A peek into my cleaning lady’s life
And how she became part of my family
Disclaimer: This article is not about politics or language, but just about relationships. Thanks.
Meeting our cleaning lady S
I’ll never forget the day I stumbled upon a vibrant business card tucked away in our mailbox, advertising the services of a cleaning lady offering one free cleaning of the house! As a new mother with a lively, almost-one-year-old son, I was intrigued. My husband and I exchanged excited glances and immediately decided to pick up the phone and arrange a meeting. Who knew this simple card would give our chaotic household a much-needed breath of fresh air?
The minute she stepped into the house, I knew that I would hire her. She was friendly, efficient and that’s how my relationship with S started. This was 26 years back!
Gradual growth of closeness
At a time when I worked from home, I casually mentioned that my son’s birthday was approaching. To my surprise, she returned with a delightful teddy bear as a gift, showcasing her generosity. Seeing her take breaks to play with him whenever I kept him home from daycare was heartwarming, showing that they were bonding.
During breaks, we started talking about our journeys to the US. Slowly but surely, we were becoming friends. In a few months, she confided that she had carpel tunnel syndrome, which would need her to stop coming.
I felt depressed at first, but she met me with a warm smile and promised we’d keep cleaning together. It was a bit confusing for me, but her kindness made me wonder how things could change so quickly.
Meet L, the tough cookie
In an unexpected turn of events, S embarked on a new adventure by bringing in a team of talented ladies to handle the cleaning! She excitedly promised us the best of cleaners. That’s how L suddenly came into our lives!
L hails from Russia, she has a gift for conversation. During her first cleaning session, she animatedly chatted in Russian, completely immersed in her talk. She was in her own world, even though I was on an important work call. There’s something about her voice – it’s so commanding and confident that you can’t help but be drawn in.
During the next few cleanings, she told me she noticed I was on a work call. She was sweet about it and made sure to keep quiet!
The L lectures
There were times when I was on a call during lunch, and she would firmly express her disapproval, saying, “No work and eat at the same time,” in her unique blend of English and Russian.
My son had started attending daycare full-time, which meant it used to be just L and me at home. She began sharing pictures of her daughter while I was eating, wondering how I could get energy from vegetables. She would say, “You’re too thin; eat meat.” I found the situation amusing.
As time went on, I found myself eagerly anticipating her visits. At home, the silence was overwhelming at times; my only conversations were limited to work calls. But then she would come along and talk – endlessly! She loved to discuss everything under the sun, especially politics. The debates ignited her passion, though she never asked for my input. She carried the conversation alone, and I was just there to listen!
Then, she would assertively criticize me for working too many hours. “Take a walk! When we were kids, we would explore forests for hours!”
Her statements made it clear that she was gradually starting to care about me, and that realization boosted my confidence. She had previously intimidated me, but I was working through that and building our connection.
L and chai
Anyone who thinks they can escape the lure of chai from an Indian household is gravely mistaken. The aroma puts forth comforting vibes.
And that’s how things went for L!
It was tea time, I started the ritual of making chai: start boiling water on stove, add crushed ginger and crushed cardamom, wait for a bit, add tea leaves and milk and boil. Chai is ready! Mmmmmm.
L, who had never had a sip of water in my house until that day, peeked over the stove and asked if she could taste the concoction. She put five spoons of sugar in it, prompting me to retort, “Too much sugar is bad for you; you get diabetes!” and burst out laughing.
This was a turning point in our relationship. Sitting at the breakfast table, she started eating her “protein,” aka meat sandwiches, regularly. I used to make two cups of chai, one with no sugar for me and one with five spoons for L. My! She was stubborn!
Harsh Reality of L’s Life
L had shown me pictures of the town she came from in Russia. I was blown away by how beautiful it was. She also showed me pictures of her family and her granddaughter’s wedding and told me her granddaughter was going to have a baby imminently. The granddaughter was studying to be a doctor with L’s money that she diligently sent.
I felt terrible when one day, with a shameful face, L asked me if I had any clothes to spare that could be worn inside the house. She collected these from the houses she worked in and sent them to her granddaughter.
I told her there were no formalities amongst family and gave her some clothes.
L had a tendency to get injured easily. I recall a particularly troubling incident when a nail fell from the ceiling and pierced the top of her head quite deeply while she was helping to clean at someone’s home. Remarkably, she remained calm throughout the ordeal. Afterward, she went home with S and cared for her wound with her beloved homemade remedies for common ailments. It’s truly inspiring how she always managed to care for herself, even in tough situations.
The saddest situation that I saw L going through was the unfortunate demise of her son in a paragliding accident. Her shock was reflected for many weeks, but she did her work in a typical L way.
L during COVID days
During COVID, we continued paying her, although she never asked for it. Disappointingly, most of my friends didn’t pay their cleaning ladies during those bleak days. When the world opened up, it wasn’t surprising that the cleaning ladies did not return to their original households. The loyalty was lost.
Return of L
L returned once it was declared safe to return to the public. We were happy to see one another.
But I had devastating news to deliver to her. I had been diagnosed with a very rare incurable form of cancer.
After getting over the shock and the fact that our family had rented an apartment near my treatment center, L and S have been so amazing in coming in regularly to ensure the house is clean. L even waters my precious plants!
When I took a moment to express my gratitude to L, she looked at me with her familiar intensity. Tears rose as she softly replied, “Family doesn’t thank each other!” Her response, filled with emotion, made me realize how deeply she values our bond.
