Facilitation
7 April 2013: More than ‘training’ we need authentic conversations among those we seek to train. Because, wisdom mostly resides in the very people we aim to impart any new information to. All that is required, actually, is to let the collective wisdom emerge.
Just back from facilitating a retreat for the directors and sales team of an SME at Matheran.
Instead of the standard targets and sales training, my intent was to hold space and let honest conversations happen — around acknowledging shared reality, collectively imagining the future, articulating the painful truths that need to be spoken and truly owning commitments one makes.
The process unfolded beautifully — and the turbulence and confusion only contributed to the power of the program which neatly organized itself. The shared space created more insights and ideas than any single person could have every provided.
I conducted my first workshop was almost 15 years ago on the 7 spiritual laws of success. From there to here has been a fruitful journey of seeing how transformation happens in individuals and the society — and it has moved me from being a provider of information and trainer-speaker to just asking right questions and coming from a pure intent for change.
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24 April 2013: What are we trying to do in our life here on the planet?
Are we trying to be as rich, famous or powerful as we can?
The sheer differences in where we start (where and to whom we are born for example) and the good or bad luck we get on the way should tell us that there is no point in any comparison of any sort — it would just be unscientific and baseless as well as unfair.
So then are we trying to be happy?
Perhaps — and yet, if we are plugged into some machine that keeps us in a blissful bubble all the time, we will not opt for it. And the very same happiness tastes so much richer and more delectable once you have been through the furnace of grief!
Guess most of us really don’t have a clue — most of the ‘games’ we play in our lives are made up.
If that is the case, why not play a game of serving? Of helping? Of doing something immensely meaningful to us? Of listening to the voice within? Of expressing our innate talents?
How lovely the world would be, if each of us rethinks what their lives are about, and aligns them to their own calling?
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13 June 2013:
We in India have made first generation entrepreneurship exceptionally difficult — from overcoming family resistance on one end to the general presence of lawlessness around, we exist in a culture where words are not honored and being honest in any offline endeavor is a challenge.
That apart, there are probably not enough entrepreneurs to foster a culture of mentoring and an entrepreneurial eco-system. Registration, infrastructure and financing are nightmares in their own right.
So apart from the exceptionally intelligent and those with exceptional resilience, success is limited. No doubt then, year after year, we have our brightest minds making a beeline for jobs, clearly not wanting to risk their lives and prospects by starting up. And consequently therefore, there are very few originally Indian idea-based enterprises that have gone global.
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On the other side is the challenge of doing good and social work, where there is already so much embezzled money, inefficiency and wastage that the sector enjoys little credibility.
Then there are those who SAY they want a better country but will refuse to do a thing about it (closest is donation to the temple or church or Ganpati Mandal). They will refuse to vote under some pretext, crib about the state of affairs (accurately so) and yet chillingly continue to not do anything about it at all.
And there is the government which almost doesn’t want good things to happen (mostly). Both the politicians and the civil servants working with a self-centered psyche — a mentality of rulers who are obliging us by doing even the bare minimum.
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Being a social entrepreneur is then a double challenge — having to run a business and change the world at the same time!
On the journey to being a social entrepreneur it is hard to not feel an occasional sense of something between disappointment and anguish. But there is as much joy of making a difference against all odds :D
If you are up for a very high level of challenge, a really true test of motivation and spirit, of ability and resilience and of selfless dedication, the social entrepreneurship is totally worth a shot!
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2 April 2014:
Leadership is not in big theories, jargon and ‘cool’ concepts churned out by the leadership education machinery.
Rather, it is in being able to bring these theories into very simple, micro behaviours in our day-to-day lives.
We distract ourselves hoping that learning the latest quick fix will transform us overnight into leaders — and yet the truth of the matter is that leading is hard work.
It is hard precisely because it requires us to walk to talk, to confront our own blocks and blind spots, it requires us to ‘be the change’ — to translate what we have dismissed as cliches into our daily living.
While Relead will draw from a lot of theory, its focus will be on simple application into our living — making sure that we don’t mistake the ‘concept’ for the real being required to lead.
At best, these theories are like fingers pointing to the moon — getting obsessed with them is missing out the beauty of the moon altogether :)
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13 June 2014: One of the cutting edges of training is this -
All throughout the history of humanity, we have used empty words to point at what lies beyond them.
