About Me — Aarti Kukreja
International Ivy League Admission Consultant | Writer | Poet | Mindful Coach | Travel Blogger | Mindfulness Podcaster | Forever Curious Student | Nature Activist | Fitness and Nutrition Fanatic | Dog Mother
Hello, fellow-Mediumers!
I am Aarti Kukreja, and I am extremely happy and humbled to become a part of this community!
Childhood:
Born in Mumbai, India, to 2 lovely parents and an older sibling in the 80s, it was not ideal. My mother displayed signs of that right at my birth by instantly going into an unconscious state upon being told she had had a girl child. When I was told that story as a young child, it was always followed by “I always wanted another boy.”.
My brother’s genius led to my parents, (mainly my mother), favoring him over me, and I became my daddy’s little girl, who loved and still loves me, boundlessly. He overachieved, and through constant comparison, I developed under-confidence. I too, had an inkling about my father’s quiet, observant yet curious and sharp nature. My mother, on the other hand, raised me with a metaphorical whip to ensure I received straight A grades and grew holistically in several extracurricular activities, such as all kinds of sports and other movement-related activities such as dancing, and even encouraged me to join MMA, which I have now practiced for over 3 decades.
“Wipe your tears. Girls don’t show their emotions easily to men,” my grandmother said, strongly patting me on the back, urging me to get up and move on, literally. The 1980s in India, at least, were a highly emotionally oppressive and telling time for both men and women. And so, I too was raised the same — in an environment where I could not express my emotions, and felt neglected having a father who traveled 9 months a year, and a mother who invested her emotional interests in my brother more than me.
I can certainly say, that both my parents worked very hard to give my brother and me, a very comfortable life by putting us in private boarding schools and even moving to Bangalore, leaving their whole lives behind in Mumbai, to expand our family business, and invest in our future. But at 9, I felt further overlooked to go to boarding school, which further distanced me from building an emotional relationship with my parents.
Being the most ironically highly populated country, it was and is, also a country that places sex on its highest ban list, which implores sexual offenders to find targets within the vicinity of their social circle. Unfortunately, my brother was a victim of the same, and so was I, from a well-known family member. Even more unfortunate, it continued for a few years, and no, my MMA skills were completely useless.
This not only made my brother and me grow apart but also shaped us to be completely different human beings — he was quiet, aloof, and emotionally unavailable, and I was loud, defensive, and easily accessible. Hence, I took to rebellion and broke all the rules, causing my mother to once again rethink her decision to have a girl. I attracted an angry, abusive boyfriend, as I felt safe in those environments, and suffered a profound heartbreak after our breakup. The only thing I took solace in all this time was writing poetry, which I still have and consider quite emotionally intense and gory, if I can say so myself! Ha ha 😊
Eventually, with no one to express our traumas to, we both took the escapist route as soon as we could, to the UK to study — he for his Undergraduate and me a few years later for my Masters.
However, my university life was the best year of my life! I felt free, alive, and loved! I made incredible friends, dated a loving boyfriend, and even enjoyed studying for my Masters in Marketing Management, which wasn’t my initial dream. Again, wanting to be a female filmmaker in the early 2000s in India, was like inviting you to be robbed of your sexual liberties, and become infamous without fault of your own. I will never forget my grandfather saying, “I know you are good at filmmaking and have won many awards too, but Bollywood is no place for a woman from a good family. You go anywhere and study anything you want, and I will be happy to fund it!”
And that brought me to the next best thing I understood — Marketing, but I digress…
My Professional Journey so far:
Post-university, I started my first job as a Marketing Assistant at a globally recognized International Education company that organized Education fairs, traveling with Ivy League and Top Universities and Business Schools globally.
From being told it’s a research-based marketing job, to traveling 30+ countries 200 days a year for 7 years, this was far from what I had imagined could happen to someone like me. I fell in love with not just my role, my team, and our work culture, but also with helping clients find the right program and international schools for their career pursuits.
