About Me — Dazzling Shene
Hi. How are you guys and gals today. I hope and wish you are having an amazing day. If you are not, here, I am sending you some virtual hugs. I am a natural empath and as all emapths know, there is always a story behind it, as to what made you an empath and I am here to share mine.
Who Am I, Really?
‘I am a billion Galaxies clustered together waiting to be explored’ -D.S
Is Shene my real name, No. It’s my nick. Since, this is my first ever blogging experience, I find it truly sacred and to be truly authentic to myself, I like to stay a little anonymous for a little bit longer. I am a simple girl who loves movies, seasons and I’m a big fan of Netflix. I love to dance, it rejuvenates my spirit.
I am a business graduate with an MBA and a keen interest in Psychology, Business, Marketing , Finance and Relationships and anything that makes me think and connect with the world. I have a curious mind, searching for meaning in everything and anything ever since I was a child. Probably that is why I decided to pursue a PHD in Business Administration.
“Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”
Things I love
Being a researcher, you are always into other people’s business, research journals , articles, books, etc. For a person who is private, this has given me a chance to explore myself, my passions, share my little world with the rest of the world and find like minded people as well.
Reading is a pre requisite for research, I do enjoy it now, I have become an an avid reader, though, looking back I have always enjoyed books but they were selective. To be honest, I will still prefer a movie, you tube or anything visually enticing over a 1000 pages of a book that bores me. It has to be heart felt for me to keep on reading. I have developed a new found love for memoirs, with ‘Breath becomes Air’ by Paul Kalanithi being my all time favorite. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon so bad after reading this memoir, each page made me cry, it was the most difficult thing I have read.
The Universe at large fascinates me. Einstein has been my favorite scientist of all time. His thought experiments fascinates me.
I would love to back pack and be ‘Around the World in 80 Days’. I love to travel and I am a big foodie.
According to Myers and Briggs Personality indicator, I am an INFPT, also called the Mediator. Some of the personality traits are : Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Prospecting and I share these with the likes of Princess Diana, Audrey Hepburn, William Shakespeare, Helen Keller, and Isabel Briggs, etc.
Just like Princess D, I listen to my heart, I get emotional too, because hey we all are humans after all. And like William Shakespeare I have a creative side, I do find poetry flowing out of me every time I go through a bout of grief, a period of depression or loneliness. Growing up I loved to sketch, paint and write poetry — things I have abandoned due to studies or depression — things I thought were not important any more back then, it’s all coming back to me now. Your calling finds you eventually.
Yes, I have battled with depression most of my life, often ignoring, wishing it away, but it never leaves, does it? Not unless you take steps to improve and seek guidance.
I am here to share with you my wisdom and to tell you that we are in this post pandemic world together and mental health was always a real issue way before the pandemic arrived.
The pandemic only made it normal to speak about it. You are depressed because you have a highly active and creative mind, constantly looking for the next thing and with the right methods and habit formation you too can get better. While, this might not be your story, know that you are special and you have something special to give back to the world. Never lose hope. I am still on the healing path.
I am a little like Helen Keller too in some ways, striving to make the world a kinder, better place one kind gesture at a time. You can too, join me in my journey. Let’s connect.
To be honest, I don’t really believe anyone is 100% on the spectrum on either extremes , I am not awkward or anything, I do love connecting to people, chatting and smiling, people think I am an extrovert😉 But you know yourself. Being an introvert gives you a deeper understanding of people, their emotions, feelings, etc. It’s a super power. Value it.
Which Gen I am From?
I am a Millennial. Somewhere in the middle, not too old and wise, not too young and naïve. I have learned my lessons through trial and error because what is the fun in learning from other people’s journeys if you are too afraid to trot on your own and make your own mistakes along the way.
I am an old soul but still young enough. I connect equally well with Gen Z , Gen X and the Baby Boomers. Kindness connects us. Millennials are the cross road generation, we are the bridging gap between the trio generations. Let’s appreciate our power.
