About Me — Ashley Grant
Just a girl navigating grief, life, and whatever “adulting” is one awkward misstep at a time.
Who’s That Girl? It’s Ash
At my core, I am my father’s daughter. It took me quite a while to lean into this fact, but when I did life became so much more exciting. My father, a hardworking, fun, energetic man who loved to live life, blessed me with so much of his own personality. My best friend, platonic twin flame, and the one person in this world who understood me without hesitation gave me life. This year, he lost his own. If you had asked me a year ago to write about who I am, much of this article would’ve been different. Through losing my father, and becoming his caretaker in his final months on this planet, much of my own self has changed. I have become so much more self-aware, and have recognized new parts of myself that I hadn’t realized existed prior. So it is impossible to start this article without first recognizing that the me that exists now is not the me that existed 6 months ago, and likely will not be the me that exists in a year from now. But I will give it my best shot to explain who I am currently and how I got here.
Currently, I am a master's student in Mental Health Counseling, although getting here included dropping out from law school, starting a youtube “career,” and moving back into my childhood bedroom for quite a bit of time. I currently work as a trauma counselor, specifically with the sexual assault, physical abuse, and human trafficking survivor population. Although my humble beginnings started in the Pocono Mountains area, I relocated to Philadelphia, PA about 6 and a half years ago and haven’t looked back. Although it gets a bad reputation, my beautiful, chaotic, trash city is nothing short of magical. I have two siblings, the cutest niece and nephew known to mankind, and a cat and dog that are my whole world. As of January 2021 I am 25 years old, fearfully tackling my mid 20’s, and live with my partner and our two fur children.
As a full-time student with an unpaid internship (seriously, how as a society have we not realized that unpaid internships are exploitative?), I have become the side hustle queen. I write for Medium, have a sometimes successful Youtube channel, and have recently begun selling my artwork as a means of some income. At my heart I am a creative, constantly biting off too many creative projects than I can chew. At any given point I am writing a book, creating art, making Youtube videos, writing articles, and dabbling with music production. I personally think life is too short to stay in one lane regarding your career or passions, so naturally I throw myself into everything that even slightly entertains or interests me.
I am way too into television and movies. This has always been the case. For much of my life, I was what can only be described as a recluse. Every night I had planned out what I would watch. I have seen more television series in my 25 years than most people will watch in their life. I have a thing for drama, not in my personal life but absolutely when it comes to the arts. Recently, I have pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and have allowed myself to have a real life. College started the era of parties, drinking, and having an active and engaging social life. And surprisingly, I kind of like that.
How Did I Get Here?
The road to where I am right now was anything but smooth sailing. Growing up, my first chunk of childhood was filled with immense amounts of poverty. My parents did their best to try and hide how bad things truly were from us, but unfortunately, children are far more intuitive than we collectively give them credit for. After losing our first home due to missed payments, couch surfing with various family members, and a short stint living out of a motel, eventually my family found some roots in the gorgeous albeit boring Pocono Mountains area of Pennsylvania.
Much of my earliest childhood memories are non-existent. It is often a joke between my siblings and me that I can barely remember anything prior to sixth grade, but the reality is that is not so uncommon in people who experience trauma. Many of the memories I do have of my upbringing consists of physical abuse, manipulation, and general household anger and violence. By the time grade 11 hit I had already attempted suicide once and was well on my way into a depressive spiral that would last far too many years. It’s common in the mental health profession for people to say that we are drawn to this career path due to savior complexes from our own experiences. I think in my case it’s very fair to assume that’s exactly why I am a therapist now.
But it wasn’t all bad. The child of a former rock musician, my life was filled with experiences many children may not be so lucky to have had (I don’t know how many 11-year-olds can say they’ve been to an AC/DC concert). There was a ton of traveling, concerts, and other experiences that I am so grateful for. The granddaughter of immigrants, many of my summers were spent galavanting around Greece. I’ve been to more concerts than I can keep track of. I have been to Hawaii multiple times. My life may be a struggle, but it is not without any sunshine. These are the experiences that stick with me the most. These happy moments are what have formed (and somewhat saved) me into the person I am today.
What I Write About and Why
Much of my writing stems directly from personal experiences. Within my Medium page, you will find personal tales of my law school experience (and eventual demise), my reaction to the loss of my Dad, and even conversations about American Secret Societies. At its core, my Medium profile is just a collection of stories about what is on my mind, what interests me, and what frustrates me. Nothing is off-limits, nothing is too personal, and nothing is sugar-coated for the sake of curation or views. This is where I am my most authentic and raw. This platform is my life in a nutshell. This is where I leave my feelings and thoughts to sit and simmer.
I find beauty and power in the honesty of my work. A feminist to my core, I feel that it is our duty as women to have our voices, thoughts, and minds heard. For all those women who came before us and were silenced, we have the duty to create a new standard of life. You’ll likely notice that some of my writing pieces focus on either my queerness or have feminist undertones to them. Yet again, I am not about to hold back on this platform. We have one life to live, this year has taught me that in bright bold ways, and it is my belief that to live that life with filters or blinders does you no justice.
Don’t let anything, not life, not struggle, not people, let you feel like you aren’t worth being listened to. You are magic. Do not let that be squashed.
Want To Connect?
I can be found on pretty much every platform across the internet.
You can find me on Instagram here, Youtube here, and my email is ashleymgrantbusiness(at)gmail(dot)com
Some of my work will be linked below. Let me know what you think!
Love and light to you all!
Ash
