The Happiness of Being Transient
Seeing everything we have and want as a passing cloud
Everything fades.
Nothing is permanent.
These both sound like warnings. The pessimistic prophecies hailing a nihilistic future tell us to beware loss. Be aware of the day that you won’t have what you have. Release yourself from want because moth and rust will corrupt it anyway.
Thieves break in and steal.
Pessimism.
Vapor.
Have you ever lost something and the reminder that loss was coming anyway gave you comfort?
Have you ever craved something and the warning that satisfaction was only temporary gave you relief?
Have you ever had something and the threat of loss released you from consumption?
Most likely no. Why?
Because the problem with the things we possess (people, relationships, children, assets, money, material goods) isn’t how we view their permanence. We know they won’t be there forever. Our problem is not knowing how to experience them now.
We are consumed with ownership, holding on to things tightly and expecting something from them. I have this problem in the kitchen. Foods generally don’t cook in 3–5 minutes. They need to simmer. Flavors need to unite. Heat needs to change the nature of the ingredients. In my kitchen, all things must be done in 3–5 minutes so the heat goes to high, the pot gets stirred, the food manipulated. Hurry up and become what you need to become. Rush. Force.
The flavor is in the time. The tenderness is in the process. I need my kids to turn out this way. The car has to operate at this level. The relationship must grow at this pace. The career must take only these turns.
However, if we treated everything we owned and wanted like a cloud, we would change our experience. We don’t always need a recollection of the temporary nature but a greater emphasis on how to deal with that nature. When we know something is temporary we squeeze tighter, making loss, fear, anxiety, stress and mourning even stronger.
A cloud has two properties that are similar to the things in our lives.
It is present but intangible. It can be experienced but not held.
So, how can we treat everything like this transient cloud.
Stop grasping to hold on to the cloud.
My kids are not mine. They are growing, changing, leaving. The more I force a result, the less I enjoy them. The less we enjoy each other. My job is not mine. We could be laid off tomorrow. I’d like the promotion, it may come. It may pass north of me. My dining table is nice. One chair broke recently. It has some good years ahead of it, but with four sons, maybe not. The relationship is wonderful, but she’s not mine. The friendship may change because he’s moving away.
This may sound the same as the earlier pessimism, but it’s not. It begins with seeing the cloud as a cloud and not a collectable commodity. It’s a cloud. So what can you do with a cloud? There’s a big difference between temporary and intangible. Temporary begets greed. Intangible begets experience.
Experience the conditions in the cloud
You can watch clouds, walk through fog, smell mist, hear and feel the wind bringing them in and taking them out. If we could see our possessions like this, we’d enjoy them more. We have less anger or fear. Experience whatever it is we have as it’s passing around us.
Time and chance happen to us all and we miss the experience in the preparation and the remembrance.
This has taken me lots of meditation even in the very moment of stress. Step outside the emotion that causes me to grasp, to control. Breathe in everything the cloud is whether it’s the tall cumulonimbus or the delicate cirrus. We have no control. It’s not ours to take, keep or give away.
We are simply inside the movement.
Our “things” are not temporary. They are transient. We needn’t grasp with greed. Instead, experience the movements.
