About Me — Lindsay Rae Brown

Writing through the stress…usually in a unicorn onesie.

If you need to know one thing about me, it is this: I love my name. My name is boss. To be clear, my name isn’t actually “boss,” which would be weird. But it is boss as in the slang (that dates back to the 1880s!), meaning super hip and with it. Somebody should give my parents a medal or something for coming up with this spectacular moniker for their firstborn child.

My name is Lindsay Rae. Currently, I am standing over a garbage can in my unicorn onesie, eating a chicken leg and typing on my laptop with fingers that are so greasy they are leaving fat blemishes all over my already disgusting keyboard. There is a sharp shooting pain under my left ribcage. This could be from the chicken or perhaps an ulcer that has gone undetected because of my acute anxiety caused by doctor’s office waiting rooms.

I’m in the onesie because I’m always cold since turning 35. I would like to know if this is a common side effect of ageing or if perhaps I’m experiencing some kind of circulation issue. However, I probably won’t find the answers I’m seeking because of previously mentioned fear of doctor’s offices.

My stress levels are through the roof at any given moment, and I find myself eating manically each time I feel the overwhelming weight of…