Here is a little something for you:
‘Let the battle between the mind and the heart not fool you, for you may win the battle but lose the war’-Dazzling Shene (D.S)
I wrote a book about a Business Plan during my Bachelor’s. To be honest it was my Uni project. It got picked up by a Publishing house, without any promotion from my side or the Publisher’s I suppose, it sold 5 copies. To this day, I’m still very proud of it. I don’t think my Uni knows about it. I don’t like to brag about my accomplishments. Being a creative; I won many painting and poster competitions as a kid. I loved to draw and concoct beautiful stories. Oh yes, living in the fantasy world goes way back :)
I also won the best creative hand writing certificates. My hand writing slowed me down, so I adopted a different style. I now can write in three or more different styles. On my exam sheets, you’ll find 2 different styles; I often wonder what the teachers think. Often they complain; they can’t read. You know what they say:’ Intelligent people like Drs. have illegible hand writing’ 😛(Notice your Physician’s prescription, scribbled on an important looking piece of paper with an official letterhead, in a handwriting only a Chemist can understand 😉)
Therefore, as my intelligence grew, my hand writing got sloppy. 😏 There is actually research on this area; the brain is thinking faster, so the hand writing gets lazier. You can tell a lot about someone’s personality from the strokes of their words.
I also won many business plan competitions. I was often the leader of my group during my Bachelor studies. During my MBA, I was so tired of doing every one’s work for them and the free riders enjoyed the ride while I slaved, that I decided to hand over the responsibility to other people. Those were the times, I realized, maybe I was meant to be a leader, after all. Reminiscing back to good old days, I remember, I was such a perfectionist on all my projects, it was tiring, the best paintings are not the perfect ones but the ones where you make a few mistakes and lose your self in the process. Abstract is beautiful.
When Life throws you Lemons; make a lemonade
I actually enjoyed leading. While I do enjoy following at times, I hated when others would intentionally not let me present. I’m a fairly good presenter; I shine in the spot light. Hey, I’m a Leo. A Leo likes her spotlight :) I know I said, I don’t brag but as a Marketeer, I learned to advertise and self promote 😁Tools that I don’t use in my personal life. Too bad! My friends call me funny, I wonder why? I don’t like to laugh at others or myself but I can crack a few harmless jokes 🙂
Brands were babies to me, HR too mundane and boring for me. 9–5 desk job, Oh! That was not for me. Then after years of stubbornness — My Mantra ‘Only choose the best and never settle for anything less’ — definitely not mediocre — many years of dry spell of unemployment later; I realized some important life lessons, the most important being:
‘Start with small, build gradually’!
I became comfortable in being alone, in staying at home, in enjoying my own company, in watching movies, saying what I want, eating what I want, when I want, in short I became complacent but unhappy. This was because I loved challenges and I was a dreamer; to kill your dreams and settle for average, kills your potential faster than drugs can.
Then, in late 2016, I got to know I had Hashimotos. It took me an year to accept it. Many tears later, some research, self loathing, ignorance and just wishing it away later, I realized I was getting more sick than better. I had never been seriously ill my entire life. I had abstained from alcohol, drugs, sex, you name it. Unfortunately, I didn’t take very good care of my emotional health nor my physical wellbeing.
My life turned sedentary after MBA. I struggled for years. I struggled to find myself, to enjoy myself, enjoy my own company; I was lonely and I had no idea where life was heading. The years after MBA, I realized, I don’t need online friends who don’t show up in my real life when I need them the most. It seemed everyone moved on and I was stuck, unable to let go of the past, too afraid to make something good out of my future.
Friends didn’t help to motivate at this time. I completely shut every out as I’ve been doing for years because of the emotional hurt inflicted by a few unkind souls. I learned to be my own best friend. I said I was fine when you know you only say it when you’re really not fine! The only pillar of support was my family. I owe my mom everything. I was addicted to FB for 15 years. I often thought, this will kill me. Social media actually was slowly killing me.
Some Final Thoughts
Slowly I started realizing who I was. I still trust people too easily because I believe there is good in every one. Pain has a way of making you humble and connects you to your self and the universe. It teaches humility. It makes you realize that the material things never really mattered and will never do so. Pain helps you grow. It helps me grow every day into a better and more humble person.
My only purpose in life is to be happy; to spread a few smiles along the way; to find peace, to be at peace with myself, with my reality, with the world at large and to be true to myself!
If we are happy ourselves, only then, can we help alleviate others’ suffering!
To check out all my poems, follow me. So far, I’ve published 170+ poems :) Join me on my journey 💖 Let’s connect, one smile, one hug at a time🙂🤗
Here is a link to my poem about the reality of time: