About Me — Danielle Ndende
Writing a memoir transformed me.
It’s not that I don’t know who I am or can’t write about myself, but every time I sit to write something deeply personal, I don’t know where to start.
In May 2020, I embarked on a journey to write a memoir. It was frightening. And I didn’t know where to start. I certainly didn’t understand how transformational that journey would be.
Six months earlier, I’d written in a planner that I wanted to write a book someday. By December 2019, I’d been in the U.S. for almost three years, most of which were spent fighting to maintain my status as an international student. The most challenging part was complying with OPT-related immigration laws. OPT stands for Optional Practical Training; it’s how international students can remain in the U.S. to work after graduating from an American school. OPT generally lasts twelve months, and non-STEM students–those who did not study science, technology, engineering, or mathematics–are not eligible for the one-time extension. I graduated with a business degree, so no extension for me. But even getting a job at all for my OPT was a struggle of its own.
Each day leading up to the end of 2019, the desire to write a book tugged at my spirit, each day more intensely than the previous.
I wanted to share my story.
I wanted to talk about my experiences.
I wanted to share my journeys — academic, professional, spiritual, personal.
I wanted to talk about mental health.
So, I did.
Oh, hey! My name is Danielle Ndende. I was born and raised in Yaoundé, Cameroon, where I lived a pretty comfortable life for about twenty-one years. I was grateful for that life, but it’s not until it hit hard when I moved to Chicago in February 2017 that I realized I was oblivious to some privileges I had growing up. My life as an international student in the U.S. was an eye-opening and humbling journey. I regularly found myself in situations where I was the minority — because of my cultural background, my educational background (having lofty career goals coming from a “non-target school” is quite the struggle), my gender, or a combination of everything I just listed. Looking back, I can say 2017 is when my self-discovery journey started, trying to find myself in this new environment I was now living in.
My memoir is titled Dreams Come True, And Mine Will Too: A Memoir of Renewed Hope. I don’t think I could have chosen a better title and subtitle for that book. Spoiler: the dream I started my book with isn’t the one that came true, but my story is an illustration of the evolving nature of dreams and goals. We’re allowed to have new dreams, if we just give ourselves permission to let go of the old ones.
Writing a memoir changes you; at the very least, it changed me. It forced me to look deep inside myself to dig up things I even forgot existed and weren’t part of my original outline (if that’s what you call the initial bullet point list I made in April 2021, when I finally decided to write more consistently, feeling the pressure of a self-imposed deadline to complete my manuscript). Some of the stories I dug up made it into my book; others brought me to therapy. Either way, I wrote about them, but that wasn’t quite the starting point of my writing journey — pouring my feelings into my journals and writing poems as a child was.
I like to think of my memoir as a divine gift — it was never part of my plan. Since 2017, and especially during the four years I spent writing my memoir, I’ve developed and deepened my relationship with God. I was raised a Catholic and attended Catholic schools for most of my education back in Cameroon, but like many, I didn’t have a personal relationship with this God I heard about all too often. I am glad this is no longer the case. And even though this journey, too, has been rocky, I am so very grateful I embarked on it.
Though being an author is a big part of my life today, it is not all that I am. In fact, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to separate my identity from my profession. After the U.S., I moved to Canada. I lived in Toronto for about three and a half years, then moved to Montreal. I love it here, except for the (freezing) cold winters I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. My professional background is quite diverse, having worked a little bit in finance, marketing, and most recently, tech consulting.
I love croissants. And getting my nails done. I started dabbling with nature photography in late 2022. It’s not a side hustle or anything of the sort — I’m a firm believer that not everything needs to be monetized. Some activities can just be passions and hobbies that simply bring us joy.
I started writing to process my feelings. To that, I’ve added connecting with people, with the hope that my stories will find the people who need them the most. I share my journey as a self-published author, and stories that I hope will help someone somewhere feel a little less alone.
Like every time I sit to write something deeply personal and don’t know where to start, today, I wrote from my heart. Thank you for reading this far, and I look forward to connecting with many of you.
You can learn more about my memoir on my website. It is also available in French.
