It’s OK to Say Bad Words

But it’s never OK to disrespect yourself

Or anyone else.

We can thank the Puritans for making sure that every darn thing we do in life is in one of two categories:

Holy or Profane.

That’s right. Everything.

The most honest and charitable man in the county can sit back with a glass of wine while playing solitaire and letting the sounds of Bob Dylan stimulate his mind, and sure enough the Puritan comes along and tells him he’s unwittingly committed three sins. Yea, three. He’s got the Devil’s drink, playing the Devil’s game, listening to the Devil’s music.

He’s in for one hell of a sermon on Sunday. And I do mean “hell”. I’m not cursing there.

*Not all result are typical to the ones listed above.

But let me stop there for a minute, because if I was cursing, would it matter? I’m afraid that there is a simple reason that “youngsters these days” and even us grown ups don’t abide by the rules we all know and claim should be adhered too. They just seem so…arbitrary.

Sure the proverbial slippery slope exists, but is it the cause of everyone’s downfall? Are we led to believe that the little white lie leads to the grand off-white lie? Maybe, and in many cases I’m sure it has. But on the other hand, the kindest man I know just asked me to join him in a monthly poker game with real money and beer. For shame. He’s obviously going to be the guy that sells his daughter’s only pair of shoes for one more throw at the craps table, right? Maybe.

Even worse than the slippery slope argument is the general “because right is right and wrong is wrong” argument. Why? Because. Because why? Because. Now don’t be a rebel.

Right and wrong have to stem from societal agreement on the value of an activity or its detriment to the doer and those around him. Society gets that agreement from experience and reason. Many of these rules are self-evident and even ordained by a higher rational power.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to change our view point on how we determine right and what is wrong in a society. What if we focused less on the object of our actions and focused more on the person of our actions? A good rule of thumb might be…

It is not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of him that defiles him.

My little guys learn new bad words all the time. ALL the time. As a dad, my reaction is to say, “NO! That’s a bad word.” But what I really want for them to learn in life is how not to defile the people around them and how not to defile themselves. I want them to learn about what is in their hearts, how they view people they interact with and how they view themselves.

Stupid is not a bad word. I want to know, however, if my boy thinks it’s OK to call his brother stupid. Does he view him as a lesser person? If he were intellectually below his brother, is he willing to help him? Will he support him? Will he grow up thinking that the politician on the other side is just an idiot with no valid opinions? Will he wish someone would just “shoot” the moron president?

Honestly, we both know that a solid “f” word sometimes just fits. Am I right or wrong? Be real.

However, I want my children to learn to respect themselves enough that they don’t drop that bomb in front of a lady or their boss. Save it for when your transmission breaks and there’s no good way to describe the way that mother ******* car has been acting lately.

Dance, but don’t be the fool. Love, but don’t be cheap. Play, but don’t sacrifice your value. Enjoy, but don’t lose your dignity.

All things are ours, and they should be enjoyed. Infinitely more valuable than the actions we take, however, are the lives around us that we affect, d**n it.