PERSONAL
About Me — Iris B. Stehn
Learn about my life
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Welcome to my “About me” page! You can call me Iris, although this is not my real name.
I’m scared to write under my real name, and you will understand when you get to know me.
About My Stories
My stories are detailed descriptions of the physical and psychological violence I experienced in my childhood and early twenties and other private topics like postnatal depression.
My stories are very personal and help me cope with my traumas.
I can’t write under my real name, because I fear the consequences if someone recognizes my articles about the abuse I experienced as a former member of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Sadly, I’m one of many who experienced similar abuse in a religious sect, but I was tracked down in the past, even after I moved away.
In addition, my narcissistic ex-boyfriend would be furious if he knew I told anyone about the abuse. I’m not scared of him, I never heard of him after the final separation talk, that’s where I am lucky.
I don’t want to take any risks, my past should stay where it is forever.
About My Life
I’m mid-thirty, a mother of a little girl, and live in Germany. My youth was not bad, but I was often sad because I was excluded from so many events and parties.
My first birthday celebration was at maybe 15 when I left Jehovah’s Witnesses forever.
I celebrated Christmas for the first time secretly with the family of one of my ex-boyfriends when I was 16.
A few years later, I moved to my narcissistic ex-boyfriend. After I finally left him, I was so happy for a while. There were some ups and downs afterward, I found and lost new love and moved on.
Many years later, I got married and moved to a small town. There were many problems right from the beginning. Compared to my ex-boyfriends, it seemed a lot better.
I believed it could work out. I was wrong.
About My Daughter’s Birth
I always dreamed of getting married and having two kids, living with my family in a small house outside the city. I got pregnant and gave birth to a precious little girl.
The pregnancy passed without issues, but from the time I had to go to the hospital until about six months after my baby was born, I had the worst time ever, besides my narcissistic ex.
I had many complications while giving birth and got an emergency c-section without having a choice.
I had postnatal depression and also buried my dream of a second child.
About My Husband
My husband didn’t do much to help me.
He couldn’t handle me and decided to provide me with food and go to work, doing the bare minimum at home, even when he was on parental leave.
Until today, I feel angry and sad about that. He understood what he had done, more than two years later, when we stopped being a romantic couple. At least I thought he understood. I was wrong, later on he told me that he did nothing wrong.
When I realized this is not what I wanted, I talked to him about separation.
About Now
Sometime later, I met someone by chance who changed my life quickly and positively.
He is also the reason I know about Medium. I started reading about so many things, and a few weeks later, I decided to start writing about my experiences to help others.
I even started to write some poetry, as my special person made me happy again and inspired me with his kind heart. Sadly, we couldn’t meet shortly after we met due to several reasons. I still miss him until today.
About My Job
For my living, I solve IT problems and drink a huge amount of coffee at my favorite customer.
I love my job, although I had a rough start with old guys believing that women should cook, clean, and watch children instead of programming and IT consulting.
In addition, there are still shockingly many guys who think that sexual harassment at work is fine.
About You
Thank you for taking the time to get to know me and for reading my articles. I appreciate any comment.
I’m happy that I found so many great authors, articles, and new inspiring topics. Thank you, Quy Ma for creating About Me Stories!
Yours
Iris
