Time Management: Mindful Postponement
Does this sound familiar?
“By the end of this weekend I want to have completed A, B, C and D. They are all sizeable tasks. And of course I’ll need to do the shopping, spend time with my family, catch up on that Netflix series… ok, so based on previous experience, I know it’s unlikely that I will achieve A, B, C and D. But that’s because normally I’m lazy. This weekend will be different! I’ll knuckle down! I’ll focus!”
When planning my time and making demands of myself I fight a constant battle over what’s realistic. I’m always over-ambitious and I always try to convince myself that those unrealistic hopes are achievable.
But this year, instead of thinking about what’s realistic, I’m trying to reframe that in terms of what’s reasonable. The difference is subtle, but “realistic” is a very functional term, whereas “reasonable” is skewed more towards humanity and kindness.
I’m trying to be kind to myself. I’m trying to acknowledge my need for rest. I’m trying to admit my own human frailty. And this is where we come to the title of the piece: mindful postponement.
Could I achieve all that this weekend? Yes, if I go like a bat out of hell. Is that task there really a one-hour job, or is it more like three hours? Do I have three hours to spare? When will I eat? When will I sleep? What about my family? When do I get to just chill out?
OK. So realistically I’m not going to achieve all that. By the end of the weekend I may have completed A and B, but C and D are likely to fall by the wayside. There are two ways I can arrive at that outcome:
- Deliberately, mindfully.
- Resentfully and with a feeling of crushing failure.
Most of the time for a lot of us, the things we wanted to achieve? Nope. Not done. This is a normal experience. It’s annoying, but we cope. We make our apologies and excuses, we postpone things, we cancel things. Eventually some items which seemed crucial just fall off the list, and are forgotten.
So why not do all of that on purpose, instead of by accident?
“There’s a limit to how much I can achieve this weekend. If I’m honest with myself, these tasks are more time consuming than I want them to be. I need some rest. I need to be kind to myself. There’s no point pretending I’m a super human. C and D, and maybe also B, will have to be postponed to another time. And if that means they never get done, so be it.”
People familiar with work management practices such as SCRUM, agile and kanban may recognise some fundamental principles here: Be honest about what’s possible. Don’t make unrealistic promises. Learn the ability to make realistic predictions about how long things will take.
All of this is surprisingly difficult when the client and stakeholder are yourself. But just as teams are more relaxed and effective when they set reasonable targets for themselves, the same is true for individuals.
I’d rather be happy, rested and feel a sense of purpose for having achieved some realistic, reasonable targets. Instead of in the same place, having achieved the same amount, but feeling rubbish about it.
