Men and Women (Day 96)
Having your household grow with a new family member (especially with a little one as our baby Otto) takes some adjusting to from everyone. Somehow, new division of labor happens whether you want it or no.
I believe I’m doing a good job taking care of our baby boy. He seems well-rested; he is regularly changed out of wet and dirty diapers; God knows he is fed plenty (anytime he wishes); I play with him every day; we talk a lot to each other with one of us making his cooing sounds. Having him smile as much as he does reassures me of that.
His daddy is also amazing with him. They play, he takes care of him when he’s at home. I have a feeling they’re already creating this beautiful bond that will benefit (or already is) them both in life.
We did both try and take other people’s advice to ignore the messy house for a few months and just enjoy our time with Otto. And as I can say we truly are enjoying the time we have together, as we don’t have a maid, someone has to take care of basic cleaning.
I chose to write about this because today it was the first time I noticed a notion from my husband that surprised me. I don’t know if he said such stuff before and I’m just noticing now, but it really bugged me. I wanted to get things straight so there’s no confusion.
We talked about things that need to be done, and in those cases, I usually become goal-oriented, listing things to do and discussing the best (and most economical) ways of doing them. When the list went on and on, my husband proclaimed that I should acknowledge all the things that he’s picked up and done things around the house to help me with the household while I’m so preoccupied with Otto.
What bugged me in that particular moment was the word “help”. It bugged me because this word, in the sense that was used, implies that things like doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. are my tasks in our household and he’s just temporarily stepping in and “helping” while I’m incapacitated.
The thing is that I knew he’d agree with me that our marriage is as good as it is because we both view it as a partnership. So we discussed the fact that there is no helping one another with any of the things that concern our family and our home. The chores are for both of us and we equally decide who does what and when.
What could have been an argument has finished with us agreeing that the use of “help” was ill-placed. He successfully reassured me that there is no misunderstanding. I just love that about us — it’s like we speak each other’s language for the majority of times.
Motherhood in numbers:
- exercise: none
- shower: one, with hair washed
- diapers changed: four
