I can breathe again…
Or, what it felt like to vote out Donald Trump.
I woke up this morning with a weight off my chest. For months I have been falling. I have been depressed to the point of not being able to get out of bed. I have been scared and sad and lost. Even just last week when I had a bunch of great job interviews and tons of Poshmark sales, I still felt hopeless and empty. But all of that has changed on Saturday when Joe Biden was elected the 46th President of the United States and Kamala Harris became the first woman and POC to hold the Office of the Vice President.
Four years ago I was convinced that Hilary Clinton would be the next president of the United States. It was inconceivable to me that someone like Donald Trump with his garish ignorance and insensitivity would beat out rhyme and reason. After his election, we entered into one of the darkest periods in recent history where it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Racism, xenophobia, sexism, and homophobia became normalized and almost encouraged by the man holding the highest office in the land. The second coming of the civil rights movement unfolded before our eyes and it became harder and harder to believe that facts would defeat the wave of propaganda that has been sweeping our nation.
This whole year I thought the election would be just another feather in the cap of 2020. Why would anything good happen after everything this year has thrown at us? While I did not sit back idly and accept defeat, I didn’t really think we would be able to reclaim the White House. What was even scarier was the thought of the damage four more years of the Trump Administration would do. I truly believe that his reelection would mean Civil War. I did my part to try and get Joe Biden elected by writing postcards to the swing state of Michigan to encourage people to vote and I am proud to say Michigan went blue in this election.
Tuesday came and went with little information and as last week dragged on the dread in my body spread. If it was this close, there’s no way we’d win. After 4 years of the just egregious behavior from Donald Trump, we were still seeing how infected our country is. After a summer of demanding equality and racial justice, the message hadn’t seemed to get through to half the country. Every hour was a new opportunity for Trump to tweet how the election was being stolen from him and I know enough now to understand how truly dangerous it is when he makes such claims.
I remember walking to work the day after the 2016 election. It was grey and overcast. Maybe it was even raining. I didn’t even feel safe. Like someone could grab me at any moment because the President-Elect had said it was okay. It is such a stark contrast to this past Saturday when we retook this country. It was sunny and warm. People were laughing and dancing in the streets. People were crying with happiness. These kinds of nationwide demonstrations haven’t been seen since the end of World War II.
Something that hadn’t even occurred to me was just how much the election of Kamala Harris would mean to me. I was so narrowly focused on getting Trump out of office, that the thought of how momentous it would be to elect this woman to the office hadn’t crossed my mind. Four years ago Hilary Clinton said, “To all the little girls watching, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world.” Women everywhere (well not the white women who voted for Trump, but the rest) had to dry our eyes and pick ourselves up and try and move forward. This weekend we shattered the glass ceiling. For me as a privileged white woman, it means everything to see Kamala Harris standing on that stage. I can’t even comprehend what it means to women of color.
I stand here today, so fucking grateful that this presidency is behind us. I know the damage he’s done is going to take so much work, but I know that electing Joe Biden as the next President is the only way we were going to be able to start doing the work to heal this country. The only thing Trump was capable of doing was breeding hatred and false information.
I kind of thought that once Trump was defeated that the haze his supporters seem to be in may begin to lift, but not the case. I have personally witnessed my bigoted family on Facebook double down on their support of him. I am not sure how the liberal left got the reputation for being “cupcakes” or “snowflakes”. Have you seen a Trump supporter not get their way? They throw themselves on the floor like a petulant 5-year-old and scream. They take to Facebook to post monologues about how Trump has never gotten a fair shake or the election was rigged. It really puts the fear of God in me because I share genetics with some of these people. How did their values get so screwed up? How did mine not? It’s scary.
Moving forward I think it is important that I try to stop holding so much hatred in my heart. Donald Trump will not serve another term. We have elected someone to office that has the experience, stability, and compassion to address this pandemic. We have elected someone who will put this country first. Who will try and begin the healing process we need. Trump is behind us (or will be when January comes). The only way he wins is if we keep talking about him. Let this be a new chapter for ourselves and our country. We can finally breathe.
