About Me — Russ W

Surviving and Thriving Despite My Best Attempts to Self-Destruct

Proud Tottenham Hotspur supporter (even through all the meltdowns). Also, that’s Central Park.

Hello, friend. Thanks for sharing a moment of your time.

I’m Russ. I’m a 42-year-old Californian living in NYC. People always ask me how I ended up on the East Coast. I suppose I wanted to run away.

You could say I’m good at running. It seems to be a “through-line” snaking its way through every chapter of my life.

I ran from playground bullies and childhood trauma into a land of hobbits, dragons and rings. I ran from poor verbal acuity, standardized tests and tutors into video games and D&D. I sprinted from my feelings and social awkwardness into cookies, chips and cartoons. I ran and ran and ran on the soccer field until I was the last one standing.

I ran from my anxieties into drugs. I ran 3,000 miles away from my friends and family in LA to the East Coast [this is known as “pulling a geographic” in the addiction recovery world]. I ran from my insecurities into master’s degrees and inflated, overcompensating business titles. I ran from relationships, connections and consciousness into alcohol.

I didn’t know it then, but all those years I was really running from myself.

I simply didn’t want to be me.