About Me — Amanda Melheim
I’m a CPTSD survivor, grad student, and nerd
I was going to upload a picture of my social security card for you, but I figured a picture of my face was more interesting. I’m joking. Never upload a picture of your social security card to the internet. Also, my face is not remotely interesting. I know you’re really here for pictures of Bun-Bun. I just happen to be photobombing him.
Yes, I wear glasses. It’s my disguise so that Lois Lane doesn’t recognize me. It’s really key that she never connects the lovable, “sweet” person she knows with the person on the internet who writes about mental health, race, women’s rights, and pop culture.
Okay, fine. I have nearsightedness and astigmatism.
Personal Me
I know you want the juicy details on my personal identity first.
I am an American with Jewish, German, Norwegian, British, and Irish DNA, and most people see me and say “white” — I am very fair-skinned. I’m just hoping they aren’t saying “white” as in I’m anemic again. I am an ulcerative colitis survivor with lingering chronic effects, such as anemia, commonly known as corpse face.
My childhood wasn’t great, understatement, and I am in therapy for C-PTSD. Therapy rocks when you can find the right person to do it with. The “right person” is highly contextual. Therapists are not one size fits all. Also, don’t try to wear your therapist. It will damage the trust and sanctity of your client-therapist relationship.
I love psychology, writing, baking, and watercolor painting. Bed is my safe place, but I’m increasingly poking my head out of my apartment in order to do what I call “scripted spontaneity” with my friends as my PTSD fatigue improves.
My felt sense of gender is very fluid and indistinct, but I identify as she/they. “Woman” being a social construct made up by men really helps me keep my sanity on the days when I feel like I’ve ended up with my socks on my hands and my arms refusing to go through the arm-holes of my shirt and I’m asking, “What am woman? How be?” and quietly sobbing in a corner of my apartment.
I’m one of those Millenials who talk about life in terms of journeys. Actually, I do that because I’m a fantasy nerd and I totally believe in the power of archetypes and mythical heroes and heroines. I keep thinking I’m too old to be a “Millenial,” but the internet doesn’t lie. There’s nothing like Googling “What generation is someone born in 1987?” and having the internet explain you to you. Millenial just sounds so futuristic and fancy.
Professional Me
Who am I professionally?
I’m a graduate student in south central Kentucky in an online Master of Arts in English program. It’s a small program, but I don’t mind. I like the atmosphere of it. Plus, I live in town so I can always go to campus and track my professors down. I promise I humanely tag them and release them back into the wild.
My plans for myself? I’m going to finish my degree, become a college lecturer, work my way up to being a professor, and I’m going to publish here on Medium and in academic journals. I attended the Kentucky Philological Association for the first time last year to give my first presentation on a paper. They didn’t accept it for publication, but, hey, attending conferences counts as sweet, sweet Curriculum Vitae fodder.
Also, ooh, update! As of October 20, 2023, I am a member of Alpha Chi. I got invited to join them because some people think I’m good at college and stuff. Good to know! Yay me. Hope this isn’t a seduction to the Dark Side of the Force or anything. If they start talking about harnessing my fear and anger into shooting lightning from my fingers, I’ll have to politely tell them I need to think about it and run it past my therapist. Will keep you updated.
