About Me — Corey Casey
From chaos to calm
For my 30 years on this planet, so far it has been one hell of a journey, and I am so excited for the next 30 years.
As a child, I was obsessed with reading. It was my escape from the real world and still is. I always loved writing in school but I never thought id write stories online for everyone to read when I became a ‘’grown-up’’.
It wasn't until I got this pull to share my story, that I could no longer ignore, that I started writing online. Writing on Medium, for me, isn’t about earning money. If it helps one person, in whatever situation they are in, I will be happy.
Chaos
I was born in Dublin Ireland, and grew up a 90s baby to an alcoholic parent. The majority of my home life has been chaotic and to be honest I don't remember a lot of it.
Although an alcoholic, my father is a very intelligent man and is what you call a functioning alcoholic. This means he has managed to be successful in the field of IT, setting up many businesses, failing due to his unresolved trauma (a story about this later), made a lot of money, lost it all, and the cycle repeats!
When I was 4 my parents brought me horse riding, and I was instantly hooked. Thanks to my father’s success and money-making, I spent 12 years of my life competitively show jumping around Ireland and the UK.
Every day before and after school, I was horse riding, every weekend I was at a show. I had the best of the best ponies, a lot of money was invested into this passion of mine, and most of all, I was good at it.
So good I was invited to spend summers at an Olympic show jumpers yard to ride horses for him.
But.
Regret
Unfortunately, when I was in my late teens I found my love for socializing, boys and alcohol.
When you spend your childhood unable to do the things your friends in school were doing you feel excluded. You miss all the birthday parties, sleepovers and never fully fit in.
Of course, I was living a great life traveling the country, gaining knowledge and skills from show jumping that my school friends would never have learned, but I was too immature to see this and my parents were too busy in their own chaos to guide me in the right direction.
So I quit.
I gave up my passion. I gave up my opportunity to become a professional and maybe even make the Olympics one day.
It still haunts me to this day.
More chaos
So off I went and partied like a rock star for the next 10 years. I have worked since I was 16 so I was well able to fund my hedonistic life of alcohol, drugs, and parties.
At 17 I took my first trip to Ibiza and it was instant love! So every year after that for 5 years, myself and my large group of 20 party people would head off to the magic island and come back a few brain cells and a lot of euros less!
Luckily through these party years, I had a long-term boyfriend that kept me (mostly) out of a lot of trouble and a very large, great group of friends.
During these years, I also ran away from my problems as much as I could in the form of traveling.
I have never felt at home in Ireland. I think I associate the place with suffering and always hated the feeling I would get when the plane would land in Dublin airport.
Traveling for me was an escape from my reality.
I have spent a summer in Florida, partied in Vegas and Miami, Christmas in New York, visited the Northern Lights in Iceland, got stoned in Amsterdam, and ate and drank my way around Italy. I have visited 12 countries so far and I am nowhere near done.
Rebirth
When I was 26, after 10 years with my ex-boyfriend we went our separate ways.
We wanted two different things in life and I wasn't willing to settle.
This was when my new partner came into my life and completely changed it for the better.
We had met 4 years prior, in December 2014, on a couple of drunken nights in a bar in Perth Australia (my ex and I were on a break at the time!) and fate brought us back together in the March of 2018.
He is Italian and brought me to Venice on our first date so as you can imagine, I was telling my friends I was marrying him as soon as I got back, but something deep inside was telling me he was the one.
We instantly clicked and before I knew it he was moving to Ireland to come live with me after just two dates! My friends thought I had lost my mind, and to be honest, I was starting to think I had also, but something was telling me to take the risk.
After several months of living with me, and witnessing my self-destructive weekend behaviour, my online shopping addiction, and my emotional numbness and constant shut down in arguments, my partner had enough.
I got the ultimatum.
You either pull yourself together or I'm gone, he said.
And that was it. I made a decision I wasn't going to continue this behaviour, and my journey began.
I had a great job through my party years, that paid very well, and I didn’t have a penny to show for it.
I had excelled through my career and worked so hard on myself in work, but in my personal life, I was a mess.
I had no idea how to manage money or life. I never had anyone to show me or guide me in the right direction so I just figured it out, not very well, as I went along.
That's what happens when one parent is an addict with mental health issues and the other one is being driven mad by the troubled parent while trying to hold the family together. You don't get guidance or emotional support. You just put your head down and try to get through life with the resources you have.
Since 2020, I have left Ireland and moved back to Australia. As the saying goes,
‘’you can’t heal in the place that hurt you’’
and it couldn’t be more true.
I have stopped partying and taking drugs. I don’t online shop for the few seconds of gratification it brings when the package arrives and I have found my true happiness through hard work and determination.
My partner has guided me along the way. Teaching me how to save money, make better life choices, and supported me through my healing journey.
Calm
Since healing from the wounds inflicted by my father’s addiction and mental health issues, I have found my spark and creativity again. I feel alive!
I have found my love for spirituality, yoga, and pilates.
I have stopped letting my fear and insecurities hold me back.
I have decided to use my social media platforms to spread awareness of the impact childhood trauma has on us all as we get older. I want to spread awareness that you can heal, end the suffering and live the life of your dreams.
I am so in love with life now. I never thought I would say that. I have found my calm. I have found peace.
I am so grateful for everything I have and proud of myself for building my dream life, in my dream home, with my dream partner.
What’s next?
For me, in some way, it feels like life is just beginning at 30.
I feel like I am finally in the place I need to be mentally, to start ticking some big goals off the bucket list!
I’m a Sagittarius and I am the true definition of one! I dream big and have an insatiable hunger for knowledge.
Some of the big goals on my bucket list are,
- Build an online community around childhood trauma and help as many people as I can.
- Start a podcast.
- Write a book.
- Do a TED talk.
- Own horses again and start back riding.
- Get married in Puglia, Italy — I am still waiting on the ring lol!
- Live in New York for 3 months to write.
- Financial freedom — learn more about crypto and investing.
- Buy an AudiR8.
So that’s it! A little/long 7 minute story about me! Thank you for reading and I hope you have got to know me a little bit better from this story. Please connect with me if you feel like you can resonate with anything I have mentioned above. I want to build some meaningful relationships on here :)
Here is the link for my Instagram and Twitter if you would like to connect on there also!