This was the golden phase of my life, wherein I traveled with Deans’ of Admissions and their teams, learning and growing, both as a global marketer and as a global person.
Dating life evaded me post-university for many years while I was in London, but I loved my life the way it was. But after sleeping in Taiwan, waking up in Shanghai, and flying across Africa for many months, my company wanted to expand into India, and I leaped to move back to Mumbai — my birthplace and the city I was always in love with.
Moving back to Mumbai was easy, felt natural, and new friends made me feel right at home! So, I stayed, until I briefly moved to Dubai for a role, and hopped back to my city, which never sleeps, in no time!
Working for a couple of Admission Consulting companies taught me I could do Admission and Applications Consulting by myself, and with encouragement from both my parents, I started BlueBox Consulting (www.thinkbluebox.com) 8+ years ago, remotely helping 1000s of global clients receive Admissions to Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Wharton, Kellogg, LBS, INSEAD, and the like, and have been continuing to do so. On this website, you can find what my clients say about my writing skills and some professional articles I have written on International Education.
An early strategy I applied was to make several competitors allies, since during peak deadlines, we all receive several applicants with the same universal deadlines. So, for a shared cost, I would take on some of their clients and deliver it for them by hiring a team of Ivy League School alumni and editors. This has worked quite well for me since I now receive at least 50% of my income without investing in any kind of marketing!
Additionally, I also help future competitors build businesses in different parts of the world, for a hefty consulting cost, which also creates a future lead pipeline for me, while they find their feet on the ground for a few years! Some even hire me as a freelancer for the admissions cycle to build trust with their clients, since I’m blessed to be quite well known in this extremely tight-knit and small industry.
While I love helping my clients brainstorm and craft their personal stories and personal accomplishments through their essays, scholarship applications, CVs, and letters of recommendation, and helping them prep for interviews and receive admits from their dream schools, I felt post-graduation, I did not get space to explore what I wanted, apart from being a filmmaker.
So, over the past few years, I have started several small initiatives and startups, including selling 90% of my wardrobe, in an attempt to become minimalistic, and donating it to a blind school in my neighborhood, to help them build a digitization study model in 2021. I made ~$10,000, which I am so proud to have given away for good! Thereon, I started a Travel Blog / Vlog (www.wanderlustwithyogini.com). Here you can find several articles I have written about my travels, and you can also see some of my YouTube videos with shorter and longer travel videos. Lastly, last year, I also started a Podcast on Mindfulness with Yogini (https://open.spotify.com/show/09CcFA5oXXvE5XoC1OoUek?si=RCaP9g6rQjyj2sIDorhi1A), available on Spotify and Apple. The Podcast earned a Top 100 spot in India on both platforms and 22nd on Apple in Mindfulness. I was even awarded an 8x8-foot billboard for the same, which I still haven’t processed, ever happened at all!
My Personal Journey in early 30s:
Rewinding to 2017, and talking about my personal life, 4 years into my company, for the 1st time I met and dated an unavailable man for over 2 years, wherein I truly felt we could get hitched, but upon that gut-wrenching breakup, MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED!
I have said this many times, and I clearly remember the day he abandoned me. Even though he was unemployed and unable to get out of the throws of his treacherous marriage, my whole body, fell into pieces. I could see myself as bloody broken mirror pieces on the ground, and I, simply staring at them, unrecognizable. I could see my lifelong acquired traumas, my fears and insecurities, my flaws, and the broken inner child, screeching in tears for help with hands on my ears, in an empty, dark room.
Not that I didn’t see it coming, but considering I met someone for the first time whom I wanted to commit a life with at 33, which in India is too late for any woman, and introducing him to my parents, which being commitment-phobic I had never done before, all while knowing he was not working 4 years before we met and continued to remain unemployed most of our relationship, I couldn’t help but feel abruptly abandoned, lied to, and dolorous.
