psychotherapeutic effect of language learning
Analysing the inner problems which learning languages helped me reveal and the ways I coped with them.
Throughout my life I have tried learning 5 languages — English, German, Hungarian, Italian and Hebrew. I learnt English as a child, because my parents decided it was useful. I am learning German now in an online-school. Hungarian appeared in my life in March 2023, when I knew that I was accepted to master’s program in Budapest and decided to get familiar with the language of the country I was going to live in for the next 2 years. I found a Soviet textbook and combined texts and exercisers that were suggested there with Duolingo. Hebrew was just for fun, just because I wanted to try something new in life. I also learnt it with Duolingo, a textbook and with the help of YouTube. Now I am also learning Italian with the help of textbook, YouTube channel and Chat GPT which hold conversations with me and corrects my mistakes.
I still do not speak neither Hungarian, nor Hebrew (German is doing a bit better and Italian is right now at the very beginning, but I also can say some simple phrases), but that is not the point. In this post I will not talk about some obvious benefits of studying languages like memory improvement or development of self-discipline, because language learning is much more than that.
It gave me much more than just the ability to communicate with people of different nationalities. It revealed some of my inner problems which disturbed me and helped me to solve them. And I want to share this inner processes of mine with you.
Learning to make mistakes
It turned out I find it difficult to allow myself make mistakes. Learning several languages helps me overcome this fear and get used to mistakes, because I inevitably make them when using a new language.
This skill is although crucial not only for language learning, but for all the other things in life.
Fear of mistakes so often becomes an obstacle for us to try something new, that it is for sure worth overcoming this fear through learning languages. You force yourself into making mistakes and then at some point feel that you are not a perfectionist anymore.
Getting used to marathon-type challenges
I once knew about myself that I prefer to solve huge tasks in short time periods. I can work like mad devoting 10 hours a day finding solution for some problem or preparing for a test/interview etc., but I can work in such pace only for a limited number of days. 6–8 days and I am finished.
Being able to cope with marathon-type challenges which require making small steps everyday throughout a long period (a year, for example) has never been my cup of tea.
But life is not always about working in huge volumes over short periods of time, life requires flexibility and the ability to adapt for different types of tasks. And it is language learning that helps me cope with this and teaches me work step-by-step everyday, because one can not learn a language in a week.
Dealing with rigidity of thought
I have never been good at making decisions quickly. I usually think for quite a while before taking any kind of action, starting with the selection of university and ending with the choice of things I want to do in the evening. I do not actually think it is a bad character trait, because it is almost always better to think thoroughly before making some decision, but sometimes it creates unnecessary difficulties. Taking up new languages makes me get rid off this stiffness, because when I feel like learning a new language I need to start almost immediately, otherwise the will is going to disappear. I am learning to be more flexible and easy-going.
Concentrating on the process, not on the perfection
When mastering a language I learn not to seek perfection, but to enjoy the process. For a long time I have had a mindset that if I started learning a language I must learn it to the level of the native speaker (God knows what for I need it, actually…). Of course, each time I understood I was not up to this standard I felt depressed and frustrated. But I find this mindset very destructive.
Now every time I run into some difficulties when learning a language I try to shift my mindset from the thoughts like «oh God, there are a lot of exceptions to remember here, what a complicated and hard to learn language it is» to the thoughts like «wow, this language is so diverse and vibrant, I will try to remember this specific feature, because it will help me feel the language better and master it step by step».
It really helps me to switch from frustration I feel during my studies to curiosity and the joy of learning new. From now on I approach the process of learning a language not with the thought «I need to be as fluent as a native speaker», but with a thought «I want to be able to say at least something, at least a bit about myself and things which are somehow important for me». It feels much easier then. And I am enjoying the process of studying much more.
This principle helps me in other life spheres, including blog. I am not trying to be perfect anymore. I am just doing things the way I can do them right now, knowing that they will not be ideal. I feel that it is better to do at least somehow, than to wait for perfection and end up doing nothing at all.
At the same time I am still trying to get used to the thought that although I have been learning English since I was a child I still make mistakes and I will always make them. Because the number of years I learn it — no matter how large it is — will never make me a native. This thought is still a tough one for me.
Learning to praise myself for little achievements
I have always been good at achieving goals by hard work and devaluing my efforts, but I have never been good at praising myself for the things I achieved. And when I learn a language I feel like no achievement is great enough to be proud of myself, even when the progress is obvious.
Learning languages helps me slowly change this character trait and notice small successes and celebrate them.
I try to praise myself for every homework I did, for every sentence I was able to write and say in German or Italian (even with mistakes), for every video on YouTube I was able to understand even partially.
If you have also felt that learning a foreign language helped you know more about yourself and to overcome some inner challenges, you are welcome to share you experience in the comments! I am really eager to know about other healing effects learning a language might give.
P.
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