About Me — Toni Baldwin
A mother of two, ex-banker, and aspiring writer
I am 41 years old and have been trying to write my first novel for nearly a decade. I joined Medium in order to forge connections with fellow writers, re-energize my writing attempts, and (hopefully!) gain some much-needed feedback.
Is the subtitle above really me in a nutshell? I certainly hope not. It might be technically accurate, but I worry it evokes many stereotypes that have nothing to do with how I see myself.
I never aspired to work in finance, and I still struggle with how to recount it to others
I stumbled into investment banking at the tender age of 20, having just graduated top of my class from Cambridge University. I cringe at every word of that sentence, so let me temper my arrogance by adding that I genuinely haven’t mentioned that to anyone in nearly two decades!
If only I had actually believed in the multiple doors that were open to me back then, but as a working-class girl from the West Midlands of England (the first in my family to stay in education past age 16, let alone attend university) I felt that pursuing the highest salary I could get was the right and only thing to do. When Goldman Sachs made me an offer during my final year at Cambridge, they were never going to hear anything from me other than “yes please.”
It’s not true to say that I hated my decade in the City, and I have admonished myself many times for speaking too negatively of the job that gave me much security and a constant intellectual challenge, but it never really felt like me. Where some of my peers thrived, I felt like I was slowly shrinking. For many years I harbored a desire to be a writer, but it felt self-indulgent to pursue something that would feel too much like fun (as well as offering no guaranteed salary…)
My years at home with the children were some of the happiest of my life
When I became pregnant with my first child, the decision to leave my job (fully supported by my wonderful husband) was a no-brainer. The last ten years at home with my children have been challenging and rewarding in equal measure, but at the ages of twelve and nine, the kids no longer need my undivided attention (admittedly, I’m about four years too late in reaching this realization!).
This brings me to now: sitting here at the computer screen with a naughty mini schnauzer yapping at my feet, finally trying to realize a dream.
What have I missed?
I’ve missed out everything interesting. The list below is a much better reflection of me, and the sort of thing I like to learn about others:
- I love quizzing, although I can’t pretend to be one of the impressive sorts who compete in national leagues or regularly win pub quiz nights. I did appear on The Chase, though (the ITV game show), and I got through my head-to-head round.
- I drink about 5 cups of peppermint tea a day, but only after I’ve had my two obligatory morning coffees. I think about food way too much and I don’t really understand people who AREN’T foodies.
- I have absolutely no sense of coordination, meaning I was always picked last for sports at school and I struggle hugely with reverse parking.
- I have no spleen! It was removed when I was 18. I have an impressive scar to show for it.
- I’m an atheist whose favorite subject at school was Religious Studies.
- I love Prince (and all 80s music) and I still feel sad that he’s gone.
- My kids amaze me every day and I will always think they’re the best thing I’ve ever achieved. That’s coming from someone who normally rejects sentimentality!
I hope to write on a range of subjects
I am brand new to Medium and this is my very first article, so I can only say that I hope to write a variety of blog posts and stories drawing on my own life experiences and pure imagination…
