Graduation jitters of a Ph.D. student.
Ph.D. is a long journey that you must commit at least 4 years of your life. In my case, it has been 7 years! I cannot even imagine how it has been that long. Even though there are never-ending psychological ups and downs, mood swings, and uncertainties, what you will do the next morning is always unwavering. Each day, you wake up, go to your office, and make a coffee if no one beats you on that one, drink a cup of that, and start your experiments. Routine! But also, peace comes from the power of knowing. This is at least 4 years of stability in someone’s life, and as you finally approach the final step, the anxiety starts to take the lead. It’s strange how something you’ve wanted so much can also be scary. I’ve worked day and night to become a Dr., and now that I’m so close, it’s starting to scare me. It’s like the closer I get to my goal, the more nervous I feel. Once again, I’ve managed to surprise myself.
My mind is filled with chatter. On one side, there’s a voice of cheering for the awaited changes which are a lot and surprising for me too! It says to embrace them! The other side, tho, was louder than ever, too busy to make me worry. It comes with solid arguments: says that you will miss the comfort of your apartment, the routine of the school, and the late-night dates with your Superman coffee mug. As I face change, these mixed emotions inside me feel like a jumble of different tunes, showing the mix of uncertainty and nostalgia that comes with life’s shifts.
I bet many of you can relate, going through similar things when you are on the brink of a major life change. Overthinking makes it increasingly challenging to fully celebrate our achievements. It is inherent in human nature. My graduation brings unexpected jitters, catching me off guard, and that’s why I wanted to open up a heart-to-heart session here. If you’ve gone through something similar, raise a hand! Perhaps together, we can figure out how to quiet our inner demons.
We grad students survive on coffee. If you want to support me, you can always buy me one.
