The Abyss: Passion

‘What is that phenomenon?

Where did it go?

The place we are seeking

We shall never know’

Adam couldn’t believe his eyes. “No, no, no, it's all wrong. All these graphs are just plain wrong!” he grumbled under his breath, taking off his glasses to wipe them on his coat sleeve. Biting his tongue to keep from swearing in the workplace, Adam erased the functions he’d previously formulated from the computer screen.

Adam pulled a tiny book out his pocket. The book was a sight in itself; faded pages, yellowed at the hinge, with tons of papers falling out every time it was disturbed. But Adam loved it. Despite all the development in technology, he’d always felt as though his brightest ideas came to mind when he had a pen in hand and a notebook to scribble on. It was easier to make something out of something tangible, which was ironic, considering his situation.

He had just begun to strike out and revamp his equation when the familiar tunes blared out the intercom. “Adam Evernever to Richard, please.”

Adam sighed. What did his supervisor want now?

“Calm down, honey.” His mom smiled, running a hand over his forehead. She always looked the same. The same white nightgown, the same frozen smile. The same dead look in her eyes.

“It’s alright,” she crooned, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re my brave little boy.”

Adam smiled softly, before lifting himself off the chair, readjusting the flaps of his lab coat, tightening the buttons that had come undone, before making his way towards Richard’s room. He knocked on the door, twice, before entering. “You called?”

Richard, an unassuming old man with a round face and a special love for crosswords, looked up from his daily and smiled warmly. “Hi, yes, yes, there’s been a bit of a problem, really.”

“Has there?”

“Yes,” Richard laughed nervously. “There’ve been complaints on missing equipment for months now, and…”

Adam waited, and on receiving no reply, enquired “And?”

“And,” Richard fumbled with his hands, “It seems Garett from Analytics saw you returning after hours last Sunday night?”

Adam looked back at him with a straight face. A forced one. “And?”

“And,” Richard sighed, “As expected, on all nights you made a late entry, the equipment has gone missing and the cameras have been overrun.”

Adam’s left pinky twitched. “That’s a harsh allegation to make isn’t it?”

Richard didn’t frown, but the corners of his lips turned down slightly. “Yes,” he sighed “But there’s too much of a coincidence here. And, off the record, some um people have been complaining about you talking to yourself.”

“I don’t talk to myself,” Adam growled.

Richard looked him over sadly. With pity. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, son. I’m sorry.”

“There has been no proof. None!” Adam protested, but on seeing no change in Richard’s expression, he fumed. “If that’s all, I’ll turn in my ID and passes. You can send me this month’s paycheck by mail.” With this, he stalked out of the room.

To every observer, the very air around Adam crackled with tension. He threw his coat off mid-walk, pushing his way past the glass doors into his office, and began stuffing his journals and reports into his laptop bag.

“Hey,” he heard his mom say. “Don’t be like that.”

For the first time in years, Adam was not soothed by her presence.

“Stop frowning, you big baby.”

Adam turned to glare at her. No one tells you how weird it is to argue with a face that always smiles. “Don’t you see what this means?” he exclaimed, grabbing at the tips of his hair and yanking at them in frustration. “How do I research; how do I fund this? How do I find you? Everyone tells me you’re gone, but I know you’re not. I can see you. I can see you, and so you’re here and all I have to do is find you, Ma. Don’t you see how much harder everything is now? Don’t you see?”

She grabbed his hands gently, pulling them away from his hair. “Don’t you see? Don’t you see how much more time you’ll have now? How much more devoted you get to be. You’ll find me, son, I know it. You’ll find me and prove everyone wrong, my brilliant boy.”

Adam clasped his fingers over hers. “I messed up, Ma. I got caught.”

She shook her head firmly. “You cannot bury brilliance. You didn’t get ‘caught’. This is the Lord, showing you that its time. It’s the gates of heaven themselves calling you; they want to be found too, my love.”

At those words, Adam’s spine straightened, his fingers stopped trembling, and his jaw loosened. “Oh, Ma. You’re right. Of course, you are. I must do this. I must. I have nothing left to lose. I have to show all these pathetic, mindless robots, that there is so much more to this world than this bleary existence we’re forced to live. I’m going to find you, Ma. I promise.”

As Adam left his office, he gave one parting glance to the seat he’d occupied for over 3 years. “Goodbye, then.” This said, Adam left the room with renewed purpose.

To every observer, the very air around Adam crackled with excitement. With frenzy. With passion.

This piece was written in collaboration with Astrid.