About Me — Leticia P
“I was born with something inside me that refuses to settle for average. I don’t know what it is, but I’m grateful I have it”
My name is Leticia, I’m 33 years old and, a Brazilian-born American.
I speak English, Portuguese, Italian, and French. I learned French through Rosetta Stone I dreamed of living in Paris. I think it’s so chic.
People always told me I should write a book because of all my stories.
For my age, I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives.
A brief preview
My parents divorced when I was two years old. One moved to Brazil, and the other stayed in the USA. From then on, I’ve been bouncing all over the place.
Everywhere and nowhere feels like home.
I was born in Boston, moved to Minas Gerais-Brazil for a couple of years, and did most of my schooling in Boca Raton-Florida.
When I was 20 years old, I moved to New York City by myself.
I spent six and a half years there until the building where I lived raised our rent by 60% in one month.
Miami was the next best option.
I was there for a couple of years until I visited my mom in Brazil during the pandemic, where I met my fiancee who had been living in Milan and was also visiting Brazil when the pandemic hit.
I moved to Brazil to be with him, and as soon as we could, we moved to Milan where I’ve been living for the last two years
Weight Struggles
As I wandered all over the place between Brazil and the US for the first several years of my life, I developed an eating disorder.
Growing up in the way I did had its consequences.
Food became my best friend.
Not only was I overweight from the age of six, but I was also one of the tallest girls anywhere, from a very young age.
I suffered an unbearable amount of bullying throughout my school years, and by the time I turned 20 years old, I weighed 275 lbs.
My high school years were the toughest.
I had a small group of friends, but they were older or from a different school.
In the early 2000’s the “it” brands didn’t offer my size.
Even if they had, my immigrant family and their values would never pay Abercrombie and Fitch prices, just so I could fit it.
In a sea of skinny, bleach blond, extremely tanned, Juicy Couture-wearing girls. I felt like Fiona from Shrek in Old Navy sweaters.
I ate in the bathroom during lunch break more times than I care to disclose.
As soon as I turned 17 my dad gave me an older model of a Honda Civic, while the rest of my schoolmates drove Audis, Hummers, and BMWs.
I felt uncomfortable and out of place that I skipped school to the point where my driver’s license was revoked due to lack of attendance.
My girl friends went through a series of boyfriends, while I stayed permanently single with no prospects in sight.
I was deemed ugly by the Boca Raton standards and I believed them.
New York City
One day while working at the local Olive Garden two years out of high school, I got a call from a friend who had moved from Florida to New York for school.
He let me know one of his roommates was moving out in a week and if I wanted to move in.
It was a makeshift room with no windows in a small apartment in the Financial District.
The rent was $1,000. I had no money and no savings.
I was so desperate to get out, and this was the opportunity.
I took it.
My life changed
Starting from scratch in NYC, I was able to leave the old Leticia behind.
Being around people of all shapes and sizes, of all walks of life, wearing whatever their little hearts desired, set me free.
I was regarded differently.
People thought I was pretty despite my weight.
My confidence grew.
The motivation to leave the Ugly Duckling version of me in the past drove me to the change I always wanted but never believed I could achieve.
I set foot in the gym for the first time, I learned how to cook healthy meals.
I quieted the bullies in my head.
The voices that told me I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, or worthy of love for so many years.
From that point onward I’ve accomplished many goals, traveled, and met amazing people from all over the world.
These incredible and difficult things that happened in my life, the adventures I was bold enough to embark on, brought me valuable lessons.
I haven’t gotten it all figured out and my eating disorder still gets the best of me sometimes, but I’m much stronger now.
My goal on Medium is to create a community of people (especially women) who are looking for inspiration or a friend who understands what it’s like to be a miss fit.
Follow me at https://medium.com/@leahpenha
