Why You Should Spend Your 20s Improving Yourself and Your 30s Dating
If you took one look at the title and rolled your eyes, hear us out.
Nope, we’re not saying you have to dedicate your 20s to self-improvement and nothing else. We’re also not saying wait until you’re 30 before you date.
The title isn’t clickbait. We promise.
We’re saying that there are experiences you need to prioritize to help yourself get the most out of life, and most of these experiences present themselves when you’re in your 20s.
We’re saying that dating demands certain traits from you that you may not develop yet until you’re pushing the big 3–0.
Grow up first, is what we’re saying.
It turns out that most people still have a lot more growing up to do than they first thought.
The human brain isn’t done developing until a person is in their mid to late 20s, as a publication by the National Institute of Mental Health entitled The Teen Brain: 7 Things to Know stated.
This suggests that people aren’t fully mature on an intellectual level until they’re in their twenties.
The popular sentiment “Adulting is hard,” makes better sense now.
But “maturity” is a relative term. The average eighteen-year-old is mature enough to get a job, but certainly not mature enough to run for president.
This is why your twenties are a great time for self-improvement. Many self-improvement goals are well within the psychological capacity of young adults, and the freedom and skills you’ve gained by the time you’re in your twenties can give your efforts a boost.
Take for example the following self-improvement steps you can take for yourself:
- Getting a job or earning your own income
- Getting a headstart on building a nest egg
- Learning new skills, whether job related or not
- Developing healthy lifestyle habits
- Putting together a medical history
- Reflecting on your experiences and learning from them
These goals can help you grow into a self-aware and responsible individual. Most self-improvement goals are necessary. Others are best achieved while you’re young.
Dating is different from self-improvement experiences because it’s not supposed to be only about you. It affects at least one other person on an intimate and deeply personal level. It requires a caliber of accountability and empathy that most people don’t attain until they become self-aware and responsible.
Yes, dating should be fun. But people aren’t meant to be just entertainment. When people “play around” with each other, they could end up inflicting a permanent kind of hurt.
Sadly, dating mistakes have a tendency to be more emotionally traumatic than most. The resulting self-doubt and resentment more often than not hinder a person’s learning process. Sometimes, it could lead to the dreaded “hurt people hurt people” cycle.
Some experiences in life you have to give yourself the chance to grow into. By doing so, you gain a better understanding of yourself. The better you understand yourself, the more willing you are to understand others.
Mature, self-reliant people are also more resilient. They’re kinder to themselves and to others. They make fewer mistakes. They know how to appreciate life better.
Wouldn’t you want to date someone like that? If you do, then give yourself a chance to grow into that kind of person too.
There’s no one set timeline for growing up. Your 20s and 30s are just ideal ages; the times when you’re most likely to be free and capable.
The important thing is that you pace yourself. Work on being your own person first before you decide to become someone else’s person.
