About running through the pain

How much pain is too much pain? We’ve all been there. Whatever the distance, when you’re racing and pushing hard, to the limit of your abilities, there is a time when the pain shows up and it stays with you. It can be early in the race, half way or some times in the final stretch but the what’s more important than when it appears is how we deal with it.

If you search for them, dozens of videos of runners being almost defeated by pain, exhaustion or dehydration, who refuse to give up, can be easily found. They finish the race. No matter what, they finish. Some times very close to risking their own life in the process.

I genuinely think that some individuals have trained themselves to live with the pain so much that in doing so they have lost the ability to turn it off, so when it comes to some of those viral videos of extreme situations, I truly feel the athlete can not control their response to the pain, or at least dial it down.

When it comes to handling pain and finishing a race you have to go all in, with no shades of grey, doubts, or little caveats. It’s a natural, instinctive reaction that can’t be regulated. The minute you start sizing the pain or the worth of the race, that’s the moment the mind will abandon you and choose the easy way out. That in itself is very dangerous but it’s what separates similarly matched athletes. That can often be the difference between winning and losing or between achieving the time or not.

I’m not going to start listing ways of dealing with that running pain because there’s hundreds of books that do a much better job but when it comes to me, I don’t necessarily have a set strategy. It’s either there or it isn't. It’s not something I actually plan in advanced. I pretty much know it’s going to hurt no matter what and take that as a given.

What tends to happen in races is that subconsciously my mind will decide if I care enough or not. Just before a race I don’t think I am able to get a good, accurate read for how much I want it, but when it’s crunch time, and given quite a few variables, my mind will naturally decide how much effort needs to go in.

In my 11 years of taking part in road and track races I have never quit a single race except because of injury (once).

I have often thought about why I feel I must finish every race, no matter what, and I strongly think that the main reason is that if I quit once, I will want to do it again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have wanted to stop running in, possibly, 80%-90% of all races and I guess that is the point. If I get used to making it easier for myself when facing discomfort I am afraid it will trigger a gradual decline in my determination and will power.

Once you know how good something feels, at some level, your subconscious will want it again. And even though you want to finish, you will know how good it feels to just stop running. And you might feel it’s ok to do it again. And again.

The way I see it, 95% of what a race is about is finishing. No matter what. It’s not about your time, your average pace, race position, etc. And it’s definitely not about what others will think.

I am most certain there are runners out there who think they will be in for lecturing and criticism if they run 70% of a race at target pace and then slow down dramatically in order to finish it. They would rather stop running and have the numbers look good to that point.

Then they try to rationalise the decision with things like “not feeling it”, “small niggle”, “fuelling issues”, and hundreds of other comments. And they may all be true as to why the race didn't go according to plan, but those should not be strong enough to quit!

Let me, again, stress that injury is a very legitimate reason to stop and that health comes first, that’s not what I’m getting at.

I have abandoned training sessions. And that’s ok. The point of training is to stress the body, not break it. So when I feel the body is not ready for a session, I can either abandon it completely or just slow down and try to run easy to recover instead. A race is different. I’ll say it again, the point of the race is to finish. And that goes for all levels and abilities. FINISH first.

My thought process during a race can vary. I am aware at all times of my effort, pace and distance left. I also know how fit (or unfit) I have arrived at that race and I know how much pain I can take. So then it’s almost a natural reaction.

During some races I have not been adequately prepared for, I have had to slow down dramatically and just finish. My first marathon or any other race I enter when unfit are clear examples of that. Pacing strategy in that situation doesn't really matter that much since the problem is always enduring the distance.

The body is not there and it can’t take the beating so it naturally starts slowing down and no amount of will power will fix that. I just slow down, take the pain and finish. Get it over and done with.

I then look at the positives. The mental determination to finish, the hard shift and future benefits, I can be honest with myself and understand where I am (physically and mentally)… Lots of positives to be gained by just finishing.

After those races I know I will face scrutiny from external sources, and that’s also ok. I get it. The questions start… “what happened?”, “are you ok?”, etc. and I suppose it’s only natural for people to want to know what’s going on. But what those questions are doing, essentially, is assuming all races are run when at my fittest or with the sole purpose to win or do well in terms of finishing time, when the reality is that some races are there to test different aspects of my preparation, whatever those may be.

Bottom line, I am prepared to accept external judgement in knowing what value I have gotten from that race and from finishing it.

And then there’s the races where I am fit. I am primed and ready. Well prepared, with good strategy, everything is optimal for a competitive performance.

Those races always bring about loads of pain. What changes is how I perceive the pain. Good pain or bad pain. The only difference between good pain and bad pain is what, I evaluate, they bring to the table.

Is that amount of pain allowing me to stay on pace or to stay in the right position? Or is the pain there because I am seeing my objectives slowly getting away from me?

Positive pain is the best. It spurs me on and it generates additional energy and motivation to keep digging in. When it pays off it’s one of the best feelings in the world.

I guess the question is, what happens when I encounter negative pain. I see my average pace slow down or I start doubting I can hold on to my position and fear I will, inevitably, start slowing down. How do I deal with that?

Well, it’s not easy. I first tend to start breaking down the remaining distance into smaller chunks. Last Saturday during the Dorney Lake half marathon was a bit of an example of bad pain.

