I just got fired, and I couldn’t be happier
Imagine that the first thing you see in the morning when you check your phone is a notification that you have been logged out of all company accounts and your services are no longer needed.
This was a job I had picked up on the side; my main source of income was OK, but it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. This other job was as a Copywriter, something I had been trying to get into for the longest time. However, considering the time commitment required, finding a decent opportunity was truly difficult. I wasn’t ready to leave my main job, but I just needed that one chance.
And I got it.
The opportunity came so out of the blue, like a manifestation becoming a reality right before my eyes. It was just February, and I had already ticked off one major item from my yearly resolutions.
I got to the interview, and we instantly clicked. They needed me immediately, and I was ready to deliver. But one thing stood in the way: They didn’t like me having another job.
Which, OK, that’s pretty reasonable.
I couldn’t leave my other job, though. It was my biggest source of income, and I was in a tight financial situation due to my dad’s medical bills.
So I swore I could do it. I committed to managing my time, deleted my social media accounts, and worked 12 hours a day nonstop (sometimes including weekends) for the first month.
At the moment, I was also training for a half-marathon, and my cat was going through a rebellious phase every night, so I barely had any sleep.
So much was going on in my life that I question now how I even lasted a month (did I mention my dad had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety?).
If I left my other job, I was promised a raise.
In their words, “they wanted me for themselves.”
Now, this wasn’t because my skills were anything close to groundbreaking or professional, but because they were desperate to find someone willing to take the job with the offered pay (It was considerably lower than what the market offers).
I explained I wouldn’t be able to quit since my dad’s condition had gone downhill, and I honestly needed both jobs to sustain all the expenses, which they graciously understood.
They made sure to warn me:
“Are you sure you can do both things? It can be exciting at first, but then it becomes harder and more exhausting.”
Of course I can! I just need to rearrange my entire schedule and it will work fine! 12 hours of work a day? Easy peasy.
Well, it wasn’t easy at all, and I found myself incredibly miserable, moody, and tired all the time.
I was underperforming in all areas of my life, with my training, main job, and secondary job. I was physically and mentally drained.
I understood then that being busy all the time didn’t inherently mean I was being productive, and my days felt shorter and shorter with no clear goal in my mind anymore.
I told my mom I was tired and reconsidering having two jobs, but I was dead-set on not quitting. I didn’t want to disappoint them, especially since they were very clear about having a previous sour experience with a Copywriter, and I was still 100% trying to make it work.
That is until I woke up to a termination email today.
I’m not going to lie, I shed a few hot tears.
So many things went through my head. Disappointment, disbelief, anger.
But one thing shone brighter than all of those.
I was incredibly relieved.
And seriously, I feel horrible that I let them down. Looking back, it seemed like such a good opportunity to follow my passion, and I didn’t want to let it go.
But you know, real people were affected by my actions, and ultimately, I’m the only one at fault for losing this job.
On the other hand, I can’t help but think about everything I can do now. With more time and energy, I can focus on pursuing my projects and not let anyone down this time.
I thought about how I wasn’t even learning from the job I was doing. I didn’t have a chance to sit back, look over my texts, and feel proud of what I was producing. If that’s how I planned to build a new career, I was destined to fall from grace.
This was a lesson I had to learn, unfortunately, at the expense of disappointing people (Did I mention I’m so so sorry?).
But seriously, I’m already thinking of the nap I’m going to take after finishing my shift.
