I find you like Kashmir

On days like these as the train chugs along the Pir Panjal,

And I look at these mountains, these fields,

Streams crisscrossing these lands of my dreams,

So I think of you, my words sing of you,

as these fragrances bring you back to me and so I search for you,

Outside the window, under a blue sky, midst the green fields of this land,

I look for you and then, I find you like Kashmir.

Untouched,

unexplored,

unheard,

unseen,

unsaid,

It’s a secret hidden in a piece of cloth lying in the middle of nowhere,

As I stare at it in silence like a soul that longs for dreams wrapped in stars waiting to be opened up in the darkness under Char Chinar.

I travel these lands like a weary traveler suffering from my own hunger and thirst,

Falling in these paths, bruised and battered, until you appear like an eternal spring of chashme Shahi.

I stare at your curves rising up like Zabarwan,

And I want to traverse them all with my fingers, my lips, grabbing your neck, tasting ever inch of your secrets.

Your laughter like Jhelum, emerging from the depths as I bathe in it,

It cleanses me, and I find myself being unburdened off all my sadness when I stare in your eyes, seeing a million dreams bursting into a million more,

And then I raise my hands up your waist feeling the arch of your back, Only to find the meadows of Yousmarg there.

So I write my stories with fingertips on your body, letting my tales rest in those meadows.

And you see, you drive me mad with every scent that emerges from your soul,

enchanting me, dragging me to the different corners of this land I’m yet to see.

Your voice lingers in my mind like those songs of Gurez, your stories emerge like boisterous lidder of Pehelgam.

I find myself searching for you all the time, in my sleep, in my wakefulness,

I look for you,

I look in you,

I fall down,

I raise in you,

I grab you and raise you on top of me staring at you like the mountains of Gulmarg, gleaming white under the moonlight.

And as I move, I hear you moan,

Ripples create in Dal, and stars shimmer in still waters of Nigeen,

As I move in you, to the rhythms of those honeymoon songs sung by the women of Shangus.

I move in you like a baakarwal lost forever in search of a pasture land.

I move in you like you’re my one destination, my every journey.

I move in you, like you’re the heaven.

I move in you for you’re my heaven.

I move in you for you’re mine.

Gar Firdaus Bar-rue Zameen ast,

Hameen asto,

Hameen asto,

Hameen asto.

I find it all in you.

I find my heaven in you that arouses a madness, which moves me to you.

Through these valleys, those alleysoff downtown Srinagar,

I see men with ak47, roaming around questioning strangers,

As I question this eternity roaming from here to there, Safa kadal, Nava Kadal,

A blue eyed girl stares at me recognising the madness, and wonders about the ways of world.

About how it drives us, and we drive ourselves mad,

But she’s glad for there exists, a desire to leave in search of what has left,

Leaving us bereft of a life we dreamt about.

So she shouts,

Calling your name, it’s a wonderful game, you see

As I find your hints all over the place,

As you walk away leaving a tiny trace,

Like you know I’ll come, like you know I’ll become, a nomad for you.

Always in search of my Kashmir that you become with every passing moment,

And with every passing moment, I find you some more, I find you in songs and stories like a folklore,

I find you every day every night, as I walk towards my imminent death,

But I still look for you, to feel alive one last time,

To find you one last time.

And so I stare outside the trains window,

As another station arrives, as another moment thrives on its longing for the coming one,

I look for you every where, I find you every where,

For you exist and yet you persist on being invisible,

So I find you in my moments and my days,

And in the land that lays sprawling in front of me,

So I walk this land searching for your hand to hold on to,

And yet every hand I hold with love feels like yours,

For I always find you,

Find you like Kashmir.

All Pictures are taken from my instagram account.