After crying incessantly for 3 days in another country where I went to visit him, I became numb, while convincing myself he would come back. After a few weeks of going back to Mumbai, waiting for his calls without leaving my house at all, or talking to anyone except a few friends, who dismissed me as being the culprit, I drowned myself by watching Netflix and deleting my online presence completely. While this was another way to get his attention, I already knew I had much more complex patterns, such as attracting unavailable men and finding a life partner in them. So, I let it slide, and ignored all calls, except from my parents, whom I kept up the façade, that he and we were fine. I went into 24-hour escapism for a month. Eventually, one day, without warning or reason, I could feel something — something — in the pit of my stomach for the first time in weeks … It was me again, or, to put it more accurately, my intuition.
Of all the people in the world, my intuition drove me to call my seasoned spiritual friend in Romania, and with her permission, I showed up at her doorstep suddenly to embark on a spiritual journey.
As we embarked on a spiritual road trip, both externally and internally, I found myself on an unexpected inner pilgrimage. Joined by friends, we trekked sacred mountains, meditated, and shared vulnerable stories, which gradually illuminated the insignificance of my self-inflicted suffering in the face of others’ challenges.
Through this trip of 3 weeks across Romanian mountains and shores, I found myself being able to be present in the moment and easily access my inner child wounds in the company of friends who created a safe space. This inner journey led to my profound discovery of spirituality, which helped me meet all the versions of me throughout life, who were all waiting at crucial traumatic moments, still stuck in them, repeatedly playing them, which influenced my behavioral patterns and unhealthy actions, which led me to make several wrong choices and lead a miserable overall life from within.
After this trip, I regularly experimented with and practiced several spiritual practices, including expressing gratitude, affirmations, meditation, forgiving myself and others, letting go of things I couldn’t control, seeking help through therapy when I became overwhelmed, and eventually manifesting and making my dream life a reality! Over the years of this practice, I have seen myself evolve, detach from bad default patterns, and even grow kinder to myself and others. I still believe I am only a beginner; hence, I explore and practice various techniques to lead a more peaceful, joyful, and content life.
Since I consider mindfulness my way of life regardless of external circumstances, I wanted to learn it profoundly and eventually studied to be a coach, so I could not only retain my daily practices but also spread the word to others, especially in this overly anxious and distracted world.
Through this process, I realized how my parents did the best they could, and my mother didn’t want another son for any other reason because she knew life as a woman in her times, and rightly so, even today, isn’t easy, especially in India. Hence, I wanted to make amends with my core relationships and relieve myself of the loneliness I had started to feel, living alone in Mumbai, and I convinced my parents to move back to Mumbai to live with me.
They surprised me by being extremely open as compared to other Indian parents, and by growing over these years by openly sharing their fears while raising my brother and me and even apologizing for making mistakes! This healed our relationships, and barring a few ups and downs, I can honestly say, they are my best friends and roommates, who still love me unconditionally, and both rely on me and take care of me equally well.
After a few months of living together, we got a dog — Gochida, which means healer in Korean. We couldn’t be happier together as a family for over 4 years!
Given my investment in health and fitness all of my life, my journey with my physical body, mental acumen, and emotional stability has only deepened further with my practices. Although I turn 40 this year, no one has ever really been able to guess my age correctly, which I consider more of a spiritual compliment than a physical appearance-based one!
Lastly, since I work remotely, I spend over 6–8 months each year in the mountains, where I am made intrinsically aware of climatic changes. I actively participated in several tourist-spot cleanup drives and even did a cleanup drive at the Annapurna base camp. This inspired me to attempt to author a book on climate change, which I am now working on. It is in the form of fictional storytelling for teenagers and above, with 5 characters across India facing climatic changes, and how they revolutionize local and state-level changes to drive larger impacts.
And now, here I am on Medium, to start a brand with my name, and write — for me, and for others, whose stories I relate to, and want to tell — whether it’s through copywriting, blog posts, articles, or anything else!
Thank you for reading this long piece. I hope you enjoyed it!
love,
a
@aarttikukreajawrites
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