Fair enough I’m not at the fittest I have been this year. I have lost some endurance and speed endurance since coming back from holiday but I’ve been able to race and be fairly competitive.

What that means is that I know there might be times during a race where things will not go according to plan or where I will not feel great. So it’s as much about the times or position than it is about how I deal with the various challenges along the way.

I had not prepared particularly well for last Saturday’s half marathon but I have some decent level of fitness and over the last few weeks I have been running enough to get a sense for what I could do.

Based on the Folkestone half a couple of weeks ago I knew my target was to run around 3'25" per kilometre, always depending on external factors like weather, course, etc.

The week before I had run about 100 miles (160km) in 8 days including a flat out tricky half, a decent steady session midweek (18km @ 3'50"/km) and then the London marathon with 21km at 3'58"/km and 10km at 3'30"/km so tapering (more like recovering) before this half marathon was a must.

So last week, ahead of the half marathon I decided to barely run. That in itself presented challenges around stiffness, weight gain, etc. but it was the only way forward if I wanted to have any level of freshness after the preceding heavy work.

The day before and during the same morning I could tell I had tightness and stiffness in quite a few areas (glutes and hamstrings mainly). That really set me up to expect pain!

The race course was flat and fast but unfortunately there were winds of 30kph when we got there. Not really the most inspiring of situations warming up around barriers and drink tables being knocked by the wind.

I started reasonably quick (quicker than ideal) thinking that I would really test myself. Each loop forced me to face the strong winds for about 3km before getting a tail wind for about 2km.

This first lap, whilst fresh, was not a problem. I attacked it a bit to be ahead of the game slightly. I managed the first two laps well and got to half way averaging 3'24"/km (sub 36' and on target for high 1.11). By then I knew how much energy I was having to spend just to stay on pace whilst facing the wind. By the third lap I had to really dig deep and the pace took a hit. I had pretty much run out of gas to keep driving. It was ok to run on autopilot at a demanding pace but not enough to fight the wind for 10 minutes again and stay on pace.

At about km 15 my energy levels dropped to the point of having serious doubts about finishing. I went from feeling strong and pushing to having doubts about being able to run for another 5 minutes, never mind finishing the race!

My pace dropped and I had no response. All that kept going through my head was stopping. My calf and hamstring muscles were burning and the body was just not moving forward. I calculated I had another 22 minutes of running and my mind almost gave up. 22 minutes seemed impossible!!! It would be the slowest finish in history, I might as well stop. It’s not only 22 minutes but 10–12 of those are against the wind being pushed backwards. No way I can do this!

And you know what? I almost gave up. Twice. But I couldn't! I was not going to be beaten, even if I had to walk to the finish line. I finish races, that’s what I do!!

So I stopped fighting the pace and focused on the inner pain. I don’t care how fast or slow I’m running, I care for living with the pain all the way to the finish.

I told myself to get to the start of the final loop. Just 1km to go for that. 3'-4' like this. To the next bridge 300 meters ahead just like this. I can take this to that bridge. When I got to the bridge I could see the start of the last loop. I can get there like this. It hurts now but I can get there.

I got to the start of the final loop and another negative thought invaded my head. I can’t do another lap! No chance!! I close my eyes and focus on the pain again. I can take the pain for a couple of minutes. I know I’m slowing down and I tell myself just to get through the windy part. I can quit then. Just another 5' of this pain. Count to 60 five times. I can live with pain until then. I can stop then.

I finally turn to the final straight (about 2km) and I get a bit of cross wind but it’s a relief from the fight. I can finish this. 5 more minutes like this and final push. I look at my average pace for the second half of the race and it’s showing as 3'29"/km. I make it my mission to bring that down to 3'28"/km before the finish line. I push and I push. My shoulders are tight and I’m in a world of pain. Another look at the Garmin, 1.2km to go! I can do this!!

Another glance at the Garmin…the average is now 3'28"/km for that second half which means my overall average is 3'26"/km. I do some quick calculations and it realise I’m in for a low 1.12, maybe 1:12:15 or 1:12:20 and that motivates me to really push.

And then the realisation that the gps distance recorded and the actual distance left will not match. I get to the 21.1km in 1:12:25 and I’m still running. It looks like I have another 200m to go. I keep pushing and hit the garmin button when I cross the finish line. I don’t even bother to look at what it reads. I’m angry!! I’m disappointed and angry!! I don’t know why my watch shows over 1h13m when I ran the entire race at 1.12 effort. I struggle with that mentally.

I pushed myself to finishing the race when I wanted to quit and my reward was disappointment. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a 300 meter discrepancy in a race that’s not a marathon. Even in a 400 meter track the gps is more accurate. I don’t understand how every runner I check on Strava has the same distance as me. 21.35km, 270 meters or 3/4 of a lap of the track!!!!! Usually in such races Garmin gps is about 99.5% accurate, that is maybe about 100 meters (15–20 seconds), not 55 seconds!

I guess now the question is, does it matter of I ran to my maximum ability? It does!! Because those 2–3 seconds per km can be bridged when pacing the distance well. From the start. The impact on the body and the mind is similar when managed per km. I know my effort was worth the better time.

Anyway, 01:13:14 and PB but feeling a bit down after the effort.

Here’s two videos I find quite inspirational and illustrative of what running through the pain and determination to finish looks like!

Happy running!