And it is THERE where real change lies — accessing it is not possible through words, it has to be experienced.
Describing it won’t work either — the description is not the thing.
Hence, KNOWING is not BEING.
Where does that leave us though?
Somewhere which itself cannot be described :)
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6 July 2014: Its a beautiful Sunday as I wrap up the LxD Conference of Make A Difference (MAD) — 400 bright and dedicated young people from 23 cities transforming the lives of over 5000 kids in shelter homes.
We (Blue Ribbon Movement) are partnering with MAD on a unique transition — towards servant leadership!
Over the last 4 days, we have spoken about Gandhi 3.0, about service, kindness and generosity as much as about Integrity and resolving conflicts with compassion.
From a totally ‘young’ conference of fun and intensity, LxD is making a transition…..now, it is a beautiful melange where ‘Din hai Sunny Sunny’ plays as easily as a Kabir Bhajan (Zara Halke Gaadi Haanko)…..where the morning energizer is now 10 minutes of silence….where the National Team is serving lunch and dinner to the fellows…..it is so much beauty!!!
And I feel privileged and blessed to be a part of this journey….of contributing to this movement….and of being an integral part of the larger Movement for Goodness that is moving the world to a better place :)
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17 July 2014: Heading to Slovenia to facilitate a 3 day leadership development program….
My work will add to harm reduction from alcohol abuse — The Blue Ribbon Movement is working with No Excuse Slovenia :: Brez izgovora Slovenija to make this program happen :)
I haven’t met most of the people who I will be working with — but I know they come from the same movement as me…the movement for Goodness in the world…..the movement of us, who are dedicating their lives to shift the world to a better place for everyone :)
Blessed to be living in such amazing times….with such abundant opportunities and to be working with high impact leaders (and life long friends) like Jan Peloza :)
3 Nov 2015: Unleashing love
Today, I want to share with you a little something about two of my most unforgettable workshop participants — Naughty and Yoda.
As a part of Blue Ribbon Movement, my social enterprise, we enable other NGOs to build leadership for a better world.
One of these, Make a Difference (MAD), works with children in shelter homes in 23 cities in India. I have been working with the core team on their personal growth journeys through circle-work and workshops.
The “MAD Mansion” in Bangalore (the office) is a place filled with lots of hustle and bustle — bright young people energized by the dream of a beautiful world. This space is also home to two ‘community‘ pets — Naughty (an adopted street dog) and Yoda (an equally mischievous Lhasa Apso). Our circles (workshops) take place in a large hall on the middle floor of the 3 storey building — a space that on a normal day belongs to the two dogs.
As a facilitator, it is natural to want a peaceful learning space — and request an ‘interruption-free’ environment. After all, that is what will give us the ‘best’ results…which means, locking away the dogs (or putting them away on a leash).
However, inclusion is an important value to me — in my articles, speeches and work. Transcend and include (levels). Foster diversity (for stable systems). Bring in all the voices (for deep democracy).
Our community speaks about underlying unity. We speak about care and love. But, what are the limits to these (are there any?). I was about to find out.
I must confess that I am not a dog lover — the barking startles me and for most of my life, I have had a mild fear of dogs. But my journey of acceptance has gradually expanded to include one and all….those I disagree with, those who ‘trigger’ me and those who embody my shadows.
Now, life was calling me to include Naughty and Yoda.
So picture this — me, talking about something ‘profound,’ everyone listening in rapt attention and Naughty walking around choosing to express affection to one and all with his licks and snuggles.
Or, another time when Yoda trots over and curls up in my lap — and I find myself facilitating with a dog on my lap. He sits there, doing his thing. And I [trying to be cool], mine — connected to his fur, his breath and his warm body.
When I resume after a break, I find Yoda sitting where I was (a very humble reminder of the transience of the ‘facilitator’s seat’). And then, he is a most enthusiastic member in our movement work session, eventually choosing to dance with a helpless participant.
On another occasion, we had articulated our model for giving feedback on a chart paper– and were quite proud of our handicraft actually. We spoke about how it could be used to transform the organization….till the dogs charged in from the other room and decided to use the very same chart as the arena for their squabble.
