About Me — Dovie Nguyen
The girl who writes
The time when I was afraid to meet people
It was a rainy day, and in the morning, my mom told me her friend would visit us in the afternoon. This news was awful for me because her son would also come when mom's friend visited.
That boy was 2 years younger than me but bigger in physical terms. I don’t know if it is just what adults around me tend to do, or if it is a normal thing in Vietnam. But they like to compare kids at the same age together, from physical growth to grades in school. And I hate it every time people compare me to other kids. They would say things like I was too thin, not tall at all, didn’t look like a kid my age, and that maybe I was malnourished!?
Do you think I wanted to be born with a small figure? Of course, I don’t. So you don’t need to tell me how small I am.
I was so embarrassed every time it happened, felt like it was my fault. To the point, I couldn't lift my face to look at them.
That day, I ran out of the house after lunch, wandering around the neighborhood to find the children I often played with. But no one wants to play with me. One has to take a nap, the other is not home. Frustrated, I stopped at a neighbor’s house that I don’t usually visit because it had started to rain and there was no way I wanted to go home to see my mom’s guest.
It was a long time since someone had any opinion about my small figure, but inside me, there was always the desire to prove myself, to prove that I was “bigger” than this physical body.
So now you know I’m a petite girl from Vietnam with a strong urge to prove myself to the world.
The time when I was a top-tier student in school
I love going to school because the only thing that matters in school is your educational performance.
My elementary school is a little-known one in a suburban area of the city. It was easy for me to stand out from most other students because of my grades. I’m sure I was one of my teachers’ favorite students. Not only I did do a good job with those exams, but I was an active student who always expressed opinions or answered questions in classes as well.
In middle school, I still attended a local school in that area. Everything remained the same, my performance was still at the top and I was often known for that. The only difference was that I expressed my opinion less in class. And even when I knew the answer to a teacher’s question, I didn’t actively answer it. Something in me had changed, perhaps the bravado of a child had gradually melted away to give way to a shy and introverted teenager.
High school was great, it was a mix of a little bit of bitterness and sweetness here and there. Why? I moved to a school in the center of the city, and I was no longer one of the most outstanding students. I’m just a normal student like any other. There were times I struggled with all of the academic things (mostly with Mathematics). I doubted myself, scared to be face-to-face with my future. As the time for college got closer, the fear rose.
The reason I could do well in school is because I did things I was told to do. Now you tell me to decide on which major I want to study, and which job I want to live with for the next 40 years of my life? On my own? Uh oh, I got in trouble.
Have you ever felt lost when no one told you which way to go, and the uncertainty almost killed you?
That's exactly how I felt.
I realized that grades are just for school. Doing well in school doesn't mean that you will do well in life as well. In real life, you need more than that. There are skills that school didn't teach you. If you could learn it by yourself, you would survive. If not? Good luck!
With that in mind, I started my new journey.
I used to be the type of person who was good at following other people’s orders but not good at making decisions. But I also don’t hesitate to take things into my own hands if needed.
The time when I gained back my confidence
After one year of college in Vietnam, with a major that didn’t fit me, I said, “I’m done with this" and quit college to learn Chinese.
I decided to study abroad in Taiwan.
Don't ask me why I came to this and why Taiwan. I don't know either. I just had a feeling that this decision would change my life forever.
Deep down, I believed that, and it turned out to be true.
Living alone in a foreign country means you have to take responsibility for your own life. I have to learn how to take care of myself, spend wisely, and solve all problems in life.
Throughout this road, I’ve shown myself that I’m a trustworthy, responsible person who can accomplish more than I ever imagined. This is why I regained my confidence. I’m no longer terrified of unpredictability or problems. Although it may sound clichéd, everything happens for a purpose, and there are lessons and opportunities to be learned.
To this day, not everything I’ve done in the past 5 years has been perfect. I made some mistakes, missed some opportunities, and wasted precious time. But all of these things brought me to the life I have now, and I’m grateful for that. My life is perfect in an imperfect way because every moment is the best version of itself.
I am a foreign student who has lived in Taiwan for 5 years, and I have a lot of stories to tell about this amazing journey.
The time when I was a poet, a lyricist, and a sci-fi and fan fiction author.
I started my writing career earlier than most people.
At the age of six, I wrote my first poem. It was about the moon. I don't remember exactly how it sounds, but my two audiences—my aunt and cousin—liked it and said I have a talent for writing poetry. It was great, but I had to end my poetry era right after that because writing for just two people is too boring for a six-year-old kid.
I restarted my career two years later, this time writing lyrics. To be more precise, I want to compose music. At the age of eight, I was “deeply” influenced by songs about love that were popular at that time. So, with a hardcover notebook and a ballpoint pen, I started writing a love song, when I had no clues about what love was.
I had completed some verses, but never a whole song. I didn’t play any musical instruments, the only thing I could do was hum a few melodies I came up with in my head. The biggest problem was that I couldn’t write down those melodies on paper. Every time I put music and lyrics together, I sang it differently.
I told one of my classmates that I was trying to compose a song. She was impressed and got very excited to hear it, but I didn't share anything about “that song". I didn't confess to anyone how I felt about it either. It was not so bad, but it was far from what I had expected it to be. And the fact that I deeply knew I would never get the song done made me even more upset.
My career as a lyricist ended like that.
What I love about life is that it goes on and gives you opportunities, to begin with something new. So one day, when I was ten, I started writing science fiction.
It was just like any sci-fi novel out there. There was our hero, who suddenly heard the call to adventure. He began it alone but met some good friends on the road, they fought together against the monsters to... Sorry, that's all I can remember about the story.
This time, I was brave enough to share the fiction with my classmates. I knew they liked it, and thought it was so cool. But once again, the nature of the writer in me spoke up. I didn’t know how it happened, one day I just didn't have the urge to continue the story.
I had no way of knowing the outcome of that adventure. Whether my hero would succeed and return in glory or not. That will always be a mystery.
I’m not the type of person who likes to be endlessly involved in anything, but I don’t understand why I started writing, again. Maybe because my love for my idols is too much, I thought writing fan fiction for them was a good idea.
I published my work — as a series — on Wattpad when I was in high school. It was one of my biggest works, it got almost 70K views, lots of votes, and comments. To this day, I still get notifications of someone voting or adding that fiction to their reading list, almost every week.
My readers’ remarks used to be my main inspiration to keep writing. But once I finished writing the most appreciated story in the series, I felt a lot of pressure. Partly because the writing process was difficult, I was drained of energy after each hour spent on the task. The other reason is because I believed that was the highest point I could achieve, and I would be unable to surpass it. After writing another story around a year later, I decided to wrap up the series there.
Reading this far, I know you will expect to see something like “I have successfully become an author as I wanted. I write every day and my monthly reads are nearly ten thousand”. Me too!
However, life often doesn’t turn out as expected, which is the most charming part of it.
Thinking about all the things I’ve tried to write, I realize that maybe I don’t like writing poetry, lyrics, or sci-fi novels that much. Because if I loved them, I would have found a way to continue.
But there’s one thing I know for certain: I enjoy writing. That is why I return to it time and again. Even though I have quit writing, I still dream about it every night and look for ways to get back to it every day.
And now I’m here, where I know there will be many people like me. Falling in love with something that makes people both sublime and exhausted, like writing. I’m here to feel sympathy and to be able to overcome the fear that the weight of every word I write will crush me. So…
Hello, I'm Dovie Nguyen. One thing about me, I write.
P/s: One more thing about me, I don’t drink.
