About Me — Janaka Stagnaro
Following the Weirding Way
A couple of weeks ago, a reporter interviewed me for the Carmel Artist section of the Carmel Pine Cone. I have my art studio in downtown Carmel. For an hour and a half, I talked with the writer. It was interesting to see what he chose to include in his article, “Traveling Along Colorful Roads,” and what angle he wanted to present. Here is the link if you are interested (page 27A). I realized how incomplete it was, although it was written well. No one’s history can genuinely be told because no one is isolated from All That Is. There are direct influences, but many more indirect influences conspire to make us who we are. That said, I will interview myself and see what bits and pieces will bob to the surface.
Your wife just called you weird last night. Why is that? Are you?
Very weird. I think I was flirting with her in a Clint Eastwood voice. I tell her every time she is shocked by my antics that I follow the Weirding Way, a term I have borrowed from Dune.
As a Waldorf teacher, I have had the joy of teaching many classes for over 25 years. One of the words held as a badge of distinction in my classes was being weird. When a child might lament that someone called their work weird, I would reply that it is good to follow the weird way. Weird means that something is different or unique. Even the word itself is spelled weirdly.
I am happily weird.
What are some early influences on your weirdom?
Ones that pop into this mind (which, as the Buddha so wisely pointed out, does not exist) are Vonnegut, Python, Woody Allen, Prog Rock, Hitchhikers Guide books, Heinlein, Tolkien, Comic Books, playing historical wargames, watching Star Trek…
When I was very young, when creatures inhabited closets, I can remember pretending to go into my rocketship and take off to explore other planets. When I was around 11, I found the occult section at my local library and got my first tarot deck.
Did you grow up with any religion?
Nada. My father was an ex-Roman Catholic, and my mother was a Protestant by name only. We had a St. Francis statue that I liked. My spirituality grew through my fantasy and sci-fi reads, and then when I began to listen to groups like Yes, Genesis, Pink Floyd, and Tangerine Dream, to name a few. Music, to this day, alters my mood quite considerably. Beethoven’s 9th was a spiritual experience when I heard it live. It still is.
Over the years, I have put my toe into various religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism (Zen and Tibetan), Catholicism, and Episcopalian. I have read most of the primary scriptures of the major religions. While no one religion has hooked me, I am moved by chanting and the art of all mystical religions. There is only one Truth, which has many paths leading to it.
Religions, like all people, have bright points and shadows.
What normal things did you do?
I was very athletic and constantly played sports and watched sports avidly. My dream was to be a professional soccer/football goalie (too many injuries). As I reached my later teens, I tried to fit in by drinking and smoking pot, an attempt to ease my social anxiety at parties. Drinking also accompanied the picture of being a writer, emulating writers like Hemingway or Hunter S. Thompson.
When did your spiritual path begin?
It is hard to pinpoint as I have had so many awakening moments. A few of those that I will briefly talk about are the following. I had a near-death experience around 19 when I nearly drowned, and I became the awareness, watching from above my rescuer jump in and pull out my body from the river — and then having that awareness return to the body and to the me who was not happy about being back in a dense body.
Soon after, I was a soldier in a Saigon café in a dream, and a little old woman walked up, put a 45 to my face, and fired. The shock woke me up in a paralysis state, vibrations coursing through my body. I forced my arm to bang on the wall to wake my parents, but my hand passed through. That shocked me out of that state.
Years later, I learned how to astral travel until an entity warned me away from the practice.
While solo hiking in Nepal in the 80s, I had the experience of coming into the Presence of God, which knocked me to the ground in a homecoming where I finally did not feel alone. When that passed, I knew that was all I wanted, leading me to many teachers, alive and on the other side.
I worked at the Bodhi Tree Bookstore (a mega metaphysical bookstore. in Hollywood) in the late 80s and early 90s. I became their Tarot reader. I had so many unusual happenings and awakenings there. I met so many wonderfully weird people.
My two years studying to be a Waldorf teacher integrated my art with my spiritual path and from there it blossomed to become an integral part of my life. The whole Waldorf journey has been a time of self-growth and developing many talents, such as storytelling, acting, and playing various instruments.
Who would you say are your teachers?
