About Me — Stephanie Gibson
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and some times hard to handle.” ~Marilyn Manson
You would think that writing about yourself would come easy, but the truth is it is really hard to actually write a proper autobiography of yourself. Oh the day I become famous and have someone else do this for me. (I’m really joking, what’s the fun in that!?)
Alright, let me see how we can do this… engagingly (is that even a word?)!
Warning: This is my actual life story. There’s 37 years of it! Be patient!
The 2-minute version.
I am a 37-year old successful woman who still needs the validation of authority figures. I drink too much coffee and I enjoy eating pretty much everything — except lentils… no lentils.
I am cheeky and mischievous and would take anyone for a ride into uncomfortable territories through relentless questioning especially when I meet them for the first time. Much to popular disbelief, it is my own discomfort and shyness that is masked by the turbulent nature I portray…
What matters the most to me is what people think about me… and if I get to write that narrative and take control of it, I will do it. It’s a weird way of looking at things but it works for me. Strangely enough, it keeps me authentic.
I’m an actress turned corporate professional. I did 3 years in film school and 6.5 years acting professionally in Singapore for film and TV. I went back to University to get a Communications degree before uprooting my life and moving to Canada. I’ve been here for 11 years. Out of that 11 years, I’ve spent 10 of them building up a career in professional services. Toronto is home.
So I’m in Communications… but I have rarely written, at least not like this. So you can say I’m a fairly new writer. Medium was a suggestion my wife encouraged me to look into. And now I love it. I love it because I get to write something that’s on my mind and post it. I have a self-diagnosed attention problem… I can’t sit still for too long and I lose interest too quickly. So writing a book is really out of the question (at least for now). I attempted writing an semi-autobiography. I was five chapters in but I stopped. I lost faith in myself and I haven’t been convinced to continue. It’s been 2 years. Medium gives me the instant gratification to post something that’s brewing in my mind quickly and efficiently.
It’s an outlet. And it’s a way for me to share my life experiences and thoughts with those who relate and show them that they are not alone.
Mental health is, above all, the most important to me. I had a breakdown a few months ago and it showed me that no matter how strong you think you are, you just never know when the breaking point is. Mental health issues can consume you.
My life’s passion has always been acting. I’m closing 40 years old… some of you will say it’s not too late. I don’t know. I’ve diverted much of my efforts to social media and I’m content (for now) with the support I do get from Tik Tok and Instagram. In the medium-short term, I also want to start a business in change management consulting focusing on issues that matter in organizations — like Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI), Culture and Values.
I don’t want to waste anymore of your time and know that I take your time seriously. The fact you’ve used some of it to read my blog has given me more reason to continue writing. Now if you’re interested in my long-winded life story, please continue reading. Thank you.
The very much extended life story.
It’s a rather crispy winter Monday in December 2020. Like many people, I’m sitting in front of my home-office computer attempting to focus on my 9–5 corporate professional gig (of 10 years). After editing a fantastic year-end comedy holiday video to which my bosses and team mates were all entertained by, I had spent the rest of last Friday writing a leadership blog and newsletter and had sent that on for review. This morning I was pleasantly informed that both items have just been kaiboshed ← that’s a word. To no fault of anyone, it’s just a regular day in the office. Things change, we move on.
If you haven’t guessed already, I work in Communications (more specifically Corporate Communications) for a professional services firm. Let me just stop for a second and say that this is not where I ever thought I’d end up. Let’s go back in time and you’ll see why…
21 June 1983 | Singapore | Mt. Alvernia Hospital
I believe it was about approximately 6:54pm that little Stephanie was born. According to my mom, I slipped out. Actually her words were “you were so small like the size of a kitten. I didn’t even know when you slipped out!”
This was definitely something I needed to know. If that wasn’t enough, my mom decided I needed to know that she tried to abort me three times. Yep… you see, my father had tuberculosis at the time of the pregnancy and doctors had advised that her child might be born with defects (like I’m a car part or something) or with down syndrome. So she decided she didn’t want to risk it. However, it seemed that the higher-beings wanted her to keep me because each time she showed up at her abortion appointment, the doctors had emergencies to take care of. Eventually she gave up trying.
Now, I don’t know how true this story is but it sure left a lasting impact in my mind… I’m fine and I’m none of the above… I mean, maybe a little crazy.
Also, PS: now I expect presents.
1990–1995 | Singapore | C.H.I.J. Punggol
That stands for “Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus” — yes this little one went to an all-girls Catholic Convent during her primary school days… complete with a nun for a principal, the blue pinafore uniform with white Bata/canvas shoes, and prayer mornings every Friday.
I’m pretty sure it was also in those very impressionable young years that little Stephanie had an admiration towards her classmate, Genevieve, and one of her teacher whom she wanted to grow up to look and be like. Later that admiration became quite clear that she admired them in a not-so-platonic way. Let’s move on, this got weird fast.
1996–2000 | Singapore | Xin Min Secondary School
This was one of the more prestigious neighborhood schools back in the day. It was also a co-ed school which made my parents rather uncomfortable knowing I was in the presence of the male counterparts… little did they know…
But going to a good secondary school was all that mattered. Sure, I didn’t make the Raffles Girls School caliber but this was second best, I guess. I generally got good grades and I represented the school in sports so I’d say I was one of the girl-jocks.
There were different groups in the school… the popular kids were ranked by how well they did in sports. Volleyball and badminton were the two more popular sports that the school was known for. I was in badminton for a year, did really well but training 6 days a week took a toll on my grades so mommy dearest insisted I choose something less demanding. I became the vice-captain of the Netball team. Still good, just not crazy popular.