I wish I could say that we successfully and smoothly included the dogs in our workshop. That the coming together of the human and canine was magical. But it wasn’t. Inclusion has its own, very real challenges too.
So we figured that there were certain processes where we could not let these guys be around — like the meditations and journaling. During those sessions, the dogs would have to do without us. Or was it the other way around? Were we being mean or just maintaining some degree of order? I can’t really tell.
But if the dogs could have spoken English, they would tell you how they enjoyed being a part of the workshop. Though they may not have fully grasped what was going on [this is open to debate], they were not shooed away or locked up [for too long]– they were accepted and held in the space. With their occasional barks, spontaneous licking and famed puppy-dog eyes.
Were the outcomes ‘compromised?’ Perhaps. Or perhaps, they were enhanced — because we brought in some loving, non-human energy. Perhaps, they invited us to see through the constructed significance of our stories. And as a facilitator, they surely pushed me to hold space with even more presence.
I hold Love as one of my highest values — and Naughty and Yoda have given me an opportunity to expand the boundaries of love. My new bio reads “Abhishek holds transformational spaces for deep inner work with individuals, organizations and now, dogs too!”
17 Jan 2016: [An update for friends about whats up?]
Last 30 days….and a world in transition….
The last month has been a deep and intense connection to the field of social change….here is how it went….
Fresh from concluding a successful SAYC2015, I spent a day with Youth Collective — the community of 5th Space organizations all over India…..sharing stories and lessons as a family — not driven by egos or agendas but really combining our forces as one large wave!
From there, I was off to Pune with a never-before approach to Business Ethics in a workshop for Symbiosis International University — SIU — with 200 students rethinking ethics from an Indian perspective….the challenges of navigating the “55 shades of grey” (the workshop title) in the land of Krishna and Gandhi….
Onwards to IIM Bangalore for my 10th year reunion, where conversations had moved to the future of our kids and what roles academic institutions have to play in a world that works for all….the open-ness of our faculty continues to surprise me, and I wish they get more and more autonomy!
Closing the year at Auroville — one of the most inspiring experiments in community living in the world. Meditation at the Matri Mandir, exploring different farms and cafes and understanding the profound ideas of Sri Aurobindo….his take on our collective evolution seems to be unfolding as we speak….
Back into Mumbai for Relead — an intensive 3 day journey with 14 young people exploring their life journey, followed by another Relead, different but equally interesting one at Pune…Mirat Trivedi, Rohit from Ecoad and Kiran Gulrajani coming in and sharing their stories….instead of talking about ‘how to succeed’, a rich deep dive into what does success itself mean…..lots of love and hugs from the deep dives….
A marathon follow-up of the Avanti Foundation Young Women Leadership Forum where the whole Blue Ribbon Movement team came on the field to handle 300 girls in 1.5 hours to help them with their projects! It was a joy to see groups that had moved into action in their communities….pushing through the hesitation of speaking to new people and taking action….
The really inspiring presentations of the NSS Community Connect Fellowship students about what they accomplished in the year (along with radio interviews of our people!)….the authenticity with which they stood and shared whatever little they had done — and seeing how those small steps were anchored in a deep inner transformation that was underway….
There was also a unique opportunity to judge entries from the National Stock Exchange’s Fundamental Quest — kids from Bhopal, Amritsar and Kolkatta sharing projects around financial literacy and their career paths! Their dreams never fail to amaze me! Thanks to Syed Sultan Ahmed for this one :)
That, interspersed with animated conversations about community, relationships, sexuality, gender and inner work; the One World In Dialogue online course, the many long phone calls with other fellow-pilgrims….
This is a slice of the world that is being born…..it is new and fresh….it is alive and beautiful…..it is marching in, and how!
