Ru-Humors
About Me — Shaqib Akram
A Digital Marketer — A Writer — A Traveler — A Gamer
I’m an artistic genius. No?
You know, I refrained myself at a point, or else I would also have been — a doctor — a teacher — a policeman. Yea, I didn’t want my name in the Guinness Book.
Ah! I guess now you know the kind of a person I am. What else is left to say, eh? But wait, there’s much more.
Hola! Welcome Salaam Namastey
Allow me to introduce myself — My name iss I always fuck things up — What? Don’t you believe me? Well, stay in here till the end.
I think I’m too late to introduce myself to the community, as most people already know me here. Okay, no one wants to know me personally, but come on, accept this you know me as a fellow writer.
Remember me? Yea, we meet here daily on Medium for boozing. No way, don’t say you don’t. Pshaw! Same here!
I’m One of a Kind
I’m a 20-something poor brat whose only intention of coming to this earth is to travel and explore. I do things just for the sake of exploring. Once I stole my Dad’s wallet just to explore what was inside. Ugh, it still hurts on the bum!
I was born in India into a wealthy family (not anymore) in the mid-90s. My Dad is a famous businessman, but you mustn’t know him. He doesn’t like socializing. My mom is a homemaker, and my brother is busy becoming an engineer.
I took my education from 7 different schools and colleges. No-No-No I never failed. I can telegram you my grade cards. I’m an incomplete MBA. I know I don’t look like one but trust me, I’m a proud MBA dropout.
The reason behind it is a tragic girl-crazy but boy-lazy love story (I’m sure you’ll find it fascinating), but I’ll talk about it some other day.
I’m a very social kind of person. There’s no single day when I don’t go to a cemetery. Yea! We like ghosting around.
You’ll find me as “Humpty” on most of my social media accounts. I don’t know why people always say, “Hey, Humpty! Watch out for your eggs.” I mean, Okay! Humpty sits on walls and looks like an egg. Right? So what? Mindless souls.
That’s how we do social media promotion here;
Facebook — Instagram — Snapchat — Twitter — LinkedIn
Did I miss something? Oh, Yeah!
I even made an account on Tinder once. And you won’t believe I came across hundreds of girls over there, and I ‘left swiped’ them all. What? Okay, they all rejected me. But Isn’t it cool? Getting rejected by so many girls feels much better than getting dumped by one.
My Mom Made Me a Gamer
Video games have always been my best friend, my friend in loneliness.
Back in my childhood, I was a well-mannered proper misbehaving child. My mom used to batter me often. And after getting all that beating, I used to play GTA San Andreas and kill people for satisfaction on my PlayStation.
Then it became an addiction. I purposely started doing things that always grabbed my mom’s angry attention, just to get beaten up and play video games.
My mom still says that I’m one in a million. And I love her for everything.
The above picture shows that I manage to assemble a brand new CPU for PC gaming.
And now, I’m thinking of starting a YouTube channel after an hour. I’ll send you guys the link to it. And please, guys, please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Plus, hit that bell icon too.
My Addiction to Writing Came From Writing
Well, Yes! I became a Writer when I didn’t know the meaning of being one and started my CAREER as a writer when I was only 10–12 y/o booboo.
In my primary school days, I was very fond of CURSIVE writing. I used to write down my daily life experiences and make a list of things I fantasize about in my private notebook. Gawd! I can’t explain how hard it was to keep it hidden, or I’d have been sent up to the sky then.
Things do change. Right? They do not always remain the same. As I grew up, I indulged myself in poorly things and fucked up my well-established writing career.
But then Medium saved my writing life. And I again became addicted to writing. And now I’m a generalist writer. I have no niche in my mind. I write about everything that interests me, excluding my name.
I’ve sworn to write on Medium until I earn something like $123456789. No, seriously! I’m okay with Stripe’s get-rich-never scheme for me. But I’m just interested in buying land on the Moon.
I Wish My Partner Wouldn’t Have Teased Me
A few years back, I met a girl through a gaming platform. She lived in another city. She has a charming personality. So I showed my interest in her. We started to jell along together.
Soon we were in a relationship.
But do you know the worst part of being in a long-distance relationship? Let this be an example for everyone.
Once my girlfriend and I were having a random romantic chat. Things got hotter when she started getting cozy. I often lose my senses in these kinda situations.
Then she said she was home alone. And I was like, what did you just say? Like seriously? Are you inviting me to your place?
She was laughing, and I was excited. But then I realized I only fuck things up. I was heartbroken. She said she was just making fun of me and was sorry for the joke, but I couldn’t take it anymore and lost my temper.
Yea! I broke up with her.
But it was mutually decided that I don’t fucking deserve her.
I Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Mountains
I first went to the mountain with my family in the 3rd or 4th grade. It was literally a compulsion for me as I was acrophobic. Those hills and valleys looked so scary to me that I thought I’d never go-back home but die here.
And now my parents don’t want me to travel to the mountains. They say it’s not safe out there.
Are you getting my point?
The people who took an acrophobic child with them to the mountains when I literally refused to go are all of a sudden now against me going there when these mountains are the only love left in my life after the breakup.
Now I’m tired of explaining to my parents every time I go on an office tour.
I’m a mountain freak, and I love to travel a lot. I’ve been to so many majestic places. I’ll mention some of my favorites like Kashmir- The heaven on earth, Nainital- The city of lakes, and Manali- It sounds like my ex’s name. Nothing, just being personal.
Hmph! I’m done for today now. Let’s meet up for lunch someday on Jupiter. What say?
I hope you had fun reading about me, and you can follow me here to read more of my work. Plus, don’t forget to show your love & support by buying me a chai.
