Reynold” moment with Malcolm that was officially Mandela effect’ed into becoming the “hold up bro” moment. It’s here that Reynold flushes a second idol down the drain, proving that while he may be good at finding idols, Reynold wasn’t very good at playing them.

At this point, Reynold has spent most of the game getting humbled. You would think it would make him quieter but if there’s one thing about Reynold, this guy doesn’t quit. With Malcolm having two idols and Reynold winning an immunity challenge, the 3 Amigos are finally ready to make a splash. Reynold has spent the season getting blindsided and he’s about to get back at everyone.

Now, to be clear, history has told us that Malcolm probably misplayed this round of play. He probably didn’t need to actually play both of his idols and in naming Phillip specifically, he took some big risks. With all that said, this is a legendary tribal council and the birth of the “live” tribal council era. Reynold, Eddie and Malcolm are so proud of their move here and it’s infectious.

Which can be said about a lot of Reynold’s game. You can debate how many “fans” were on the fans’ tribe. You can’t argue that Reynold isn’t have a ton of fun playing Survivor. On a tribe that is full of depressing characters, his presence really carries a lot of the early work on the fans tribe. I can’t imagine what we would have done if Reynold wasn’t there to annoy Sherri and her crew.

After the 3 Amigos tribal council, Malcolm and Reynold get picked off back-to-back because they have no more protection left. Reynold never gives up but those episodes are fairly predictable in that we know they were done going in.

In a very bitter jury, Reynold has the best question or comment out of any of them. He’s not angry like most of his cast and his question to Dawn is meant to make her laugh and pump her a little bit, since Dawn spent most of that final tribal council getting blasted to smithereens. It showed a different side of Reynold, one that can take a loss with a smile and appreciate being outplayed. It went a long towards making him legitimately likable for a large portion of the audience.

Is Reynold perfect? No, he has plenty of flaws. I do think that because Caramoan is so heavily disliked among the fan base that he has become something of an underrated character. Fans will often turn on a person who gets a lot of airtime because they feel like that person is being force fed to us. In Reynold’s case, he was the person who had the most skill in front of the camera and his positioning meant that he was always going to be a target. It’s hard to say that he shouldn’t have gotten the attention that he did.

Personally, Caramoan is not a season I dislike. I wouldn’t have it near the top of my list but I also found it to be enjoyable. Reynold is a big part of why and his portrayal as an alpha guy who thinks he’s on top but keeps getting screwed at every opportunity is something of a rare case on Survivor. It was a fun ride while it lasted.

So there you have it, we are officially into the 80s! We will just have to keep chugging along until we get to that top spot.

As always, hit me up on Twitter with your opinions, including how cheap I was to use Laura as an excuse to talk about Rupert and about how much you hate Caramoan.

Later on this week, we get to numbers 85 through 80. Until then, so long!