About Me — Tony Swope
Writing until it hurts less, or finally makes sense — or both.
I’ve always hated ‘About Me’s. I hate how you’re expected to know yourself so simply, in so few sentences. How do I describe a lifetime of me so that it’s appealing to others? How do I make myself bitesize, when it has taken me a lifetime to feel comfortable taking up space?
I will never appeal.
I will never be able to succinct myself so simply. I will always find fault in the middle of the description supposed to represent myself. There is no me without acknowledging Origin. There is no me without fault, no me without indecision.
I carry my baggage with me.
‘About Me’ —
‘I’m funny’. That is, I’ve learned to cope with humor. That is, laughing equals acceptance. That is, funny means I'm liked, means I have friends, means I have personality. That is, I am liked — therefore I am funny as well. I carry the words with me.
‘I love meeting new people’. That is, I’ve learned to lie to build relationships. That is, extravert means approachable. That is, I’ve learned to embody ‘social chameleon’. That is, I’ve become a social-clique nomad, which means lonely.
‘I am spontaneous’. That is, I’ve learned that yes means opportunity. That is, I have no boundaries, I’ve learned they exclude. That is, FOMO is a disease I’ve contracted. This means uninvited is bad, means invited is liked, wanted, valued.
‘I’m a musician’. That is, it’s what I was good at. That is, it was a personality trait. That is, the community is a given. Means, it became my own, means I found escape, solace, and sanctuary.
I hate ‘about me’ questions. I don’t know anything about me. That is, I know plenty, but nobody really wants the truth…
P.S. This is a living, evolving post. It will grow as I do, as I truly get to know more ‘about me’. XOXO