Of course there were the nerds, the gangsters, the drama club kids, and so on. I wished I went to drama club… I had always loved acting but sports was more important to me then.
At the end of secondary school and at the mercy of the Singaporean education system, my grades determined the possibilities of my career prospects. In fact, all throughout your primary and secondary school years, the education system categorizes you into predetermined career possibilities depending on your grades.
**Digression alert**
I was going to do a whole blog on this but let me explain here… what this means is that a nine year-old kid who happens to be a little slower in their intellectual development and doesn’t do well in the streaming examinations get put into an “EM3” bucket that inherently predetermines him/her to do more technical/practical careers (like carpentry, etc.). At the age of 12, if you happen to be a little lazy and/or have no motivation and you don’t do too well in the PSLE (primary school leaving examination), you get posted to secondary schools that aren’t too prestigious or don’t generally have top tier graduates.
Then when in secondary school you are divided into the following streams and the number of years to graduation (depending on your exam scores which determine your level of intellect): Normal Technical (5 years), Normal Academic (5 years), Express and Gifted (both 4 years). Normal Academic students have the opportunity to be promoted to the Express stream if you do well in years 1 and 2. The Express stream is also divided into 1–6 with Express1 taking subjects like higher math (A-Math), biology and higher sciences, while and Express6 students would take subjects like commerce, accounting, E-math, and general sciences. Arts was an elective.
I think you’re getting what I’m trying to say. You don’t really get second chances if you are an academic late bloomer or if you suddenly get motivated or see the importance of education when you’re 14! Yours truly was an EM2 primary student and a Express5&6 secondary student. No surprises that I’m not the doctor or lawyer like my parents wanted.
***
Guess what I’m about to say… you got it: depending on your O’level grades, you get to apply to Junior College for 2 years (which then allows you to have easier admission to the government Universities) or you apply to a 3-year polytechnic program in the career area of your choice (if you can get in!) to get a diploma. And thereafter decide if you want to apply to University for a Bachelor’s degree. Normal Technical graduates typically attend technical school.
I went to film school.
2001–2003 | Singapore | Film and Media Studies, Ngee Ann Polytechnic
Yes, I went against everything my traditional Chinese parents wanted. I went into Arts! My life changed quite a lot in this time. I learned so much about myself in these three years.
- I did not like production. Probably the wrong decision to go into film school if I didn’t like production. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to be a director… however it has served me tremendously well in my Corporate Communications career — apparently, I’m seen to be a ‘unicorn’ in my organization! Cool!
- I’m a loner. I didn’t like the ‘stuff’ that the typical 18 year-old likes to do. I didn’t like clubbing, smoking, drugs (!), having sex (later we will find out why) — I’m generalizing.
- I went to church but I wasn’t a believer. I was born into a Catholic family. At 14, I converted to protestant and started attending a different church. Truth is I just liked the company and the music and the fact I got to play/sing in a band! I tried to believe but… bygones.
- I did not like boys. I had a lot of attention with boys at school and boys at church. I found myself in relationships with them at times but I just wasn’t interested in the sex. Never wanted it so I never had it. I had my suspicions at a much younger age (cue: Genevieve) but I wasn’t sure. Plus I was living in a very conservative country with traditional parents and I was a leader in the youth group at church. You can piece the suppression puzzle together.
- I love acting. When I was 19, I auditioned for a lead role in a telemovie series. It was when High Definition (HD) first became a thing. And that became my first career…
2002–2009 | Singapore | The ‘career’
From modelling…
…to film and tv acting…
I did them all… for 6.5 years.
My first acting gig was a lead role in “Sweet Dreams and Turtle Soup” — a telemovie directed by Mabel Gan-Millians about a coming of age movie about a sixteen year-old girl who is determined to do well in the approaching O’level exams. Lucky me.
While do that, I went back to school in 2006 to get a Communications degree, graduated in 2008.
2009-today | Toronto, Canada
- In 2009, I uprooted my life and moved to Toronto.
- In 2011, I joined the professional services firm I am still at today.
- In 2013, I officially came out to everyone as a lesbian and I met the love of my life.
- In 2015, I married the love of my life in Saint Maarten. She has been an instrumental support to my creative endeavors.
- In 2017, we got our fur baby, Kaya.
- In 2018, we produced, directed and launched Serial Dater, a mini-web series on YouTube about Alex, a bisexual serial dater, who takes the piss out of others to prevent herself getting hurt again.
- In 2018, I attempted writing an semi-autobiography but have since stalled for the last 2 years. Maybe I’ll continue but I really need some pushing and accountability.
- In 2019, we started recording a podcast called Out of Touch but had to put a halt on it due to COVID-19. Plans to resume have yet to be discussed.
- In 2020, I started a Tik Tok account and I am just enjoying creating content for those who care to watch it. Sure it’s not in the millions but growing to 25,000 followers in 6 months is quite an achievement for me. We even have “Honey Honey” merch!
- In 2020, wife and I did our first road-camping-trip across Canada (from Toronto to British Columbia. We started a YouTube channel and published a 10-episode vLog series documenting the trip. It was awesome.
- In 2020, I started writing for Medium to share my thoughts, experiences and opinions about things that every one can relate to: mental health, entrepreneurship, relationship, self improvement, life, love, writing…
So… it’s been eventful. There are things I wish I could change, and things I wish I could do but it’s not always that easy. But I won’t give up and I still have time.
Thank you for reading… :)
Here are some of my proudest writings:
Thanks .
If you are interested in the education system I was describing you can google the Cambridge education system. I’m sure it’s evolved since but it should give you an idea.
Editor’s note: All opinions expressed are of my own and do not have affiliations with any corporate entity.
