Us Too

Or a pledge to never stop talking about this

As you’ve read all week, it’s happened to all of us. Women around the world are under attack. The beautiful thing is that in light of the #MeToo movement, women are speaking up. We are no longer accepting this as part of our lives. We are done with the toxic workplaces, the boys-will-be-boys mentality, the catcalling, the inappropriate comments, the harassment, and most importantly the assault. For today’s newsletter, we continue our conversation on the #MeToo movement by reflecting upon our piece from earlier in the week and mainly, since Friday’s are our SWL: People, we’ve each selected a woman or women who have spoken up about their experience and said no more.

Sydney’s Stance with Ashley Judd and the victims of Harvey Weinstein

Ashley Judd was the first Hollywood star to speak out against Harvey Weinstein, a story we are now all so familiar with. Over several decades Weinstein used his power and influence to harass and assault young actresses, threatening their careers if they spoke out. Judd’s statement regarding the harassment she faced from Weinstein in 1997 catapulted Hollywood into a reckoning and ultimately led to the conviction of Weinstein for his crimes.

More than 90 women came forward with similar stories to Judd’s, many of them household names, but more of them are women we don’t know. It’s easy to imagine that these women were penalized for rejecting Weinstein and had their careers shattered because of it. How many of them would also have become household names if they had complied with Weinstein or, better yet, if he just hadn’t existed at all?

Ashley Judd named Weinstein as her abuser in a 2017 interview. Later that year she marched in Washington with over 400,000 and performed a slam poem by Nina Donovan of Franklin, Tennessee. In 2018, Judd filed a defamation and sexual harassment lawsuit against Weinstein. In 2019, a federal judge in California dismissed Judd’s claim of sexual harassment.

Women are still being victimized and penalized in the Time’s Up and #MeToo eras. With the help and support of Judd and many other women and Hollywood, work is being done to make Hollywood not just a safer environment for actresses, but a space where they can excel and be recognized for their exceptional contributions to Hollywood.

Shelby’s Apology and Girl Crush

I’ve reconsidered my piece from Tuesday. Well, sorta. I still totally enjoy the male gaze and my Gemini and Leo self just love attention as I’m cruising around in my convertible looking hot as hell. That being said, I’ve thought more about my piece and want to make some additions. First and foremost, just because I, at times, enjoy the attention of men and women alike does not make catcalling okay. Ever. Period. I want to make clear that I am, by no means, encouraging everyone to start catcalling because women enjoy it. That’s just me. I also enjoy talking about sixteenth-century sexuality and sodomy, so I’m a little odd.

My ladies here have shared some incredible intimate details of their lives, both good and bad, and I mainly wanted to apologize to them if they felt that I brushed off our week’s topic. And to any readers that thought that, I’m sorry too. What I was trying to say in that piece was two-fold. I never give men the power they want — after all, that’s all the men that catcall is seeking, a reaction and that power over you. That, and more importantly, I will always use my confidence and further instigation to protect you all from those creepy dudes on the street. They do not scare me and if they scare you, I fucking get it and you have nothing to be ashamed about. I will be your battering ram. I will throw their bullshit back in their ugly faces and absorb their stupid notes and critiques. You want us to smile? Go fuck yourself, then I’ll smile. Ladies, I am here for you. I truly don’t know how to stress that enough but I will use my confidence, my academic brain, and my physical body (huge tits included) to continue to tear down the patriarchy.

There are many, many more women who can far better than I articulate their feminist wisdom for the world and the first one that comes to mind is the ever-gorgeous, Emma Watson. Dear God, why are you so great? I have an insane and out of control girl crush on this woman. Like many, my knowledge and love for her obviously stemmed from the Harry Potter franchise, and I adore her in Little Women, Beauty and the Beast, and Perks of Being a Wallflower (even though her acting, I feel, is less than ideal in this one). But she’s also an amazing activist? She’s a spokesperson for the app Good On You, a first step in terms of online shopping to see which brands are ethical or not. She’s also given tremendous speeches on behalf of women and gender equality (turns out she’s a UN Women’s Goodwill Ambassador which, of course she is).

Kayla’s Space for Reflection and Acceptance

The theme for this week at ATF was #MeToo, and although I personally knew it was something I wanted to write about, I didn’t imagine it would be as difficult as it was. My experience in high school was something I always wanted to share with people but never quite knew how to do it. As soon as I started writing for ATF I knew that it was a piece I wanted to do and honestly it has been a huge help in the healing process.

