On love and letting go
Let u = go
Oops. Read that again. The phrase above is no hugot about love at all. It is a mathematical condition.
Kidding aside, love and letting go are often associated with each other. Many people would agree if I say that letting go is one manifestation of genuine love. You only know you love her when you let her go, they say. I wonder what’s really behind this line of a song.
The meaning of love has been in constant flux for the past 2016 years that history has recorded. It would be safe to say it has acquired a pretty twisted definition. Most people say that being in a romantic relationship is the best proof that someone knows love. Yet being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that one knows love and not being in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that one does not know love. Truth be told, sometimes it is precisely because one knows love that’s why he/she is not in a relationship in the present.
Now, let’s go back to that act of letting go. After living for almost a score years, I have come to realized that the sooner you realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you, the happier you’ll be. Letting go of selfishness is one good riddance. Ironically, it is through selflessness that one’s desire can be satisfied to full content. What about in love? Does letting go indicate love?
Let me get this straight. I am not saying that in all cases, letting go should (not) be done if you love the person. It’s just that on a personal note, life has taught me the definition of love through the act of letting go of something precious. I put ‘something’ there rather than ‘someone’ because I honestly don’t believe that you can really let go someone without first letting go of something which you have for that person. Setting a person free would only keep you chained if the feelings remain. That’s what I mean by the act of letting go. There is a thin line between letting a person go and letting go of your feelings for that person. Letting go of him/her is releasing the rubber band without removing your finger. It causes you pain. Letting go of feelings is releasing the rubber band while at the same time removing your finger. It spares you from the pain and simultaneously allows the rubber band to reach its destination. I’m not trying to make the act simple. Almost all of the time, genuine love for the person is required for one to be able to let him/her go. Now this love here is not the kind that leads to marriage. Rather, it’s the kind that looks at a relationship from a bigger perspective, from the lens of genuine care instead of selfish wants. Recently, I have realized that saying goodbye to a person too early will only cause unnecessary pain on the breaker’s side. Yet alongside this realization have I noticed that holding on any further would result to even more agony and both sides hurting. Saying goodbye to me meant that losing the chance to be with the person I adore is actually better than choosing to continue the relationship when both of us are not ready. I said goodbye not because I’ve lost interest in the person. In fact, the way I adore the person grew deep enough for me to know that it’s finally time to let go and let things be. I said goodbye not because I’ve lost hope for things to work out. In fact, it is because I’m afraid things will be working out too well and too early. Lastly, I said goodbye not because I don’t love her. It is precisely because I love her more than myself that I chose to let her leave. My heart knows enough that she’s better off without me because it is simply not the right time.
If we let u = go (and I hope you read that right this time), it doesn’t necessarily mean that u won’t be coming back. Sometimes, it is precisely because of the choice to let go that the person comes back at the right time for beautiful things to happen. True and valuable wisdom lies in accepting what is, letting go of what was and having faith in what could be.
If ‘u’ is that person you’ve been thinking of the whole time you’re reading this blog, then ask yourself: perhaps it is time to ‘let u go’?