And taking the liberty to tag some of those people who were present in different ways… :)
Elizabeth Debold Manoj Pavitran Rahiba Ra Emmy de Wit Anil Paranjpe Deepti Rupani Raj Mali Rachna Toshniwal Kartik Kothari Ravi Badri Roy Jacob Madhusudan Agrawal Vasudha Ratawal Bruce Alderman Sushma Sharma Anand Rajaram Anna Brijbala Jim Flynn Pashwa Jhala Kanu Priya Sekhri Sourav Mukherji Deepa Reddy Sanjay Dutt Rashmi Sinha Akshat Singhal Ayushi Banerji and of course Suruchi Aulakh :)
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10 May 2016:
Yesterday was the final group call for One World In Dialogue, a beautiful online program put together by Elizabeth Debold and Thomas Steininger
Over 6 months, we explored some deep ideas in the space of social change along with a global family of kindred spirits…
We looked at how the world is fundamentally transforming, and the few hundred years of Euro-American domination is now giving way to a more multi-polar world.
We explored how there is a prior-unity that pervades our beings, and below the constructed identities that we ‘have’, there is a ground from where we engage and operate.
Then, there was an interesting dive into “Nation Souls”, looking at how different regions represent different parts of the Earth Body, and how each part has its own shadow to deal with….
We looked at the deep conditioning the culture brings, and how being able to hold paradoxes may be the way forward to change….Finally, we acknowledged that there is a ‘we-don’t-know’ space from where we can allow answers to emerge rather than dictate them….
Elders like Leo Burke, Wolfgang J. Aurose and Adebayo C. Akomolafe shared their reflections, while my group Jon Bertelsen, Olga Bastian and others created a mini-family that would reflect on these ideas….
With technology, we can come together and hold each other through these challenging times — and there is great joy in knowing that all over the world, so many remarkable people are taking tiny steps towards another possibility :)
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2 Dec 2016: November shall be remembered for…
- A talk on patriotism at Hindi Vidya Bhavan, where I shared Vinoba’s idea of “Jai Jagat” and explored questions on what is it to be “Indian”?
- Launching the South Asian Youth Conference and Samvidhan LIVE: Jagrik at Blue Ribbon Movement
- A deep-dive into Ecology with Vinod Sreedhar and Leslie Nazareth, where the metaphor of “loosening the knots” was deepened
- The long pending revival of Kehkasha — Bipolar and Depression Support and it’s first support group meeting
- A circle with the venerable Rajagopal P.V. of Ekta Parishad laying the ground for urban solidarity with rural people’s struggles
- A corporate workshop exploring Matrix-organizations and influencing for high-potential senior level managers where we dealt with complexity from a different perspective
- Conversations with noble friends around social change, including Madhusudan Agrawal, Alexander Woollcombe, Ruben Richard Mascarenhas, Franziska Walther, Manish Jain, Shekhar Arjun, Nipun Mehta and Ravi Badri, each a profound voice from the field
- Initiation into the Emergent Dialogue Essentials online course with One World In Dialogue
- And a lovely and ongoing journey with BUCBUC, where we’re experimenting with new ways of being and learning
All in all, a throbbing and alive month comes to a close :)
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29 April 2017:
This one was a 10 min speech with a 40 min QnA!
Shared these four ideas
Feel : allow yourself to feel the pain of what is going on
Take a stand : that this is not OK
Act : while paying attention to systemic effects
Trust : that life will show the way
Particularly in the Act part, I spoke about atleast 3 levels that you must look at an action on — immediate impact, secondary impact and systemic questioning
Feeding the hungry
L1 impact : Satisfaction and fulfilled person
L2 impact : Others around him may be left unfed, there may be dependence, a superior-inferior relationship etc.
L3 question : what is a system that requires us to feed each other as charity, when there is enough food available?
To me, L3 is the most important and urgent level to look at!
Thanks for the opportunity YES FOUNDATION Shivanjali Gaikwad Priyanka and Prerana Langa :)
24 Nov 2017:
What a beautiful explosion Mumbai is witnessing!
The shiniest shred falls in Ahmedabad where a bullet train will soon make it as accessible as a flight, round the clock. Between Mumbai and Ahmedabad sit India’s industries, ports and refineries that power this nation.
Alongside we can trust the entrepreneurship to blossom along Surat, Baroda, Ankleshwar — and hopefully the Vapi air will become easier to breathe.
The other fragments scatter their fragrance in Pune and rest of Maharashtra….from the heartland rises a young Devendra, dreaming big dreams…..and the old Maratha pact is renewed in Lonavala, Khandala, Kamshet…..those very hills where Shivaji learnt and mastered his art of warfare….
