About Me Stories
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About Me Stories

MaryClare’s ABC’s

Get to know more about me with 26 facts from A to Z

I’m late for this party but I figured I’d show up anyway.

The truth is I saved this list for a day when I had very little energy or inspiration for article writing and could do something relatively simple.

These ABCs are all about me. (un)Lucky You!

A is for Australia

I grew up in Australia which sounds cool and exotic, but since I was constantly abused, I never got to enjoy it. I’ve lived in the USA for many years now, and I suppose where I’m at is “home” but I don’t have any concept of home.

B is for books

I love to read, and I read a lot of nonfiction because most novels contain a romantic relationship and I don’t care to read about shit like that. I used to read horror because I enjoyed it and there were fewer stories created around romance in that genre. Jesus kind of threw a wrench in that and asked me to give up the entire genre and that’s a story for another day, I promise.

C is for creative

I live the life of a creative, which means I create awesome stuff and don’t get paid for it. Ha. Writing is my favorite creative activity, but I also put a lot of creativity into decorating my own space (my room) in ways that make me happy, mostly because they are altars and shrines. One for Mother Mary, one for Jesus, one for memento mori.

D is for death

I’m known by some as “The Child Who Refused to Die” because, despite everything I went through, I’m still here. I also speak to the dead and pray for them. I’ve seen enough death in my time and interacting with dead people is easier than going to a funeral. I was supposed to die, and people attempted to kill me and my spirit over, and over, and over again. It seems that God had plans for me though, the weapons formed against me did not prosper and now I’m doing my best to live for him.

E is for Episcopalian

When I finally found Jesus (he wasn’t lost, I was), it was at the altar of a small Episcopal church in Louisiana. A priest I had cursed out months beforehand placed Jesus in my hand, and I took, and I ate, and I was converted. I love my church so much, there are good people there. Many of us are Christians that didn’t fit in elsewhere, and I’m glad there is space for us.

F is for fitting in

By that I mean that I don’t really fit in anywhere and sometimes that hurts like hell at other times it’s not as bad but I’ve mostly accepted it, except when I haven’t. The truth is though that I’ve always wanted to fit in, like most other people do, but I’ve always stood out. I try to carry it as a badge of honor but that’s not always what happens.

G is for growth

Growth is vitally important and it’s something I strive for, even when it hurts. I went to graduate school simply so that I could learn new things, new ways of thinking, and grow. People kept asking what I wanted to “do” with my degree and I always told them that learning was the point.

H is for healing

God is healing me, it’s amazing to watch and I’m so thankful. Healing, wholeness, and sobriety are the things I desire.

I is for injustice

Many of the things that have happened in my life have been massive injustices that I have always had to fight. It’s how my Dissociative Identity Disorder came about. The abuses I’ve suffered are extreme, which means another part of the injustice is not being believed. People don’t want to believe the world is that bad, and people tend to believe my parents just because they are parents.

J is for the journey

Life is a journey, and mine has taken me to many places, not all of them good. I’ve spent a lot of time lost and floundering in the darkness, and now that there is light, I’m not always sure what to do with it. I do know it’s important to walk and journey in the light, but it takes some getting used to.

K is for kryptonite

The things that weaken me are turning away from Jesus, listening to the lies of the past, and addiction.

L is for literature

Many stories have contributed to helpingme heal from the trauma of my life. I’m still in that healing process, but I’m thankful for books and essays, and articles. The Awakening by Kate Chopin, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison, White Horse by Eliese Colette Goldbach, and much more!

M is for Mother Mary

The Mother of God, and my mother too. I’m thankful for my spiritual mother. She brings me to Jesus, she has done some amazing things for me, and she loves me. She was always there for me in the background, but I didn’t meet her until about two years ago. She too has changed my life. Hail Mary, full of grace…

N is for name

When certain people in the Bible, such as Jacob (whose name was changed to Israel), and Saul (whose name was changed to Paul), had a life-changing encounter with God, their names were changed by God himself. I am a person who has had significant encounters with God that have resulted in conversion and transformation. When I was baptized, I was baptized with the name God gave, which means that this is my real name. What is on my government-issued identification is irrelevant to anyone but the government.

