School vs Your Relationship (How You Can Find Balance)
Can they both be winners?
Academic achiever or happily-ever-after?
I was once at this crossroad and in the end, I took both lanes.
Currently, I have ties with one of the most amazing people in the world (my girlfriend). We met in school and started dating after the unprecedented COVID pandemic. Our relationship has been going for six months and counting…
Recently, we hurdled over the treacherous exam week. As always, it is a busy time that fills desks with mountains of quizzes, notes, and previous papers.
What came soon after, was the dreaded exam scores. For most students, they wished this would never be revealed. I was anxious and the walk to my teacher’s desk felt like crossing a balancing beam between two towers. As I held my exam paper, I was shaking. Sweat began to drip on my forehead…
I took a deep breath and took a peek at the paper.
I started to sweat buckets. My heart sank because red marks filled the pages. My ideal grade was not in reach anymore. I was an honor student and maintained a certain grade so this was worrying. Once I got home, I decided to immediately tell my parents about my exam to get the scolding out the way. HOWEVER, I did not expect what would come after.
Aside from being scolded…I was prohibited to go out with my girlfriend.
“You better fix those grades or you will never see her again.”
Was It Really Her Who Brought My Grades Down?
Too often do relationships get blamed for bad grades at school. There is a connotation that we get “entranced” and love takes hold of our judgement leading to day-dreaming and out of focus.
Whether that is true or not, the sad reality is: you will find it hard to convince your parents (and other people) that it was not your relationships FAULT. The only option is to look no further than yourself (and get that A+).
How do you go about this? This post will give you a general breakdown on the right mindset and some tips to becoming both an academic achiever and a good partner.
Balance is the 🔑
Just like measuring the ingredients for cake to make it delicious, a good balance between school and your relationship is required to make it work.
It starts with simply questioning yourself and your partner:
What do YOU want? …..What do I want?
Knowing your needs (and especially your partner’s) will create a guideline for you to structure your day-to-day activities.
For example, you asked your partner how many times they wanted to meet in a week while letting your partner know about your problems at school. Most likely they will understand and maybe lessen than the amount of times you guys normally meet in the week.
That will allot MORE time for your studies and…it will BOOST your relationship as you partook in the magic that is…open communication.
Learning to talk about your needs and understanding your partner’s needs will allow you to create a consensus on certain topics.
It will create a win-win situation.
My partner and I took some time to sit down and talk about this matter where we decided to create DOWNTIME. Essentially, this is a period of time that we collectively put our phones aside and work on doing school activities and other necessary tasks. Aside from becoming more focus, there is this invisible support from knowing that your partner is also working hard.
Pair Activities
What’s gonna work? Teamwork!
Studying together can also be a great way to boost both of your academic performances while spending time together (especially if you have the same classes). It is known to lead towards better focus and to learn concepts at a faster rate. Working with others will provide an outlet for different ideas and perspectives on the topic you would not think of studying by yourself. Aside from that, it also makes studying more enjoyable and fun!
A word of caution! In study groups, there is a fine line between studying and messing around so make sure you do not get off track.
Tailor, tailor, tailor
At the end of the day, remember that each of us are unique human beings which means we are also made up of unique relationships. There is no such thing as a “one-size-fits-all” approach when it comes to scheduling and balancing school and life. This sounds like it takes time but the results of having the grades you want while keeping your partner happy is worthwhile.
The most important lesson to remember is to find that SWEET SPOT.
Writing this seems more like a reflection than an experience. As my story happened recently, I will also be on this journey with you. Finding the balance with my partner will serve as a stepping stone for both of us in reaching new heights together. Hoping that this will worked for you and enjoy the time with your partner!
— Jerome K.