Which means, we have loads of hill stations where the Puneri Maaz can dazzle Mumbaikars, who on the other hand are still cool-ly chewing on vadapavs at Bhushi Dam (cliches are the only way remaining to make these points)
A third, tiny and narrow stream flows downwards along the coast, after making a leap to Mandwa, it visits the stunning Alibaug, Kashid, Murud, Harnai, Dapoli all the way to Goa where new settlements of the ‘Hippie’ alternative junta are already making it a new hub…..
Whether you want some Sula wine at NH7 or reconnect to your Marathi roots all the way to Nagpur (via Vidharbh and Baramati of course), its all happening….
Who then is left in Mumbai?
Only 3 sets of people remaining…
1. Those who come to this City of Dreams and find suddenly the respect with which they are treated and the possibility of making it “big” (inspired now by the likes of Nawazuddin!)
2. The ‘cool’ crowd who values the melange and melting pot more than anything else (we’re willing to tolerate a broken down city because of the vibrant life it provides), and
3. The Mumbai lovers who have nourished this city for generations — lovers of art, entrepreneurs who can afford stiff rents by Powai lake and activists who are fighting with all their might to keep Mumbai green…..
As for the ‘elite’ they have choosen to locate their home-prisons here so that they are safe among us — which is nice, good to have the highrises and sea-links….That’s what makes me fall more and more in love with my city every single day….
❤
27 Dec 2018: What do we mean by leadership for a ‘better’ world?
A simple answer to that is “O”.
The current leadership model is closer to “A”. Structures that put one person at the helm have traditionally been humanity’s way of organising.
Corporations, governments, NGOs, even TED talks have the same shape — “A”. (in case of TED, the speaker is at the apex and facing the audience)
We believe that it’s time to move to “O”. The circle structure is a shared space which values all perspectives. It isn’t designed for “efficiency” or “results” but for a much richer, multi-variable, post-rational response.*
In “O” there is a space to be “A” when required, but you return back to the base structure and rhythm which is the circle.
The skills required for “A” are very different from “O”. In O, you require patience, empathy, deep listening, non-violence and a willingness to walk at the speed of the “slowest”.
The assumptions and world view of “O” is also very different from “A”. Each person is valued very differently, reality is seen much more subjectively.
“O” also reminds me that the sum total of our work will pretty much be zero.
I see my own culture (which incidentally invented 0) to be innately more at-home with “O” as a base process rather than “A”.
As we move into a more volatile world, no one mind can fully grasp what is unfolding. And more and more decisions are becoming about ethics, morals and values rather than merely results.
The only reliable way to respond to these is to huddle in a circle and dialogue….a practice that humanity has been involved in far, far before the “A” was born.
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21 Jan 2021: On the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century, we (Blue Ribbon Movement) started its campaign on Sarvanumati (decision making with full consent)
As a facilitator over the last 2 decades, I can attest to the transformational power of this process.
Essentially, the process involves 2 components
- Study circles which go deep into understanding issues and come up with proposals for action
- The general body that provides consent and acts jointly on the proposals
Then, repeat. Results of actions are studied again and new proposals get drafted.
This simple action-learning cycle, done together shifts people in deep and profound ways.
Communication skills like listening, articulating, questioning and building a case for your view develop. Deeper skills like holding space, resolving conflict, acting together as teams and cultivating patience also start getting built.
The philosophical grounding of this is the shared oneness that pervades us all. It is the process of building collective consciousness by walking at the speed of the slowest person. It is about being deeply non-violent. Power is absolutely decentralized and shared, with even one person having the power to block a decision.
Contrast this with a workshop, where power is held by the facilitator. The space is ‘created’ where issues are explored through games, activities and conceptual models (rather than real life). There is a commitment to action based on the knowledge that is generated. The reliance is not only on experts but in the wisdom of the group.
The real challenge of having this adapted is that it needs power holders to radically divest their authority in service of the group. Hopefully we will see more leaders who see the wisdom of this approach both as a way of action and a way of personal transformation.
We are constantly trying to make this technology more accessible and inviting other collectives who may want to try this out as their operating system.
The place where individualism meets the collective, a place where the paradox is resolved is much needed in the world today. This is one such place.
Meet us there?