O is for Obesity

I don’t like being obese, but I’ve had to accept it as part of my life. When I’m being abused I can lose 60lbs in a year but when I’m not, and I’m emotionally and spiritually healthy, I tend to be heavier. I don’t like being fat, but for right now it’s a fact of life. Maybe one day I’ll have the energy to work harder on it, but probably not while I’m limited on what food I can eat due to economic issues. Yes, I know it causes health issues, but my health issues have also caused me to need medicine that makes me gain weight. I do want to be lighter, I also want to be realistic. If I can lose that 60lbs again, that would be nice.

P is for purple

My favorite color of all time. Blue-based purples are my preference over red-based purples, but both have their place. Purple is the color of Lent, my favorite season of the liturgical calendar, and the color of repentance that leads to transformation. It’s a rich and beautiful color, there is no other color quite like it.

Q is for questioning

My “problem” in life is that I ask too many questions, and the more that somebody doesn’t want to answer the questions, the more I want them answered. As far as my relationship with God, I’ve had to get comfortable with the questions but at least I now know that God is okay with questions. People tend to shit on St. Thomas, aka “Doubting Thomas,” but instead of condemning Thomas, Jesus showed him his wounds. Thomas didn’t believe without evidence, but the evidence changed his mind. Jesus did chide him in the end, but he never blamed him.

R is for rosary

The rosary is my favorite thing of all time. It’s another one of those completely transformative things thanks to Jesus and Mother Mary. I make rosaries, I sell rosaries, I give rosaries away. Each one is different because I believe everyone needs their own that they connect to. I carry a rosary everywhere I go. I have a rosary on my desk, a rosary beside the chair I sleep in, rosaries hanging on a hook on the outside of the bathroom door, rosaries hanging on the wall, a rosary in the car, often a rosary around my neck or wrist.

S is for Sexuality

I can’t be put in a box but the three words to describe my sexuality are lesbian, asexual, and romantic. That means if I was in a relationship (which isn’t something I see myself wanting again), it would be with a woman. I’ve always been asexual. I don’t like sex, it’s gross, I don’t understand the appeal, but you do you. I have no patience for flowers and chocolates and date nights. I like gifts, but ones that make me know that a person knows me and thought about me specifically. I have no use for reading or watching or listening to romantic stories, they gross me out.

T is for trafficked

I was trafficked to the United States to marry a Christian fundamentalist young man (it wasn’t his fault either, please don’t blame him. I’m grateful not to be married to him anymore, but this wasn’t his doing). My father paid $2,000 for me to be “taken off his hands” even though I hadn’t lived with him in years. Nobody had to purchase me, my father paid to get rid of me. Ellen Hopkins’ books Traffick and Tricks were important to my healing.

U is for underworld

I’ve spent many years in the underbelly of society, being homeless can do that to a person. I became homeless when I was nineteen after a series of things that weren’t my fault but also things I couldn’t just turn around and fix. It’s a different kind of underworld that most thankfully never experience, and I’m sad that it’s becoming the experience for more and more people.

V is for vanquishing

Jesus is vanquishing my old life and the foes that are part of it. He conquered sin and death and so he’s conquering my past.

W is for water

I have a complicated relationship with water. I was born under the sign of Pisces which means precious little but sounds cool and is a water element. Water is scary when it has unrestrained power, and in those moments it’s also mesmerizing. I’m terrified of water, and I love water. I have some memoir pieces about water, water used to terrorize me, and the waters of baptism. I will be writing more stories about water at a later time. Water can be life and death, depending on the context.

X is for X factor

(special talent, quality, or variable in an outcome)
The X factor in my life is Jesus, he is the variable that changed how my life is turning out.

Y is for yobbo

An Australian term for a hooligan. If you want to know about my yobbo days you’ll have to read my memoir pieces.

Z is for zombie

Zombies are a good way to describe what happens with dissociation. I’m on autopilot with the brain of another person thinking. I’m not always dissociating, but when I am, this is a good way to explain what happens.

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MaryClare StFrancis, M.A.

MaryClare StFrancis, M.A.

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She/her. I write memoirs, feature articles, essays, poetry, and more.