Everyone is my teacher, especially those closest to me. They are the ones who know my buttons. Besides them, I have a list. Ramana Maharshi, Jesus, Ramakrishna, Rudolf Steiner, Alice Bailey, the Ascended Masters, and the Dalai Lama. Nature.
I met my first teacher, unknown to the public, in the desert north of Flagstaff, Arizona, near the Hopi Lands. Just a handful of disciples would come to this remote property. That is where I saw my first UFOs. He had shaktipat, a touch that could send one into bliss. He channeled various entities. He manifested gems. And he became very delusional. I eventually left with his hands at my throat like Darth Vader. I could write much about my time there and still have many questions about it. Besides opening my inner eye to many things, he did teach me about the dangers of wanting psychic powers, something I have wanted since my first explorations into the occult. I wanted to be like Dr. Strange. My experience with him helped me to beware of cults and to spot the snares that hook people into giving their power over to another flawed human being, no matter how high they may have soared into the spiritual heights.
Any other significant events in your life?
Here are a few. My birth. March 6, 1960, in San Mateo, California, just south of San Francisco. My 40-year-old mother wanted an abortion, having had three children already (twins with another man), but my 34-year-old father had enough Catholicism in him to fight for me. So, while there was an ambivalence about my arrival, my siblings told me I helped to bring more peace into the family.
I served in the Peace Corps in Cameroon, West Africa. I had never experienced such a vibrancy in a community as I did in my two years there. Growing up in suburban America, the essentials are easily covered by all the entertainment and consumer items. In Cameroon, I had guns pointed at me; I was in a car that killed a little boy, and I saw people give food out of gratitude when they had little. After my time there and subsequent travels, I was no longer just an American. In fact, the American dream of owning a house and nice cars and whatnot had no hold on me. I was a world citizen (even that is too limiting). I took a hitchhiking trip across the backroads of America, from Florida to California, where I met many people with that generosity of spirit.
My eight months in Australia, hitchhiking from Perth and eventually leaving via Darwin, nearly circumnavigating the whole continent, was a highlight in my travels. I did many bush walks on this land that I have had an affinity for since childhood.
I became a father at 31. The birth of my son helped to ground me, to get me to take off my backpack. I took the name Janaka (born John) as inspiration, who in Hindu spirituality is considered the ideal householder who could manage his duties without attachment.
When I attended my father’s passing. He and I had a rough go through many of the years, with him disowning me when I married my first wife, a black woman. But through lots of forgiveness and grace, we came back together for the last ten years of his life. I was meditating around midnight next to him when, suddenly, a mighty presence came into the room. I went to him and started chanting, my hair standing on end, and he had the most beautiful smile. And then he was no more.
What are you grateful for?
I am grateful that there was no social media growing up. I did some pretty stupid-ass things in high school and college.
My angel team for getting me out of situations I was dumb enough to get into, who monitors my wish list and vetoes the manifestations of my many fantasies.
My wife. For nearly 20 years, she has tolerated my quirkiness, puns, and disorganization. She has been very supportive of my art and writing. She has been a great partner in raising our son (18 years old).
Children, those balls of energy, those animists who can see any object as alive, who negotiate reality with one another, and who keep me young.
My family, whom I needed to distance myself from at the beginning of my spiritual journey so I could find myself and then return a better person with more appreciation, and who are better able to see me for who I am (though they still call me John!).
All those button-pushers who have shown me what I still need to work on.
My walking staff takes me on magical adventures into the beautiful landscapes of the Monterey Bay Area in California.
What do you hope to give?
By teaching meditation and with my writings (I have published 11 books), I hope to help others turn within to the Truth beyond the mind so they can look outward to the Divine that is everywhere.
By chanting, I hope to still minds and open hearts to the many Names of the One.
Through my art, I hope to bring beauty and mystery into the world.
By teaching, I hope to inspire and bring goodness to those I have the joy of guiding.
By my life, I hope to show that life is an adventure.
Well, if you have made it this far, good on ya. Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope you gained something from this sitting.
Blessings on your adventure.
Here is an excellent book review by of my quasi-autobiographical journey, “The Teachings of Yama: A Conversation with Death.”
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