About Me — Calvin Stevens

Your friendly neighbourhood South African

Me in 2022 — because I’m allergic to cameras and this is the latest photo of myself that is actually decent (nobody has managed to catch me on camera since!)

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Alright, alright, I’ll stop procrastinating and finally write a quick introduction to myself. It’s not procrastination; it’s patience.

And patience is a virtue.

Now where to start? Oh, right, the beginning — that’s usually a good place, or so I’ve been told. Well, in that case…

…roughly 13.7 billion years ago, the universe was reported to have come into existence for no reason in particular. Eyewitness reports of the event remain scarce, so that number is expected to change (again). Some say this was a bad move (on the part of the universe) but I, myself, am rather indifferent.

Supposedly, a lot of cool, important stuff occurred over the course of those billions of years but, frankly, the party really only started when a precious, blue marble orbiting a small, relatively peaceful star in an undisclosed location within the Milky Way galaxy came down with a severe case of homo-sapiens.

Needless to say, the virus began to mutilate and, several billion multiplications later, it spat out me.

Briefly Boring