About Me – Keshia Alphabet
How imagination shaped my reality
Studies suggest that childhood traits like having imaginary friends or being a daydreamer can shape adulthood in meaningful ways, often fostering creativity, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence. If that’s true, then Jack – my childhood imaginary friend – may have played a bigger role in my life than I realized.
According to my mother, I introduced Jack over breakfast one morning, and he stayed by my side until my brother was born. He was real to me, a constant companion in my little world. My mother always said I lived in a world of my own, where my imagination and daydreams had no limits. I sometimes wonder where Jack went – and if he had a hand in shaping my inquisitive mind and deep thoughts.
As a child, my imagination brought Jack to life, but these days, it’s less about invisible friends and more about envisioning a better world. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to understand what Paul meant when he said, ‘When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a woman, I put away childish things’ (1 Corinthians 13:11). My imagination didn’t fade – it simply evolved, shifting from make-believe to practicality and truth. Instead of dreaming up imaginary friends, I now dream of solutions, renewed perspectives, and simpler ways to navigate life’s challenges.
The Weight of Responsibility
I grew up in the church, and as the eldest of three, there was always an unspoken expectation of responsibility. I often felt obligated to make judicious decisions, a weight that probably influenced my decision to marry at such a young age. Looking back, I wonder if I was trying to meet the expectations placed upon me – to do things “the right way.”
By 20, I was both a wife and a mother.
Marriage at that age was a lesson in itself. The idealized version of love I had imagined clashed with the reality of commitment, compromise, and sacrifice. My marriage to the father of my three sons didn’t last, but it left a lasting impression on my understanding of life, love, disappointment, and recovery.
Motherhood, on the other hand, was different. It was both demanding and rewarding. There’s no manual for raising sons, especially as a young woman still trying to figure herself out. I learned as I went, making mistakes, adjusting, and growing alongside them. Motherhood challenged me in ways I never expected, forcing me to develop patience and a greater sense of responsibility.
The Village That Shaped Me
But I didn’t navigate this journey alone.
I’m grateful for the support of the people involved in my world. I was surrounded by strong and intelligent men and women who provided a foundation on which I built my life. My grandparents gave me the Word, grounding me in faith. My uncles gave me thick skin, teaching me the value of emotional intelligence and discernment. My mother gave me confidence, a trait that carried me through life’s challenges. My aunties? They taught me about self-care and the art of doing hair – something that would later become my livelihood.
That skill set not only provided me with an income but also gave me the flexibility to raise my sons after the divorce. For over two decades, I worked as a hairstylist, and if there’s one thing I learned in that role, it’s that people will tell you their whole life story while sitting in a salon chair. I became more than just a stylist – I was a listener, a counselor, a sister, a friend. I heard countless stories of heartbreak, triumph, betrayal, and redemption.
Over time, I began to notice patterns – similar struggles, repeating mistakes, lessons learned the hard way. Conversations in the salon were never just about hair; they were about life, relationships, and the pursuit of happiness. These experiences gave me a unique insight into human nature, shaping the way I approach life and relationships.
A Journey of Self-Discovery
At some point, I realized that I had spent so much time listening to others that I hadn’t truly sat with my own thoughts.
That changed when I participated in “The Journey,” a 40-day holistic process that encourages spiritual, emotional, and physical transformation. We were divided into small groups and given daily journaling assignments. One of the assignments was to ask close friends, family, and colleagues to describe us in one word. The responses I received were humbling – diplomatic, dependable, funny, kind, fair, straightforward. I wasn’t surprised, but it did make me reflect on how I show up in the world.
Not that I let others define me, but I pay attention to how I make people feel.
My group leader would always enjoy my journal entries. That sparked something in me. It made me realize the importance of self-reflection, of truly knowing who I am outside of my roles as a mother, hairstylist, and friend. It encouraged me to express myself through writing. It also led me to start a book club – a space where women could come together, share ideas, and challenge their perspectives. This year marks its 15th anniversary, a testament to how much I value learning and conversation.
From Conversations to Writing
For years, I expressed myself through conversations – whether in the salon, or with friends and family. But then, something shifted. I started writing things down, realizing that my thoughts, my observations, and my reflections had weight. They weren’t just fleeting ideas – they were stories, lessons, and insights worth sharing.
It felt unfamiliar at first. But the more I wrote, the more I saw the connection between my past and my present. The same imagination that once created Jack was now helping me craft narratives that made people think.
Life has given me plenty to think about. I’ve recently learned to write these thoughts down and found that they make an interesting read. Who knew?
Shout out to Jack for that.