Until you start reflecting on past instances, you never truly are able to get over them. In my case, I bottled everything up for ten years and just pushed it to the back of my mind. It wasn’t until I started writing my story that I realized that it wasn’t just the assault that caused me pain; it was the way other females treated me after it happened. It is hard enough when men don’t believe you, but when you are being judged by other women, it just makes things much more difficult. After this week, though, I have realized how wonderful it is to be surrounded by some amazing women who aren’t afraid to speak their truth and show support for other women.

I believe the momentum behind the Me Too Movement has also allowed women to feel like they have a platform to share their experiences and speak up. We aren’t in the 19th century anymore when women had no power and no voice. I feel that so much of the momentum behind this movement has to do with celebrity involvement. More and more often I hear stories of celebrities fighting for women’s rights by speaking out against sexual assault and sexism. Just recently, I watched the Netflix documentary Athlete A, and it should definitely be added to your Watch List if you haven’t seen it already. Athlete A tells the story of USA gymnastics and the case against Larry Nassar. Nassar is the former USA Gymnastics national team doctor who was found guilty on multiple counts of sexual abuse. He was accused of assaulting at least 250 girls starting in 1992 including Olympians Simone Biles, McKayla Maroney, Aly Raisman, and Gabby Douglas. Sexual assault is now openly being talked about, and by encouraging women to come forward and share their stories, we can teach future generations that the behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

Just like Biles and her fellow Olympic athletes, there are dozens of other celebrities that I can name off the top of my head that have become very vocal about women’s rights. One celebrity in particular, Jameela Jamil, has really stood out to me because DAYUM, she just tells it like it is. Honestly, I wish I had the platform and confidence she does. She is not afraid to call people out for bullshit and expose the horrible hypocrisy in society. One thing I absolutely love is that she always calls the Kardashians out for promoting those crazy diet pills. Not gonna lie, I definitely keep up with the Kardashians, but I cannot stand when they do advertising for diet pills. Seriously, we all know they each have a personal trainer, private chef, and ten employees in charge of making sure they always look good. Jamil is not afraid to call them out and tell young girls that things like diet pills, fad diets, etc., just don’t work! She also has an Instagram page @i_weigh, where she brings up issues like #MeToo, racism, eating disorders, and poverty.

So while it seriously sucks that we had to spend an entire week talking about our experiences with sexual harassment and assault, I think the positive take-away is this movement is allowing women to feel more comfortable sharing their stories and it is paving the way for a more equal future.

Aimée’s List of Positive Influences

This week…was tough. Writing for ATF has been really fun for me these past few months, but writing my Me Too piece had me feeling all kinds of ways. I initially proposed something a bit heavier and more negative for today’s collab piece, but I’m so grateful Shelby suggested going this route. That’s why she’s our fearless leader!

And with that, here’s a list of incredible women I want to spotlight and/or thank:

Shelby Lueders — for creating this lovely platform for my words, Sydney and Kayla’s words, and the words of many other fabulous writers to come; for being a shining light in some otherwise dull/annoying grad classes; for inspiring me with her confidence, wit, and beauty; and for not letting our long distance friendship fizzle out.

Katie Lynch — for validating my words when I didn’t even realize how much I needed validation; for being the person I did literally everything with for ~3 years; for sticking out our friendship until I became “woke” (lol); and for being a woman in medicine, especially now.

Nicole Byer — for speaking openly and unabashedly about sex, dating, mental health, friendship, queerness, racism, body image, fame, and more; for using her different platforms to elevate the voices of women, LGBTQ+ folks, BIPOCs, and others; and for never ceasing to bring joy to my life.

Reese Witherspoon — for generating SO much valuable work for female writers, actresses, and other creatives; for putting out quality content that is for, by, and about women; and for being THE Elle Woods.

There’s so many, many more, but I think I’ll keep the list short and sweet today. I also do want to say, in light of everything we’ve been writing all week about women/females, that we are not trans-exclusionary here at ATF. Regrettably, in my tired state, I cannot think of a transwoman that I know enough about to spotlight today, but I also really don’t want any potential trans readers to feel unseen. The existence of transwomen does not invalidate our shared feminine identity; rather, they are fully a part of that identity.

Lastly, I just want to thank all of our readers (yes, even the male ones!) for going on this journey with us this week. We all stepped outside of our comfort zones and got pretty damn vulnerable, and I know I’m grateful y’all stood by us the whole time. I hope our week of writing inspired by the Me Too Movement will in turn inspire you in some way — whether that’s to share a story of your own, to change your outlook on the way you perceive women’s stories, or to check out the work of one of the awesome celebs we discussed today.