About Me — Joy
A forever traveler of life and inner self
I can no longer remember how many times I have written ‘About Me’ essays since first grade. Yet, I still don’t know how to start writing one though I’m in my late twenties. It’ll always be the hardest topic to write about… well, at least for me.
I have always dreamt of being a writer. At five, I would write hundreds of stories in my head and act them out, playing all the characters in my story. You may agree it sounded cute, but it slowly turned into a nightmare as I grew up in a place where dreams must be practical.
Writers, like artists, must only exist in a rich family. The middle-class one must learn a special skill and be a teacher, an office worker, a nurse, or a more professional role. And I have chosen to be in the field of accounting. I wish I could write and give you tips about banking or finances but I dread those topics.
I have worked as a bookkeeper for five long years. And it was the slowest time of my life.
Everyone was right though. Working in a corporate world could give me stability — I can buy my favorite drink with lots of cheesecake every single day if I wish so. But I was never complete nor at peace. My childhood dream has always been haunting me…
And so, I became a freelance writer after an 8-hour office job. It was draining but it was the only way to keep me going and keep me in touch with my sanity, my dream.
One day, I decided to go all in and be a full-time writer.
My goodness! I didn’t want to admit it but the society was right again. Being a writer is only for the rich — and for the real talented people. I was a beginner so I wasn’t paid that much and every online writer might agree with me on this. Writing for businesses has taken a toll on me… and it was almost the beginning of dreading my childhood dream.
I never thought anything worse could happen more. Until a new, big phase in my life swept me off like a storm. My first heartbreak. And this was the beginning of the end of a child’s dream.
I could no longer write. I tried to but I just hated words as much as I hated the pain that comes with love. And I got lost. From accounting to following my dream to losing myself from a heartbreak, I am somewhere else — figuring out where I should be in this life, and what I’m meant to do. Thus, explains my username mystic_wander.
Countless nights when thousands of tears have been shed, I questioned who I was. It was neither accounting nor writing. Part of my self crisis was due to my break up but it’s gonna be a whole different story.
But wondering where I was, I found that writing is in me. My clouded mind clears up when I scribble words. Just like Van Gogh with his canvas and brush, nothing can take writing from me as it’s the only way I can be who I am. So I dare say I’m not lost… not totally.
And if you, same as me, are still wondering about who you are, maybe you can join me on this journey while I write about self-discovery and mindfulness. Then, maybe, you’d be able to discover about yourself and we’d be able to write “About Me” essays in the blink of an eye and with confidence.
Please do follow me and let me hear you too.
Hoping for the best, mystic wander.
