About Me — Kabir Chatterjee
A 21-year-old filmmaker seeking creative freedom through the Internet — This is where I am going to be sharing my thoughts, realizations and learnings as I tread an unconventional path for myself as an artist — within one that was already a little unconventional — let me explain.
Hey! Welcome to my, ‘About Me’, page. I’m so glad you’re here.
I’ve always struggled when it came to reading or writing at a stretch, and even though I’ve often fantasized about being a writer, right now is probably the first time I feel like I really have something to say. It’s almost as if I can hear my own voice clearly, for the first time in my human experience, and it’s finding a ‘Medium’ of expression outside of me. (see what I did there)
I was 10 when my mum handed me her new DSLR, and it just naturally became mine. For the longest time, I thought I wanted to be a photographer. I always loved films but I never really conceived that I could actually pursue that. It was just never something that even occurred to me.
It was when I switched schools in the 11th grade that I realized this blind-spot. My new school had film studies as a subject, and I picked it without a second thought. As a result of this, I realized I wanted to go to film school and learn cinematography.
Let me just acknowledge that in India, even in my generation, this was a very liberal choice to make, and I am grateful I was given the freedom to make it.
Though, as I went further into film school, and pursued that liberal choice, I found that there were many conventions and conditions in this field as well, like any other. You could count on your five fingers what was considered proper and acceptable even within a society of filmmakers. To my knowledge, there was and still is a conventional path to take even in the field of filmmaking — that path is to assist a filmmaker. I don’t see anything wrong with assisting, because there is so much to learn from more experienced filmmakers, but at the same time I realized that it’s not something that was working for me. It felt like there was something else that was calling me.
As of today, it’s been almost a year since I finished my degree film, and when I reflect back — this period of time has been a war between my inner voice and my conditioning. For more than half this period of time all I was chasing was a good assistantship with a good cinematographer. That was the path to success — that was the only path, whether I liked it or not.
Until it wasn’t.
The space between all of these conventions and conditions, was the internet.
I’d started making videos on Instagram and YouTube a little under two years ago — a dormant seed that really started growing sometime in 2023.
This was the path I wanted to take, I wanted to make my own films, my own art, and use the internet as a medium to grow my platform. This way, I could scale my work, grow as an artist, and do what makes me feel happy, all at the same time.
Here, there was no one gatekeeping my journey to being a filmmaker.
This seed though, had only grown into a tiny plant — while I knew what I wanted as an ideal situation, I didn’t believe I could have it yet. That’s why, I took up an internship as a director’s assistant at an ad film production house, I was there for three months — until January 2024. I loved this production house’s work, but by the end of the internship I just knew it wasn’t me and it wasn’t for me — but my being there was very important, I did a good job there and that kind of helped me acknowledge my own talent and believe in it.
Still, upon leaving the internship, I told myself & everyone around me that I’m leaving this internship because I want to assist a cinematographer and not a director. I started looking for an assistantship with a cinematographer. In the period of me looking, and not finding anything, I was granted time to think things through, I was getting closer to really hearing myself.
In the middle of January — there was an ad film cinematographer looking for crew, and I joined him as a trainee for a three-day long ad shoot — that was actually a really bad experience, and I think that was what I needed for me to really flip the switch and commit to a different path — within the duration of that shoot I also got a call from my film school, I was told they were awarding me a Gold Medal in Cinematography. It felt like everything that was happening was leading me to where I actually belonged.
This entire experience was a week before my convocation — the day I was to be awarded. This was the first time I ever received an award for something.
My mom got me an iPhone on the day of my convocation. I hadn’t been creating on my Instagram page for almost five months now, and I think getting that iPhone was a blessing — it took the resistance away. I had recently heard Rick Rubin saying something on the lines of, “Everything you make as an artist, is a diary entry”. I took that literally. I decided I would post everyday even if it was just a picture. It didn’t have to be amazing but I would post everyday.
A lot happened between the 25th of January (the day of my convocation), and the 3rd of March, a very very special day in my existence.
In this time, I hesitantly looked for more assistantships, as I kept creating on Instagram. I realized that I just wanted to keep creating. I was secretly happy that I wasn’t finding an assistantship — I didn’t want one anymore. During this time, my reels had started getting between 2–3 thousand views regularly. I was used to them getting a maximum of 1800 views, so this was new. I also upgraded my equipment, my dad got me a new camera that I could use professionally to freelance.
I was like, okay, this could work, something is happening. I decided for good, that I would take three months to only work on my Instagram, and I would freelance alongside that to take care of my expenses — I decided that I would NOT assist for the next three months, at all. If I was doing this I needed to give it a fair shot — I needed to give myself a fair shot. I took up a few freelance gigs as a videographer and set out on my journey — but there was still a fear that I would have to assist, and take a route that doesn’t feel right to me — this fear kept tugging away at me.
Within a week of me getting the new camera, and taking up two gigs, someone I had reached out to, to help find me an assistantship in the past, a family friend, got back to us with an opportunity for me, this person was going to call me. This was an assistantship with one of the biggest cinematographers in India — but I didn’t want to do it. The fear of having to assist was at its peak in this moment but I had faith, I just knew that I was going to succeed at being a creator and I was going to pave a path that suits me best. I hadn’t received the call yet, but I put my foot down and told everyone around me that I wouldn’t do it. It was a hard no. It sounded crazy in the moment — I sounded crazy in that moment.
3rd of March was the day I said no to something I didn’t want to do, I was aggressively myself, more myself than I had ever been.
3rd of March was also the day one of my reels first went viral on Instagram. 2 more of my reels went viral on the days preceding that.
There was no turning back. It was like the universe was asking me to commit, to trust, and be comfortable with uncertainty.
Now I am regularly creating, and putting my art out on Instagram and YouTube. I’m finally connected to my core reason for doing this again — I do this because it’s fun. I want to make films… because it’s fun.
So, here’s where I’m at currently; I am growing my platform on the internet — I am building a creator eco-system for myself in a way where I can create the things I want to create and support myself through that, instead of taking a path that sounds like the right one to take.
In the mix of everything, Medium is a space where I would like to share with you my journey, and the things that fascinate me on my journey. Thank you so much for reading so far.
I am so grateful for the internet.
See you in my next article!
